West Chester Artist Strikes Again. Exton Dollar Store, Barnes Foundation.

Remember a few posts back when I showed you the collage art I did and recently found? Well I found two more masterpieces. Look at her. I give you: "Must Kill Nun."

A few years ago I was at the Dollar Store in Exton and came upon a shelf full of nun figurines that were marked down to 25 cents each. You read that right. 25 cents each! Per nun! Well five dollars later and I was the proud owner of 20 nun figurines. I know. I thought the Indians selling Manhattan for a few trinkets was a scam. I had to feel sorry for the Exton Dollar store. They kinda got taken. They probably fired the person who marked them incorrectly. Hey. Ain't my problem.

Well when I got home I got to work and modified a few in the fashion that you see above. I even sold a few on Ebay for ten dollars. And though some lucky collectors were able to buy a valuable heirloom for a ridiculous price I decided to stop production. Here's a closer look at the face:

She's a beauty huh?

I also found a sculpture I did. I call this piece "Mr Toof." Here it is:

Mr Toof is not only a hand sculpted piece of art but he's also a reminder that helps teach kids about tooth decay. You sit him on the sink so when kids are brushing he can watch the kids. Watching. Waiting. Learing.
But the kids who get this have to have REALLY rich parents because my selling price for this piece for 1.3 million dollars. Now I know that sounds like a lot but if you guys all pitch in maybe you could take turns with it. It's up to you.

Let me know though because if I get no takers I'm probably going to donate it to a museum. Probably to the Barnes Foundation in Philly. I'm not sure yet.

CONTEST! Dead People. Classy Lawns.

WE'VE GOT AN IMPORTANT CONTEST HAPPENING OVER HERE.

I saw one of those "Lordy Lordy - look who's Forty" lawn things the other day. You know, where it's a big wooden cow then 40 little cows. Hmm....real clever.

They also have them when you have a baby with a bunch of little storks.

Well I have a better idea. It's probably really uncomfortable when a loved one dies and you have to tell all of your neighbors. Sure, you can go door to door and tell them or leave flyers in their mail boxes but do you know how time consuming that is? You're going to be plenty busy deciding if your loved one is only worth getting carnations for the funeral and searching your home for any hidden money the deceased may have stashed away. Greedy bastard.

Wouldn't it be much easier to display crappily painted wooden lawn art out front to announce that someone died? Sounds easy to me. Here are a few ideas:

- Grim Reaper running after person with caption, "You can run but I'm gonna catch you!"

- Miniature coffins.

- Angel, Devil and huge wooden question mark. Painted on the question mark are the words, "You decide". Maybe there can be a ballot box so neighbors can decide if they think the person is going to heaven or hell.

- Cute baby holding up finger with caption, "He was only dis old". (Sure, the baby might have 73 fingers but the whimsy of the piece will help to cheer people up during this difficult time).

These are just a few I came up with. I need to think of some more. Do you guys have any ideas?

This is where the contest part comes in. I will write, "(insert your name here) won the contest!" in the comments area. You can then print out my congratulatory comment and proudly frame it in your home.

Good luck!