Thursday, April 11, 2013

Resusci Anne Was A Creep Fest! Mary C Howse Elementary Made Me Do This In 4th Grade!

*Points old straggly finger at Anne and talks like a ghost* "Kiiiiissss Meeee. KIIIISSSSS MEEEEE!!!"

Did you guys have to do the CPR Resusci Anne when you were in school? Where you had to perform CPR on this creepy ass dummy? I did. In FOURTH grade!! Then again in Seventh. But fourth grade. What were they thinking?

I remember thinking it was kind of scary but looking around the room some of the kids were terrified. Trying not to act nervous. And some were just super embarrassed that they were going to have to put their lips on this actual sized body and blow into it as the whole class watched. "Oh so THAT'S how you would kiss a girl? Oh I see."

I'm thinking of finding out how to volunteer at schools so I can be the person that teaches the kids.....
Like I would go into some schools in the South and make some of the racist kids do CPR on the black male Anne. Holding my clipboard I'd say, "So. You love blacks AND you're gay. Interesting." Maybe rig it so when their lips approach I pump something and it appears that the male Anne is getting a boner. Or just ugly it up with a mane of matted nose hair extending down right above the lips.


Or I would get really close to the kid and say something and when they turned around I'd be wearing one of these Anne masks and whisper, "Join us!"

And I'd choose one special kid that would get these baby Annes. Placed in their bed at night. And they would wake up to the sound of recorded voices saying, "Dad da. Dad da...."

Yeah I gotta get on that.

8 comments:

Dominica said...

It's even creepier when foam is coming out of the mouth. What about look-a-like dolls ? Could make it easier or just nastier doing the CPR. I would vote for a Donald Trump doll :)

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Hey. I stole that thing you did on your page when readers say who members of a band look like. Hope you don't mind. I gave you props on my page, so now the one or two readers a week who come by my page might come your way.

Kelly Robinson said...

This is one of the funniest things you've ever posted. I've had the tab up for days and keep coming back to it. Genius.

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Kelly!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Where you been? Start blogging again, buddy!!!!!!

A Heron's View said...

When living next to a fast flowing river years ago we had plenty of real dummies to practise on ....

Scope said...

Marco?

Dr Zibbs said...

Polo. Yeah I'll be back. I needed a break. But I'm still alive.