Part 3 - Conclusion of Sexy Dream Revealed By Blogger

(as many of you know, some sexy business has started with Gwen the blogger. See parts one and two, then clean yourself off and read on).

...so the love making went on for hours. Dr Zibbs needed some energy so Gwen made him a hearty breakfast that included some eggs Benedict and some freshly squeezed OJ and then it continued...

Gwen: (lying on Zibbs and playfully twirling his hair) Are you ready to go again?

Zibbs: After being revitalized with that heavenly Bearnaise sauce my dear? Of course.

Pumping resumes. Positions that make the Kamasutra look like a Bazooka Joe strip are used.

Gwen: Zibbs..

Zibbs: "Doctor" ..Zibbs please.

Gwen: Dr Zibbs, the things that you've done to me..the way you held my leg up and the softly tickled the arch of my foot. Thank God I lotion myself all over like I wrote in that one blog post a few weeks ago. ...the emotions that you've brought out...how did you learn all of this??...What exotic lands must one travel to get to this level of sexual experience? Are you even human??...How does one man please a woman like...

Zibbs: (covers her mouth) Shhhhhhh.

Gwen: I'm sorry baby (girlishly) Am I talking too much?

Zibbs: No I just heard the Bearnaise sauce bubbling in the kitchen. Would you mind topping this piece of poached egg off?

Gwen: Anything my dear.

She gets up (TOTALLY NUDE) and walks into the kitchen. Zibbs playfully throws a sausage patty at her ass. It sticks for a second then falls to the floor. She giggles. Gwen also totally ignores the fact that Eggs Benedict are made with Hollandaise sauce and not Bearnaise.

Zibbs: Get links next time baby. Get links.

Gwen: (returns to the bed and spoons some Bearnaise over a piece of Zibbs's last piece of egg and feeds it to him) How's that Dr Zibbs? Can we get back to fucking now?

Zibbs: Gwen, we can after you answer me one question.

Gwen: What is it stallion?

Zibbs: Why are there 100 shoes lined up over there behind that curtain?

Gwen: (nervously) Um. I just like to line my shoes up behind there like that?

Zibbs: Gwen, let's take this from the top. Why are there 100 shoes lined up over there?

Gwen: You know don't you?

Zibbs: (shaking head) Of course I do. It's OK, let them in.

Gwen: (walks over to the curtain and pulls it back to reveal 50 of his female bloggers from his record breaking 104 followers that have been hiding.....and watching.....and learning.... behind a curtain in the bedroom)
C'mon girls!

The 50 bloggers jump onto the bed and the "gettin it on" begins. Mind you it's an enormous bed.

Zibbs: Gwen, you better put on some more Bearnaise...we're gonna need it. (Pauses, turns toward camera and shrugs) Here we go again.

And CUT!

Part 2 of My Sexy Dream With A Gwen The Blogger

So I feel pretty lame that everyone complained that the dream I had about a blogger didn't get hotter. What do you people want? I was just describing a dream. So here are some portions of the transcript I will share after going to a hypnotist today (in tears) to help me continue that dream:

Zibbs: (sleeping like a baby on Gwen's cot he feels two things - a very bit symmetrically off for some reason - covering his eyes) What the?

Gwen: (in sexy voice) We call that the Saint Louis grapefruit face squoosh.

Zibbs: (wakes up with Gwen's ample breasts in his face) What? Why I never......... (He grabs Gwen and wrestles her to the floor. They roll off of the porch he was forced to sleep on and into her coolly decorated den)

A few minutes pass- Gwen is pinned to the floor. Similar to what you'd expect in a Bond movie

Zibbs: Gwen, you knew it was coming to this. So at what point was it that you knew you had to have me? Was it the comment I wrote about your wacky wafers? The post I wrote back in June about the pear shaped people? My posts about retarded people? Or perhaps the dreams you've had of THIS! (he pulls out a pen and writes a note revealing that his handwriting is in fact the writing of Brian - the dude that left a note on Gwen's garage). You see Gwen. If you mix up the word "Brian" and reconfigure them, they spell "Brain". And my brain coincidentally is located in my dick. And by dick, I'm referring to what doctors call...the penis.

Gwen: (all starry eyed and shit) Take me. In the roughest way possible. Well, start gentle but then get rough after the first minute.

Zibbs: (Zibbs snaps his fingers ala' the Fonz. Al Green's "Tired of Being Alone" starts playing on the stereo. Gwen doesn't notice that it has nothing to do with Zibb's finger snap, but a Zibbs staff member that reached around the corner and turned on the stereo). You my dear, are about to experience something that's ...well, I won't tell you ...I'll show you.

Gwen: (eyes widen then shut - lips pucker - back arches - knowing that she's about to experience something that that only a few select hundreds have) TAKE ME TO THAT LAND!! WHAAAAAAA!

It begins

To be continued

West Chester Blogger Running For President!

I'm a bit shy about it, but Gwen, from the world famous blog, "Everything I Like Causes Cancer" has outed me. I.Am.Running.For.President.

This is breaking news and for how much I hate to steal the fire from Obama, McCain and all the other dopes - the time is now. My campaign slogan: "Dr Zibbs - watch out sucka' -I'm onna get ya!"

See the video here: http://www.inews3.com/topstory.php?id=44722e205a696262737c4f66205468617420426c75652059616b

Orange (Grapefruit) You Glad I Didn't Say Nipple?

When someone mentions an oddity concerning their nippleage in a blog post, the only thing one can do is pester them in the comments area until they get grapefruits and put their visual aids where their mouths (aureoles) are.

(On a side note before I continue: the more my readers mention me, Dr Zibbs, in their blog posts, the more we all win. And the more the terrorists don't win).

To see what the hell I'm even talking about, read this excellent post by my great blogfriend Gwen. To be transported to this land, clicky the words: wacky wafer.

Retard and Slavic Button - The Greatest Gift of All

Could you imagine if you had Nana Zibbs, mixed in her native language then added a dash of a costumed retard - all in the name of promoting my blog? Just like the story of Jesus rising from the ashes - another magical day has arrived.

When I told readers of this blog that they had to help me promote my blog, I didn't even threaten them by implying that I might start charging a subscription fee to read my blog. They took the order at face value and got to work. To see the glorious miracle visit Lots Better Then Your Blog and Everything I like Causes Cancer.

Thank you Falwless and Gwen. If I was indeed magical, I would jump on my magical steed and gallop to pick you both up. I'd walk into your factory jobs and carry you out like on Officer and a Gentleman . I'd then rent out a middle school gym for a ceremony and personally give you ribbons that said, "Best That Blue Yak Promotion Using a Retarded Person and a Slavic Language". Then I'd make you both feel special by throwing a bunch of rose petals on you and rub girly lotions on you (including "sensitive areas"). Next, I'd give you each a very expensive gift basket and then take you to a classy area restaurant - and let you order anything on the menu.

Now I just have to figure out how to get it on my site.