Do Moms Still Do This? Get That Kettle Going. Ants.

When I was a kid, there always seemed to be groups of ants around. Usually from someone dropping a popsicle or some other food. I remember being fascinated with them. Sometimes I would flick a stick into the group and to see if they'd come back to the food.

Then, my Mom would come out and see the ants and freak out, "Oh no! Get away from the ants! They'll get in the house."

She always claimed that "once you have ants you never get rid of them." But I think she was also afraid people would see ants in our house and think that we're "dirty people."

Then she'd going inside, start the "kettle" - as she called it - until water was boiling. Once I heard the kettle whistling I knew the end was near. She'd then come out and pour the scalding water onto the ants and in a June Cleaverish voice say, "OK. That should do it."

Do people still do this?

BREAKING NEWS: A Ventriloquist Dummy Might Find A New Home! Creepy.

I was at my mom's the other day. She always leaves bags of things for us at the door so we doesn't forget to take the stuff she's either bought for us or wants to get rid of. It's usually cakes and pastries or magazines and coupons.

So I look down on the floor and I see something curled up in a white plastic bag*. Guess what it was? Yup! A Danny O'Day Ventriloquist dummy. Just like the one I used to have when I was a kid.

And I've got to tell you - it looked super creepy curled up in a plastic bag. Like it was a dead body. I should have taken a picture.

So then when I was over my sister's house the other day I was telling her about it and she said it was her son's but it was creeping the kids out so much that she needed to get it out of the house. They were terrified by it. She then said my mom put it in a bag by the door because, "She knows you like things like that".

Excellent. When I get it I'm totally gonna use the Flip camera and film it. Maybe I'll do a blog question and answer with it. What do you think? What is the best use for this figure (ventriloquist jargon for dummies).

*If I took a picture of the dummy in the bag it could be used on the movie poster of a movie I could make about a family that keeps trying to get rid of a haunted dummy. It could be called, "Don't Forget To Take Out The Trash" or "Just Put It In A Bag".