Global Warming Minus Less Snow Equals Less People Falling.

The one downside of global warming - if it's even true - is that there's less snow. And less snow mean me seeing less people slip and fall. And that makes my heart sad.

Here are three falls that have happened to me.

Age 4 - I was sleeping at my Nana's house and she said that my feet were dirty so I needed to roll up my pajama pants and rinse my feet off before bed. When I was in the tub I decided that I wanted to try and surf on the soap. Just in case you want to try, it's pretty much impossible. Ahhhhhh!

Age 23 - Leaving a Halloween party with my date (I was dressed as a woman), we run into some people I know that were coming into the party. I started hamming it up by doing a really white trash dance, pulling up my skirt and doing the old hands pulling up the hair move. I must have slipped on the high heel and my knee popped out of its' socket and I fell backwards, breaking a wooded fence and a $300 camera I had borrowed from my date's bother. WHOOOOOAAAA!

Last year - My daughter left the conditioner bottle open in the tub so while I was taking a shower, the dangerous, slippery fluid was seeping out of the bottle. Like a carefree cowboy unaware that a rattlesnake is at his ankles, I turn off the shower and reach for by towel. Still whistling my tune.....YAAAHHHHH-NOOOO!

I fall halfway out of the tub. When the fall was over my legs were in the tub, the top of my body was on the outside of the tub. I had a black and blue mark the size of a Frisbee.

(Trumpet with plunger over it) WA WA WA.

Care to share any spills you clumsy asses took?

Various Things That You Shall Now Read

So here are a few tidbits - or should I say Zidbits..or Zibb-bitts...nevermind. Here's a bunch of random stuff:

I'm special - Candy at the blog Candy's Daily Dandy just gave me A BFF Card. It's stands for Blogging Friends Forever. If I ever meet her in person I'm going to pull it from my wallet and ask her if I can redeem it for one slow dance. The song? Dream Weaver.

Choices - If I ever met anyone at a dinner party and they told me that they were a ventriloquist, I wouldn't be able to control myself from laughing in their face. After of course I say, "No I'M a ventriloquist" - and I pick up a sponge, fold it in half and perform a few bits.

Girlie Side - I like to sit in the bath and read. I never light candles but I do bring a stack of books and mags to read. I also have a scotch, wine or beer to sip on. One time my manly next door neighbor called me right before I got in the tub. We talked briefly and then the phone went dead. I thought the conversation was over so I just got in the tub without calling him back. Next thing, I hear him at the window yelling,

"Zibbs! Zibbs!...Zibbs?" (he thought something was wrong with me, like I fell, and came over to see if I was OK). I peak my head toward the window and say,

"Sorry Greg, I couldn't hear you. I was in just taking a bath." As the word were coming out of my mouth I felt very gay.

Contest - Don't forget it's not too late to enter the That Blue Yak Google This Contest. I've already received a few pictures. Camera phone pictures will be accepted so there are no excuses. You will regret it because there are prizes. And unfortunately, there will also be some tears.

Freaks and Geeks - It's now on DVD and it's not only hysterical but the closest thing to what the early 80's were really like.

Phillies - The Phillies parade is Friday at noon. Can't decide whether to go or not.