Stars Wars And Getting To Know My Readers. Belt Buckles.

Now I don't want anyone to get nervous but..I'm really trying to get to know my readers. What I'm asking is this - do any of you own and wear one of these?:



And if you don't own and wear one do you WISH you did? Or you're planning to? I'm just curious.

Just be honest. For once.

Hysterical Star Wars Nerd Interviews With Triumph The Insult Dog.

This is just a great interview with Triumph the Insult Dog interviewing Star Trek nerds.

Brilliant stuff here:

Is Anyone A Fan of Jeopardy?

I've been watching Jeopardy for years. For how smart those egg heads are, they sure are stupid when Alex introduces each of them and describes something "interesting" about them or a "funny" story. And the ridiculous banter begins.

Alex: So Ben Greenwood is from Chicago and apparently, Chicago really is the Windy City according to Ben. Tell us about that Ben.

Ben: It's true Alex. I was in downtown Chicago one time and I was late for a meeting and in my frantic scurry, I dropped my briefcase and it was so windy that a lot of the papers started blowing away. It took me almost five minutes to retrieve them all.

Alex: Oh my. I hope you weren't late for the meeting.

Ben: Well, I was but it made for a really funny story that everyone still talks about.

Alex: I'm sure it did.

I swear I've never heard an interesting or amusing story told. Shut up nerds and start playing!

And on the subject of Jeopardy, here's a great Jeopardy website called J! Archive that lets you roll over questions to see the answers. Nice.

Don't Have A Terrible, Sad and Heartbreaking Christmas

So I hope you don't have a Christmas like the one I had in 5th grade. (warning: sad story ahead. Get tissues ready and prepare to feel sorry for me).

You see, I had gotten in the habit of sneaking into my parent's attic before Christmas to see what I was getting. So I go up there and there's this huge box. This box was the shape of a refrigerator box but a bit smaller. Probably the size of a casket you'd bury a dwarf in. A little bigger than that. A dwarf wearing platform shoes and an Abe Lincoln hat. Yeah, that big of a box. What? I'm trying to set the scene.

Anyways, on the gigantic box are these kids sitting at a command center. It looked like friggin' NASA, but with 70's kids.

"Ready for blast off Timmy?"

"Over and out Jeffrey."

It was some type of telescope command center. It was at the back of the attic so I was too nervous to climb to the back and see exactly what it was.

So Christmas morning comes and I open my regular presents. The Panapet, Panasonic Ball radio (see picture above). Danny O'Day dummy. Mad Magazine books. But where the hell was my space command center?

So after looking all over I then asked my parents,

Me: Is that it?

Mom: Is that it? Look at all the stuff you got.

Me: What about that huge space center?

Mom: What?

Me: That huge box in the attic with the kids working on those huge machines.

Mom: Oh that. That was your cousin Mark's from years ago. I needed a really big box last time I was at your Aunt Margarete's so she gave me the box. Did you want one of those*?

Me: (close up of confused face - camera zooms in closer to show empty feeling - super close up of eyes turning slightly teary) Oh. (sadness and disappointment suppress deep, deep inside the little boy's soul)

.....And Merry Christmas!

*In way, I guess we all lost on that day. Could you imagine if I had gotten that thing? And I got totally into science? Imagine how space travel, robots and all things sciencey might be different today. We'll never know.

This is the Ugliest Chick I've Ever Dated

OK, she may look ugly, but this picture was taken with a camera phone so on the ugly scale she's probably half way between Bruce Willis's daughter and the elephant man.

OK, before our customer service lines start ringing off the hook, this is actually the m113 creature from Star Trek - a replica that is. Picture was taken in Vegas a few months at the Las Vegas Hilton. They've got a whole thing called the Star Trek experience . From what I could see in the 3 minutes it took to stroll threw the lobby, I'd say it was "warp speed nerd-ariffic!" (I hereby claim copyright to this expression so please do not repeat).

A little free advice for nerds. If you're planning on taking a lady there, keep cool. Don't quote every Trek line like all of your geek friends. Have a little self respect. Trust me. You are impressing nobody.

The Pick Up Artist - Now Here is Some Good TV

A review by That Blue Yak TV editor Billy Melons.

Let me first start by saying that I'm not a fan of reality TV. It's fake and the characters are annoying. The Pick Up Artist on the other hand can be described in one word: Nerdarifick!

Eight lonely nerds are taught how to "pick up chicks" by master pickup artists. The first episode featured the nerds trying to pick up a lady at a nightclub.

If this is what you call a train wreck then take me to the station because nothing is as refreshing as hearing the following dialog from the 45 year old nerd trying to talk to a 25 year old hottie at a club:

Old Nerd: Any Cajuns here?

Hottie: I am. I'm from New Orleans!

Old Nerd: How did your family do in Katrina?

Hottie: Two died.

Way to go Poindexter!

The pickup artists, namely, "Mystery", "Matador"and "JDog" then go into the club and show em' how it's done. Personally, I think most chicks would be creeped out by JDog but his English accent softened the weird look for the ladies I guess. (I ain't no queer so how would I know?)

Trust me, this is a must see. Tune in tonight VH1 (Monday, Aug 13) at 9:00 Eastern time. You will not be disappointed.

Check out the official site on VH1 by clicking the following word: GEEK