You've probably seen this little girl doing her self affirmation talk in the mirror but I just needed to post it here. I can't stop imitating it now.
And if you follow me on Twitter, you'll notice she looks like a miniature @JennRuss .
Awww. Look at this little guy from the 60's in this commercial. Kind of reminds me of me.
And look at this sweet toy from Mattel. It's called the V-rooom.
Even as far back as 3rd grade at Mary C Howse Elementary, I remember giving the Valentine's Day cards to girls in my class based on what they looked like. And it was tough because those crappy card packs of 30 back in the 70's didn't give you much to choose from.
So for example the girls I liked got a card with a cute puppy, kitten or rabbit.
The girls I didn't like got the goofier cards like the giraffe with crossed eyes peaking his head through a second story window, "I'll put my neck out for you" or the hog eating a corn cob and rolling in mud, "It's corny but will you be my Valentine?"
I wasn't trying to be mean to the uglier people. They probably didn't even pick up on what I was doing. I guess in some way I was hoping the cute girls would pick up on it. Did everyone else do this or am I the only shallow one?
All I know, when it comes to Valentine's Day and my readers, "I Choo Choo Choose You" ......and you and you. But not you.
OK. First let me say that this post has nothing to do with Falwless's disrespectin' me in comments about my rather lame Andy Dick post. It's more of a concern that her blog Lots Better Than Your Blog is going to turn into a blog all about her cat. I think her name is Blue something. Just to make sure, I had one of my company private dicks make a visit to the dumbster outside of her trailer park last night and what he found was amazing. It's a God Damn brainstorming list of things to post about Blue the cat (see undoctored photo above). Here are a few random freestyle scribblings that were found in her notebook (there were 4 friggin' volumes):
- Something about he's magical like a unicorn, fluffy, love.
- Don't forget when she was peaking out of couch!!
- Hypnotizes dogs and babies with her cuteness.
- Put a crazy hat on her and take pictures.
- Ask vet to test her to see if she is indeed the smartest cat (don't forget to tell him about when I told her to get off tv, then she looked at me, then she got off tv).
- Ask bloggers that are good at photoshop if they can photoshop her into the "Hang on till Friday" poster.
- Something about "pussy" but make it funny, not dirty, but will make reader think. (sidenote: get bikini wax before going to the shore).
- Have contest asking for cutest caption but give McGone the real winner: "Precious Wishes are made of love, rainbows and the love of Blue" (which is the real winner).
- Throw out idea of people buying strands of Blue's hair. If anyone bites, do an A - B price test to see how much I can get. Invest money into aggressive fund so I can buy a tiara made of real diamonds for Blue.
- Get a kitten puppet and start rehearsing that song Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy with Blue and puppet dressed up like army ladies but change Lyrics to Boogie Blue-ey Bugle Cat.
- Start posting threats on other kitten blogs so I become the only kitten blog.
- Look at lease to see if I'm allowed to get 11 more cats. One for each astrological sign.
- Write Blue's name in different fonts (use kitten paws for some of the letters as long as you can understand that it still says Blue)
That's just page one because I'm getting tired of writing. The bottom line is that I'm asking everyone to please go to her blog and knock some sense into her. And of course, feel free to leave comments about what else you think may have been listed in these notebooks.
