West Chester, PA
The good news is that THAT BLUE YAK has an opening for Finance Director. Please see job requirements on http://www.monster.com/ and send resume to HR Director Samuel McGrath.
The bad news is that THAT BLUE YAK Finance Director was killed horribly this weekend in a brutal shark attack in Sea Isle City, New Jersey. The terrible mishap happened off of the 54th street beach. Thankfully, the company will receive a quick check from their insurance company for their destroyed wave runner as the horrible mishap was captured on video:
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
West Chester, PA
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Simpsons movie has topped the weekend box office pulling in an impressive $71.9 million. The huge payday has sparked concern that other cartoon creators may now be considering the big screen as a vehicle. Just to make sure, angry mobs have been surrounding Cathy creator Cathy Guisewite's home for the last three hours.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
A group of heterosexual men packed their bags and flew to Reno yesterday for what they think will be another extended weekend of beer, cards and farting on each other. What they don't know is that the group's organizer, Shawn McClure- (father of two and living a lie) is about to make his move and "try some stuff".
The tradition of an extended weekend with the boys started about 10 years ago and was informally named "YAG" (Young Arrogant Guys). Good time has been had by all at these drink and laugh fests. Last year however, several of the guys started to think Shawn was getting "a bit weird".
Greg Green, one of the holdouts this year explains,
"We're always goofing around and making gay comments to each other but Shawn always took it a bit far. It's hard to explain, but it's like when you're at a urinal and there's some dude next to you and you KNOW something ain't right. It's a gut feeling."
The additional non attendees this year, Jimmy Steinberger, Mike Polaski , Ted Taylor and Len Carnes gathered a few months ago and exchanged stories. Let's just say that all the pieces fell into place. The following is a condensed list that was compiled from a free style brainstorming session entitled, "reasons Shawn McClure is probably gay":
- "He came up with the name YAG - spelled backwards is 'GAY' ."
- "I woke up one night and he was standing over my bed, applying chap stick and whispering, 'That's it, that's it'".
- "We went to a canyon to shoot pistols one year and he kept coming up behind me and putting his arms around my body trying to show me how to hold the gun - you know, the way you do with a chick if you're trying to teach her to golf."
- "Whenever there's a guy on TV that's a guy that chicks are into, he looks at you and says something like, 'Zac Efron is such a pretty boy, don't you think....Mike, Mike, hey Mike....Mike don't you think that Zac Efron is one of those pretty boys?' Almost like he's throwing feelers out there."
- "One time, Rick was walking by with a towel on and Dan grabbed him and joking around was like, 'C'mon Rick you know you want it'. We were all cracking up but when I looked over at McClure, he was eating this rib and just staring...slowly eating his last rib. I'm no lip reader but he was slowly saying, 'KNOW....YOU....WANT....IT'. Then slowly went back to eating the rib. It was like the frickin' gay Hannibal Lechter or something."
- "One time he was reading Sports Illustrated - but it was UPSIDE DOWN! When he went to the bathroom I walked over and behind the Sports Illustrated was the American Girl Magazine. And this is where it gets weird. I think he actually brought it there. The subscription address was scribbled out, but I'm 99% sure that it was his work address"!
- "He was putting sun tan lotion on Mike's back one one time - which sorry Mike, you may be gay too - and it was like a God damn ritual. First, he stood behind Mike and put the lotion on his hands but kind of rubbing his wrist together a bit -almost like he was about to savor something that he's been waiting a LONG TIME FOR. He then starts putting the lotion on and the look on his face is kind of like the look Rick gets when he's eating something really good. It's like he's holding back saying, this feels SOOOOO good'. Then about 30 seconds into the rubbing he leans over a little closer to Mike and says, 'Wow, you sure are tense'. And to put icing on the cake, he has his sunglasses dangling out of his mouth the whole time."
- One time we found a pair of underwear in Rick's kitchen drawer that Rick uses as a pot holder - which is a whole different story in itself, but the next day - that underwear was missing. I was like, 'Hey, what happened to that underwear?" Just then, Ted walks in and says, 'Who the hell was putting things in their car at 4:30 in the morning?". I look over at Shawn and he looked guilty as hell. He did the ole eye shift to the right - then to the left - then said, 'Hey what's that over there?' as if he was looking at something in the other room. He then quickly got up and left the room. It was pretty freaky. I think he knew I was on to him."
The YAG weekend continues until Monday. We wish you all well.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
The University of Washington has revealed that walking on two legs is easier than walking on four - according to the National Academy of Sciences. (see story by clicking on the following word: banana ).
According to researchers, walking on two feet uses 3/4 less energy.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
It's July 6 and another unfunny movie is now in theaters. It's name, License to Wed. Without actually seeing the film, That Blue Yak's movie man Franklin Yearsley will list his top "supposed to be funny" lines that will probably happen in the movie.
1) Robin William (in Southern accent):
"Y'all in love but this just ain't gonna fly (turns head as if speaking to wife) MAW..GET MY SHOTGUN" (then, big smile and talking in regular accent) I am a kidder.
2) Robin Williams (in feminine, gay accent)
"Honey you want to say 'I Do" but those shoes with that dress is saying 'I don't'. "
3) Fat side kick kid (while rolling eyes):
"The Lord sure does travel in mysterious ways."
4) Jim from the Office (almost cursing but then sees Robin Williams):
"HOLY shhhhh........shammy...holy shimmy..has anyone seen my holy shimmy? I...was about to wash my car."
5) Fat side kick kid:
"I told them (shrugs shoulders) but they never listen"
6) Jim from the Office:
"Is it too late to convert to Judaism?"
7) Jim from the Office
"In the name of the father, son....CHECK PLEASE!"
8) Robin Williams (in John Wayne accents)
"You're gonna meet me at confessional at sun down partner and don't forget to bring you sins."
9) Jim from the Office (in confessional confessing sins for first time but unknowingly talking to fat side kick kid instead of Robin Williams")
"Well, I guess there was that time that I snuck into the Cubs game. Wait, does that count as a sin?
10) Fat side kick kid (hiding in confessional)
"For an angel, I sure do feel like a little devil."
That is all.