Ugly Christmas Sweaters. How Do People Not Know? Walmart.

Do you know when you Google: "Ugly Christmas Sweater" or even "Christmas Sweater Walmart" you get pages and pages of people making fun of ugly Xmas sweaters?

So I ask you this: Why are there still people (mostly women over 40) wearing tacky ass Xmas sweaters? How don't they know? It's like people that have mullets. Don't they know that everyone thinks they look like a fool? I think there should be a website where you can submit a photo of yourself and what you wear and professionals can tell you if you look like an asshole.

And I would like to see video of people picking out these sweaters. Holding them up to themselves. Turning sideways. Looking in the mirror. "I think there should be seven reindeer. Six just looks weird." Do they walk to the counter to pay with pride? Excited to wear the sweater? Bragging to the cashier, "It was only $12,99."

And on the subject of Xmas and having no taste I'll give you a tip for decorating: Less is more. And inflatables? Don't put them on your lawn like this dude in my neighborhood that has ten of them. Snoopy, Santa, turning carousel... Knock it off!

How I Used To Torture People With Secret Santa. Brooke Shields.

Does anyone do the Secret Santa at work? We used to do it and I would love to torture people with it.

I would torture people because there were a few women in the department that would practically break into tears when their present would get stolen. As if they couldn't just go out and spend $15 on the bottle of wine that was just taken from them.

So every time a really good gift was revealed and one of the crybabies got it, we would pressure the next person to take it away, "Come on Jill. You HAVE to take that bottle of wine...Come on...do it! Do you know how good that wine is?..The next present could be junk!"

One year my gift was a little thing I liked to call,"Things From My Garage". It was a wrinkled, brown paper bag full of various things like nails, sandpaper, etc. Basically....things from my garage.

Most of the women were like, "Come on! You can’t do that! That's not fair!" But I'd say, "Sure it is, have you priced nails and sandpaper lately? They're very expensive. May I suggest re-gifting it to perhaps a brother or Uncle that is handy?"

At the end of everything I did reveal that there was cash hidden in at the bottom of the box. I forget if it was $40 or $50 but it was way more than the limit that was supposed to be used for gifts. You should have seen the look some of the faces. Oh the regret.

Another year, knowing that one woman in the department had an obsession with Brooke Shields, I put a few random things in the box including a book about Brooke Shields and I forged a signature. I even went online and copied the Brook Shields signature because the woman in the department actually owned things that had Brooke's autograph on it. But the funny thing is that she didn't know I knew about her obsession because she was embarrassed about it so it was supposed to be this big secret. But everyone knew.

So my present gets picked and the person is going through the random things and says, "A Brooke Shield's book? That's weird."

Everyone is kind of rolling their eyes and I say, "Look inside. It's autographed."

Well the Brooke Shields fan's eyes light up and she's like,"Can I see that?" But she's trying to play it cool. She looks at the autograph and it's obvious on her face that
"this thing is real!" Like shes an antiques roadshow expert or something. She looks around to play it cool in the way someone would flip through a book and
find $500 hidden in it. You know what Ann? It’s friggin’ Brooke Shields. Nobody cares.

Well she finally ends up with the Zibbs Potpouri box. All excited and shit. I did feel kind of bad so at the end of the whole thing I told her it was a fake autograph. You know, so she didn't try and get it valued and find out it was worthless. As if the real thing would be worth anything anyway. Right? Right?

Aqua Team Frosty The Red Nosed Snowman - Couldn't Stop Laughing

Someone called me on my cell today and I was listening to this on WXPN and I couldn't stop laughing at this.

It's stupid but I couldn't stop laughing. It's Frosty the Red Nosed Snowman.

Gift Cards, Craft Brew, Deals and Chester County

I'm not sure if I'll be doing much Christmas shopping on Black Friday or even this weekend but in case I do, has anyone heard of any great deals at stores or online? I'm like one of the lady's when it comes to finding the ultimate deals on things.

If you're in the Chester County area, I know that Kildare's Irish Pub is selling half price gift cards until 7 tonight. I'll be picking up one of those for myself. Now if I'm doing my math correctly, that means that if I use the card during their happy hours I'll be getting $1.50 craft brew pints. Uhh huhh.