What Happens If I Start Getting Stalked By Philly Area Twitter Nerds.

It's pretty cool being a super popular rock n roll superstar blogger...being all fuckin' famous and shit.

And I've done a pretty good job of keeping my identity private.

I do however love meeting other bloggers in person but now I'm running into a problem because of Twitter.

You see, most people that follow this blog - I assume - follow it because they think it's funny. On Twitter however, I already have over 250 followers and many are in the Philly area. But I think many people follow me just because I'm local to them.

Now I know I'm bringing it on my self because I'll tweet where I am but in the back of my head I'm wondering if I'm being watched. Like lets say in a few months I have a few thousand followers and I Tweet something like:

"Forced to go into Exton Kmart. Hey look at the hillbilly with the wolf shirt!"

Then all of a sudden several of the hillbilly relatives, all that are Tweet followers emerge, surround me and try to beat me for dissin' the wolf shirt. Sure, I'll just jump up onto a pipe, do a mid-air somersault and fly out of there but it's the inconvenience. In a pre-twitter world I'd be able to stare at the hillbilly, then approach him and say, "That's a mighty fine wolf on your shirt, is that the Grey Wolf? I think that's a great choice of shirts because you - not unlike the wolf my friend- seem like a leader...of some pack."

And I've intentionally been following people locally so I can see what's going on in the area, possibly meet some cool people and maybe even have them buy things for me. But for what price? What if I meet up with some of these Tweeters and they're complete nerds? Or they expect ME to buy THEM drinks?

What then? I am open to suggestions for how to weed out the people that don't meet these specifications:

Attractiveness - they don't have to be super attractive but I ain't hanging out with no freaks. Especially huge foreheaded people. You know, belugas.

Attentiveness - they understand that I like to dictate the tempo and pace of conversations.

Generous - they understand that I'm very busy so if they're spending time with me, the least they can do is buy the drinks. I will fight and say, "No, let me get this round" but they will be smart enough to say, "Forget it! I insist. Your payment is the words I'm honored to read on your Tweets."

Fashion Savvy - They don't own a wolf shirt.

Any tips?

Johnny DeFrancesco Power Trio at the Note In West Chester

The Johnny DeFrancesco Power Trio is at Bam Margera's The Note tonight (Oct 18) in West Chester. I saw them at Vincents Jazz and Blues * on Gay Street a while back and they're a really good power trio, playing lots of Cream, Stevie Ray Vaughn and other great blues and rock.

The other bands playing are Monacy and The Sermon.

And as always, I'll be on the lookout for any bloggers. I may even introduce myself so make sure to hit an ATM beforehand because it's going to be very embarrassing for you when you want to buy me drinks all night and all that's in your pocket are a few coins, a paper clip and a Wrigley's wrapper. Seriously, have some self respect.



*Did you know that Joe Pesci sang at Vincent's in the early 1980's when he was the lead singer for a Jazz band? It's a fact.
**Upon meeting me, until notice is given, do not look me directly in the eyes. Also, use common sense and perhaps others to gauge my mood. Don't come on too strong and always remember that I like to guide the tempo, tone and pace of all conversations. Other than that - have fun with it!