The First Time You See Someone Naked. Totally Nude. That's The Best.

I was reading on someone's blog the other day about the first time you see someone naked. It is one of the best things ever. Ever. You pick up some chick - then you're back at her place or yours. Or in a car. And then the clothes come off.

Oh man.

Nothing like that first visual. And it would always go through my head, "Aww man this is great!" You've got to play it cool but you never get over the fact that you've succeeded in getting someone naked. And sometimes it was someone you met a few hours earlier. It's like heaven on earth.

Believe it or not there are only maybe 2 or 3 chicks that I'd be really embarrassed about if anyone saw them. Most were pretty good looking. In fact, I just found a picture online of some girl I used to have sex with and she was pretty hot. And better yet, the picture is from the 80's which was when I was with her. AND, it's a picture of her lying on a bed and looking all sexy eyed. I swear to God. I would post the picture but that would be wrong. See - I do have some morals.

Sometimes it was surprising how different a body looked once nude. I was never a fan of super skinny chicks. I don't like feeling tons of bones*. And if I can put my "playmate hat" on for a minute, the other "turn offs" for me from days of old were excess large moles and the old fur bikini - if you know what I mean.

So have any of you people ever gotten someone nude and you were like, "WHAT THE HELL?" I'm sure some of you ladies have some good stories. Like the dude had a real big one or a real small one. Come on. You can tell me. And there's got to be someone that has a story where the person says something like, "And before we do this, I need to tell you that I only have seven toes." Or something similar.

*One time a friend of mine was tripping and he was having sex with a really skinny girl. He said he looked at her and all of a sudden he saw a skeleton! Frightening.

The Creepy Film About Your Changing Body

Guys, I need you to go and check the oil in your car. I need to have a private word with my lady readers. ....are they gone? Good.

OK ladies, It's wonderful being a girl. But did you know that the uterus is no larger than the size of a pear? Or that the ovaries are no larger than walnuts? And that fallopian tubes are not an amusement ride? It's true. The problem is that when the movie you were shown in 5th grade was playing, you weren't listening. Were you?

I think we all need a refresher course*. And coming from an anonymous blogger that you've never met that claims to be a doctor, I think you can trust me when I say, "Please watch this creepy film about menstruation that was made in the 1960's to teach gals about their changing bodies." Then when a gal pal ask you if it's OK to wash your hair while menstruating, you'll feel confident about giving them the correct answer.



*Although this film says it's safe to bowl while menstruating, this film was made in the 1960's so bowl at your own risk.