Andy Rooney, I Hope You're Sitting Down For This. Brezhnev Laughing From Grave.

I'm not sure if Andy Rooney reads my blog or not but if he does, I have a message. TRIM YOUR EYEBROWS!

Seriously, what is going on there? Do you think his family at least has mentioned something to him? Is it some sort of pride to have brows like that?

If there is something so ridiculous on me like that I would hope my loved ones would tell me.

Jeez.

Blogger Shows Video To Explain Eagle Dream.

Remember the other day when I was telling you about the dream I had and I was hanging out with these giant eagles? Well check this out:



OK, did you see that goat that the eagle picked up? Now look at that goat's head. That's the size of ME in the dream - compared to the eagle. I told you it was a weird dream.

I'm serious.

All The Single Ladies Fat Guy. That's Actually Fat There!

So many of you have already seen this fatso dude dancing to Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies". And when I was watching the video again I was thinking, at least the dude has a big package.

But he doesn't. When he turns sideways, the thing that I thought was his package is really his belly flab. Or as a friend of mine used to refer to it - his "birth pile". Why do fat dudes always have small ones? Who knows?

Anyways, the video is kind of entertaining. He's got some pretty good facial expressions. And by good - I'm mean embarrassing. For him.

Sex With A Vegetable. Yes, There Are Books On This Perv Stuff.

So one of my perv readers sent me this photo they took when they were at a bookstore. It's a picture of homemade sex toys that they found in a book. This particular photo shows the steps of how a dude can have sex with a pumpkin. And I like how you're supposed to heat it up. You've got to admit it is ingenious.

OK freaks - out with your stories. Who has had sex with a pumpkin or something weird like this. OR - have you ever caught anyone in the act? Hmmmmm?

Wow! I Can't Believe This Christmas Morning!

A plane? Seriously everyone. You went way overboard. I don't know who organized it but when I went out in my front yard this morning and there was a That Blue Yak plane? I couldn't believe it. Thanks!

Now I'm not trying to be an ingrate but fuel is very expensive. Are there gift cards hidden somewhere for jet fuel that I should know about?