Tongues, Arrows, Bigfoot and Other Random Stuff.

Here are some random thoughts.

1) I hate the new Geico commercial - the one where "someone's watching you".

2) My feet are so big that when I have to cut my toenails I need to soak them in the tub first because they're hard like tortoise shells.

3) Family Highlights Magazine always made me sick. Especially that wooden family.

4) I need to buy some more underwear. This time, I'm only buying black briefs.

5) I hope my dog lives for a long time. He's 10 now and he's really starting to look old.

6) I'd love to have a goat for a pet if I didn't have to take care for it and it didn't smell.

7) When I was about 17 my mom told me that my tongue was connected to the bottom of my mouth when I was born so it had to be snipped. You would never know by looking at me but it still makes me wonder if I'm technically a freak.

8) I haven't shot a bow and arrow since I was younger but I'd love to take it up again someday.

9) My doctor is holding me ransom by not giving me my adderal until I get a physical. Is that ethical? Or even legal?

10) At least 10 people have said to me in the last year, "Wow, you're really getting grey." It doesn't bother me but isn't that like telling a chick her ass is getting fat?

11) When I was a kid, I was really into the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot and all that stuff.

12) I've been thinking a lot lately about how my son will be going to college in two years. And I can't imagine what it will be like without him here all the time.

Six Million Dollar Man Vs Sasquatch. What A Crappy Fight. The Video.

The other week when I showed you Star Trek's Captain James T Kirk fighting the Gorn I said it might have been the worst TV fight ever.

Maybe I was wrong because check out Steve Austin (aka The Six Million Dollar Man) fighting a Bigfoot (aka Sasquatch). And I love Steve Austin's question when he meets up with bigfoot,

"Can you understand me? Are you a man?" He actually sounds like Captain Kirk .

And my second favorite part is when he rips off Bigfoot's arm. Nice.

Mini Sasquatch Woman Spotted At Pennsylvania Wawa.

You're not going to believe this! Are you sitting down? I was just at Wawa* getting a chicken salad sandwich (with provolone, tomato, lettuce and sweet peppers) and I saw a woman that was the size of a miniature Sasquatch.

This Sasquatch lady was huge. I'm 6'2" and she had at least an inch or two on me but she was solid bulk. Not fat. Solid. Like a Bigfoot only a bit smaller - like a mini Bigfoot.

So I discreetly did the old elevator eyes - look up then down at her then up again. Once I got to the top floor again it was confirmed - this lady was of mini Bigfoot size.Then of course I wondered what it would be like to be with a bigfoot lady in the sack (or the cave).

I wonder how many people do her and when they're done they say, "I've got to come clean. I only had sex with you because I'm a major Bigfoot fan."

Actually, I wonder how many people have done that and lived to ask the question. You know, because the mini Bigfoot lady probably killed them and all.

*For safety purposes I'm not going to tell you which Wawa it was. And I also don't want the press hanging out waiting for Sassy. C'mon, give the poor lady a break.

Monster Captured On Film By West Chester Blogger

If you're a reader of this blog, this is a day that you'll never forget. The reason? I have captured, on film a never before seen creature. Some type of dog/beast/monster thing. I took this photo in West Whiteland, PA on Colwyn Terrace. Click the picture below to get a better view of this freakish beast.

A few of you may say that it's a red fox but you're wrong. Look at the tail! What the hell is this thing? And it had the nerve to walk around in broad daylight. At least Sasquatch and Nessie have the decency to hide from humans. This mutant almost wants to be found.

As soon as I can come up with a name for the movie that will feature me capturing it, I'm going straight to the press. So far, a few ideas are:

- Zibbs - the Man Who Tamed Hell (this is only if I can actually capture and tame it).

- One, Two, Three - Gotcha!

- One Brave Man With One HHHHHelluva Net.

I will consider movie names from readers as well as names for the monster.

Bigfoot Related Murder In Chester County?

I must warn everyone that this picture is very disturbing. It's the remains of a bluejay found just 25 feet from the THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. The odd thing is - only the feathers and - are you ready for this? ...a BEAK were found. No bones, no insides - just feathers and beak. As a self taught naturalist I'm ruling out cats, kids, squirrels, bees and the birds of prey with the sharp nails.

The only answer I can think of is what injuns used to call Sasquatch (English for big assed orange gorilla that run like this).

The local injuns around here were the Lenni Lenape. If can muster up the follow through, I just may head down to the Chester County Historical Society to see if any of those books hold any answers.

Bigfoot and Wildboy - Classic 70's TV Krofft Junk Strikes Again

I don't know what got me thinking about this crappy Krofft Brothers show - but here is the begining of Bigfoot and Wildboy. A few notes why the Krofft Brothers were so awful:

1. Since when was Bigfoot able to run 50 miles per hour?
2. And worse, even if Sassy were VERY strong, he would never be able to leap 20 feet in the air as seen in the opening.

I do however give them some credit for the tasty guitar lick at the begining.


..And just a little trivia fact finder for you, Monika Ramirez was in the Brady Bunch episode "the personality kid" where Peter throws himself a party. She is at the party and says: "I don't think you're dull - I think you're very nice."