Bridesmaid Dresses, Dumb Books and More! Batman Water Pistol.

Some various pictures for your viewing pleasure:

*talking like a ghost* "Puuuut something innnnnn meeeeeeee."

Photographer: No! You on the left. Step back one step! Do you want these pictures to look stupid or nice?

*In Paul Lynde voice*  "I'm not sure if it's more fun to fill or squirt."

Blond dude: (after 10 minute diatribe) You see...being awesome comes down to one thing. And that one thing is accepting Jesus as your personal savior. *random football hits him in the face*

"I don't know how to tell you this so I'll just come out with it. You my dear...are going to be a STAHHHH!"

Lawn Darts. We Hardly Knew Ye. Banned In The US.

Lawn Darts. How we miss thee.

According to this lawn darts website I found, Lawn Darts were banned on Dec 19, 1988. That's right before Christmas! I wonder how many kids were disappointed that year? After the government raided homes and confiscated all of the lawn darts I bet some parents made fake lawn darts out of whatever resources were available in 1988.

But the kids probably weren't fooled. Opening their Lawn "Darz" and pulling out homemade, dull projectiles.

I bet some were just colored paper plates taped to butter knives. What I rip off.
I'm surprised there wasn't an kid uprising. Maybe there was but it wasn't reported.

I remember playing lawn darts when I was a kid. And I also remember kids throwing them at one another. Pretty dangerous if you think about it. But I never knew anyone that got injured by one.

Sounds kind of fishy to me.

Christmas Present Idea. Mattel V-rooom. Toy. 1960's.

Awww. Look at this little guy from the 60's in this commercial. Kind of reminds me of me.

And look at this sweet toy from Mattel. It's called the V-rooom.

Homies, Toy Fair And Things That People Collect. Like Zippo Lighters.

So in my list of 25 things about me I mentioned that Homies were something I used to collect but don't anymore. A few people asked what Homies are. Homies are little plastic "home boys" that were available in gumball machines. I'm not sure if they're available still or not.

Honestly, the sculpting on them used to be great then it looks as though the sculpting was done in China because it was far inferior to the original pieces.

I actually met the creators when I went to the International Toy Fair for work a few years ago. They were really nice guys that came up with a cool idea at the right time.

What do you people collect?

And remember, I still collect zippo lighters so if you're ever looking for a gift for me - that's what I want. Just don't be cheap. You can get them on Ebay. Or maybe even ask your friends and family if they have any that you can have. You might want to try that too. Either way, get me a Zippo.

Don't Have A Terrible, Sad and Heartbreaking Christmas

So I hope you don't have a Christmas like the one I had in 5th grade. (warning: sad story ahead. Get tissues ready and prepare to feel sorry for me).

You see, I had gotten in the habit of sneaking into my parent's attic before Christmas to see what I was getting. So I go up there and there's this huge box. This box was the shape of a refrigerator box but a bit smaller. Probably the size of a casket you'd bury a dwarf in. A little bigger than that. A dwarf wearing platform shoes and an Abe Lincoln hat. Yeah, that big of a box. What? I'm trying to set the scene.

Anyways, on the gigantic box are these kids sitting at a command center. It looked like friggin' NASA, but with 70's kids.

"Ready for blast off Timmy?"

"Over and out Jeffrey."

It was some type of telescope command center. It was at the back of the attic so I was too nervous to climb to the back and see exactly what it was.

So Christmas morning comes and I open my regular presents. The Panapet, Panasonic Ball radio (see picture above). Danny O'Day dummy. Mad Magazine books. But where the hell was my space command center?

So after looking all over I then asked my parents,

Me: Is that it?

Mom: Is that it? Look at all the stuff you got.

Me: What about that huge space center?

Mom: What?

Me: That huge box in the attic with the kids working on those huge machines.

Mom: Oh that. That was your cousin Mark's from years ago. I needed a really big box last time I was at your Aunt Margarete's so she gave me the box. Did you want one of those*?

Me: (close up of confused face - camera zooms in closer to show empty feeling - super close up of eyes turning slightly teary) Oh. (sadness and disappointment suppress deep, deep inside the little boy's soul)

.....And Merry Christmas!

*In way, I guess we all lost on that day. Could you imagine if I had gotten that thing? And I got totally into science? Imagine how space travel, robots and all things sciencey might be different today. We'll never know.

I'm Totally Not Getting You This For Christmas

To this day, sometimes instead of simply saying, "Thanks" like a normal person, I'll say "Thanks for the gumball Mickey". Then I feel like an idiot when I have to explain what the hell I'm talking about.

Those days are over because from now on instead of telling them, I'll just show them. Show them this Youtube video for gumball banks that is.

Here it is.

That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts For Sick People Stockpile

So I was reading Queen Goob's blog, This is my life....so be it, and I came up with an idea for this post. It's called,

The That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts for Sick People Stockpile. You see, most people don't want to actually buy a gift for charity. But what if you didn't have to actually buy one? I'm proposing that we make a list of gifts that MIGHT be given to some sick people and we just send the list to a place where sick people are. Maybe, just maybe, some rich dude will see the list and buy all of the presents for the sick people. Who knows?

And why waste really good things on sick people? They're probably going to just cough on it anyway or something. And it's the thought that counts right? So the crappier the gift the better.

So what you do is:

1) Pick a crappy gift for the That Blue Yak Crappy Gifts For Sick People Stockpile and post it on your site.
2) Pick 5 bloggers that you think might want to open their hearts and pick a crappy gift.
3) Link back to this post.
4) And if you really want to get into heaven, write, "I POSTED A CRAPPY GIFT" in the comments section of this post so we can see the crappy gifts you picked.

So my crappy gift is:


A Hitler doll. I'll make sure to break an arm off so it's less collectible. And the 5 bloggers that I'm choosing to pass this tradition on are:

Queen Goob
Gwen
Scope
Skyler's Dad
E

Merry Christmas!