Danny O'Day Ventriloquist Dummy (Figure) Now In My Possession. Creepy.

"Whu r you doi oher dare?"

Sorry, that was me talking "Ventriloquist" - what I was saying was, "What are you doing over there?" You could tell though. Right?

Remember when I told you (probably via Twitter) that I was at my Mom's and there was an unclothed ventriloquist dummy aka Danny O'Day smooshed in a plastic bag by her front door? Which in itself was freaky because it looked like a corpse. A tiny, lipstick wearing corpse.

I asked what it was all about and it turns out it was my nephew's but he was so freaked out by it my sister had to just "get it out of the house".

Well his loss is my gain. My Mom waited to give it to me because she had to get the clothes for it before she gave it to me. You know, because "it just wouldn't be complete"...I guess was the thinking.

So now it's mine. All mine. And I'll have you know that I had this very dummy when I was a kid and was kind of good at using it. I even "studied" ventriloquism. Well, if studying means reading a "book of tips" and practicing in my room that is.

And I've already had great fun freaking my family out with it by doing things like peaking it's head in a room and making it mouth things like, "MUST. KILL." And I've only had it for a day! Imagine what the next 30 years holds?!

*And note that MY Danny O'Day is not dressed like the nerd in the picture above. MY Danny O'Day is all classy with his tux and top hat. Eat that bitches!

Monkey Puppet Creates Blog Hilarity

I hope you're prepared because I just found something on the Youtube that has me completely cracking up. I know I'm going to have to watch this over and over again.

Am I so out of it that I've never heard about this Blog Monkey or am I so in it that I've just discovered this and YOU are the one that's out of it? Please rate it for funniest on scale of 1 - 10. I give it 9.5 TBY stars.

Idea I'm Considering For Frazer Hoover Vacuum Store

Last week while getting my fix of lobster bisque at Zoup in Frazer, I was walking by the Hoover Vacuum store and look at this little character that caught my eye. I'm totally going back there because could you imagine if you put this guy - lets call him Hubert the Hoover Guy - OUTSIDE of the shop instead of INSIDE the shop????? Then you could use a Mr Microphone to totally drive sales INTO your store. Here are some of the notes I scribbled on a napkin about it:

- Every half hour, put on a five minute "show".
- Offer to do the show until the workers can do the imitation of Hubert the correct way - it's like: "Whutch dish shing?" (that's him saying, "what's this thing") - try it -say it aloud. There you go. See what I mean?
- Rig something up so when he talks, you can shake him a little bit so it looks realistic when he's talking. Consider hiding in a big vacumm cleaner box and cutting a hole so you can shake him without being seen. Put a sticker on the box that says, "Special Delivery" and the correct date. This way, when people see the date, it won't give things away.
- Consider rope gates around him so people don't get too close to the big box.
- Say things to people like, "That trash can over there is dirty but we can vacuum your home up and make it clean" or something like that - I'm still working on that one.

Anyway, I'm gonna look stupid if I just walk in there and give them that idea but I was thinking maybe you guys could call the store. Just say, "Hey that puppet should be on the outside of the store". There's no way they'll do it on their own because you don't just throw it out there willy nilly and make things happen. It's a daunting task. But then when I walk in and explain that I've done all of the creative leg work (see list above), then they might bite.

I'm not getting too excited but if I could get this off the ground regionally, I don't think I'm too out of line saying that this could be a full national rollout. Wouldn't it be nice to be on the ground floor of this thing? OK then, start dialing and let me know what they say.