I Accidentally Looked In Somebody's Email In Exton. Is God Mad At Me Now?

It's true. I went on a computer at the library the other day and when it said, "Would you like to restore your last session?" I clicked, "HELL YEAH!"

Then..there it was. A stranger's email. Mine for the picking.

Honestly, I would never look in a friend's email or my kid's because I would feel so bad. But a faceless stranger? Meh. I'll take a sneak peek. *taps fingertips together*

And I kind of hit the mother load. It was some chick's email that she uses for talking to people in some porn group. And the porn group was people that were into choking while having sex. So of course I went to the sent folder and there was an email that said, "I miss talking to you. I wish we were having sex now. How are things with you?"

And it was to another chick! Awwwww yeaaah!

But sadly that was the only good email. There were some pictures of chicks being gagged but that was it. But I did Google the girl's name because I wanted to see what she looked like but couldn't find a picture. Damn it!

So would any of you guys do the same thing? And don't THINK about lying.

Chinese Lady Had Me Cracking Up! Silent, Shoulder Shaking Laughing.

I was at the library today and I was on the computer and there was a super loud lady giving a Chinese lady English lessons. As in teaching her how to speak English. It's all you could hear because she was talking so loud.

And I started cracking up and almost had to leave because this happened:

Instructor: The word is "huge." Say it. "Huge."

Chinese Lady: Hoog.

Instructor: No. "Huge."

Chinese Lady: Hoog.

Instructor: Huge.

Chinese Lady: Hoog.

Instructor: No. Like this, "Huuuuuge."

Chinese Lady: Hooooog.

HAHA!! So I finally calm down from my silent, shoulder shaking laughing and I hear the instructor mention what a synonym was. But at first I thought she as saying "cinnamon" and thought she was going to make the Chinese woman say "cinnamon!"

HAHAHA!!! She can't get "huge" down and you're going to have her attempt "cinnamon????" WHAT THE HELL???

Then I couldn't stop laughing so I had to leave.

Chester County Library Needs Some Privacy Policies. Friendly Can Be Nosy.

I'm pretty friendly when it comes to talking to people that are servicing me. But I've got an issue with a particular librarian at our local library. Whenever I check out books, this individual needs to comment on the books.

This person sometimes even opens the book. "'Hmmm. Organic gardening huh? I guess it is about that time that people are starting to think about Spring.'" Or "'Cover Letters for Dummies'. Well you don't have to be a dummy to get your resume together these days.'"

I feel like getting these books out someday - and then this will happen:

"OK. What do we have today?. Oh. 'Making Masks'. Interesting. Alrighty and..Wow, "'The World of Serial Killers'. Creepy stuff there. And finally, 'Cover Your Tracks Without Changing Your Identity.' "

(nervously) "Will there be anything else?"

Yeah. Will you help me carry them to the car?

If The Reader's Digest ever publishes an evil version - I'm going to sell them this post. I think it would fit in nicely with that surprise ending thing I did there.

I Swear I'm Not Researching Hookers. I Swear.

So I'm at the library the other day. It's about 6:30 and someone from my wife's book club approaches.

Book Club Lady: Oh my God Zibbs. Funny to see you here.

Me: Hey - how you doin'? Do you come to the West Chester library often?

Book Club Lady: Once in a while. I just dropped my son of at guitar lessons so I have about an hour to kill. What are you working? (She glances down at my laptop).

Me: No - I was. I'm finished now. I'm just goofin' off.

Book Club Lady: OK. Well see you later.

She walks away and I look down at the blog I had been reading*. The title of the blog that is now almost flashing like a neon sign reads.......

"HOOKERS ON PARADE"

Stupid! I wanted to yell, "I SWEAR I'M NOT RESEARCHING HOOKERS! I SWEAR...LOOK..IT'S JUST THE TITLE OF A BLOG!!" - but didn't.

*The blog I was reading was Catherinette's - but I forget the name of her blog so chime in if you know it.

Chester County Blogger Orders Non-Book Reading Adults To Read

With the price of printer ink, I can't imagine what you people are paying to print out pages of my blog, craft a crappy makeshift cover out of cardboard and attach it to the copies. All in the name of being able to brag to your friends that you've read a book. The problem with reading real books is, there are very few books worth reading at all. UNTIL NOW.

Check out: Our Dumb World: The Atlas of The Planet Earth. It's from the people at the Onion. Click on the link and order online. I'm not sure how expensive it is because for some reason they ship it all the way from the amazon.

OR you can visit your local library. My library, the Chester County Library has so many books you wouldn't even believe it. And they're not even that big of a dick when you talk loud. I love the library. O.K. I'll even make it easier for you. Call your local library and tell them the name of the book and the call # -which is O 81. Most libraries will actually pull the book for you and put in on the shelf near checkout. You will have to turn the actual pages yourselves unless your library has some type of handicap program that'll help you out with that. Ours doesn't. Yet.

As for the content of the book, I'll say nothing other than it's a complete masterpiece. Trust me.

Happy reading smarty pants and return to these here comments after you've read it. Let me know what you think.

Coincidentally, West Chester based blogger J Dizzle (Hometown Hangover), just wrote a post about books. Check out this funny post about books that she just wrote on her blog. Plan to leave the 2nd funniest comment and don't forget to tell her Dr Zibbs sent ye'.