Father Kelly Draw My Tweet Contest. Chance for Heaven.

Hi everyone. I'm Father Kelly. You know me from Twitter*. First of all, I'd like to thank Dr Zibbs for letting me use his blog for my contest. You can follow him on Twitter as well if you want. His handle is @DrZibbs. (And you might as well follow his blog while you're at it) .

OK. Onto the very simple rules for the "Father Kelly Draw My Tweet Contest":

1) Pick one of my tweets and draw it.

2) Save your masterpiece as a JPG.

3) Email it to me. The email address is Lebner1 at Yahoo.com (see how I wrote that email in code? It's the way I keep off of the Jehovah's Witness mailing list) IMPORTANT: write "FATHER KELLY CONTEST" in the subject line.

4) The deadline for the contest is Thursday, March 11th at Midnight.

PRIZES:

- All people entering the contest will receive a 3 month tour of heaven when they die. Including THREE snack bar vouchers.

- The top five best Father Kelly drawings will be featured on this blog. If you have a blog, let me know in your email and I'll post a link to your blog. Also let me know your Twitter name. Depending on the number of entrees, maybe ALL the cartoons will be shown. Depends on my mood.

- The 1st place WINNER will receive a special prize that will be mailed to them AND a free pass to HEAVEN! (Expiration 1/31/2031). A blog post will feature your art here AND a tweet will go out ordering everyone to follow your blog and/or Twitter feed. You will also have the right to brag all over the Internet, to your friends, at work and even at your house of worship.

*Dr Zibbs/THAT BLUE YAK readers are also encouraged to enter. To read the Father Kelly Tweets and figure out which one you want to draw, click here.

CONTEST! Dead People. Classy Lawns.

WE'VE GOT AN IMPORTANT CONTEST HAPPENING OVER HERE.

I saw one of those "Lordy Lordy - look who's Forty" lawn things the other day. You know, where it's a big wooden cow then 40 little cows. Hmm....real clever.

They also have them when you have a baby with a bunch of little storks.

Well I have a better idea. It's probably really uncomfortable when a loved one dies and you have to tell all of your neighbors. Sure, you can go door to door and tell them or leave flyers in their mail boxes but do you know how time consuming that is? You're going to be plenty busy deciding if your loved one is only worth getting carnations for the funeral and searching your home for any hidden money the deceased may have stashed away. Greedy bastard.

Wouldn't it be much easier to display crappily painted wooden lawn art out front to announce that someone died? Sounds easy to me. Here are a few ideas:

- Grim Reaper running after person with caption, "You can run but I'm gonna catch you!"

- Miniature coffins.

- Angel, Devil and huge wooden question mark. Painted on the question mark are the words, "You decide". Maybe there can be a ballot box so neighbors can decide if they think the person is going to heaven or hell.

- Cute baby holding up finger with caption, "He was only dis old". (Sure, the baby might have 73 fingers but the whimsy of the piece will help to cheer people up during this difficult time).

These are just a few I came up with. I need to think of some more. Do you guys have any ideas?

This is where the contest part comes in. I will write, "(insert your name here) won the contest!" in the comments area. You can then print out my congratulatory comment and proudly frame it in your home.

Good luck!