Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Various Nicknames I've Given. Llammas



I’m a giver of nicknames. And nicknames that have stuck. Even if the person doesn’t know they’ve got a nickname. Here are a few nicknames and their meaning:

Flare – for my friend that would get pissed off all the time and his nostrils would Flare.

Glamour Boy – For my friend. At senior week he was trying to impress a girl so he got up earlier to go jogging with her. He was wearing a red shirt and red shorts and he had chapstick on his lips that made them look shiny. I’m like, “Look at you. You’re like a Glamour Boy.”

Compressor Head – this chick in college that looked like her face was smooshed in a vice-like compressor machine.

Steam Box – This dude in college that was so skinny and scrawny that he looked like a guy in the cartoons that used to be really fat but then goes into one of those steam boxes that they had at gyms in the 30’s. He stays in too long and becomes super skinny.

Llamma – a friend of mine that I thought looked like a llama because he had a long neck. And whenever I would say llama I would follow it by saying, “The priiiiiide of Peru.”

Grandpa – My friend Steve (comments on this blog under CrotchPains) because I think he used to dress like a Grandpa.

I swear there are a hundred more. If I were near my yearbooks I could rattle some more off but I’m not.

But on another nickname related note there was a kid in Junior High that gave himself the nickname ‘Wizard”. Pretty lame when you do that. We knew that because he had a jean jacket and drawn in pen on the back was the picture of a wizard hat and it said, “Wizard.” Or maybe it was the whole body of a wizard. I forget.

He thought he was badass but he wasn’t.

My friend Flare taunted him all the way through high school when his wizard stage was supposed to be long gone. He’d see him in the hall and say, “Hey everyone. It’s Wizard! Are you gonna cast any spells wizard.”

Wizard would just look at Flare and flip him the bird.

Moral: Never nickname yourself Wizard.

17 comments:

Cupcake said...

Wizard it is then!
Cupcake
xo
www.fashion-tarts.blogspot.com

Peggy said...

I would like one of your world famous nicknames please...

Moooooog35 said...

I had a friend in college nicknamed - what I thought - was "Pepe" (pe-pay).

When I asked why everyone called him that, I was corrected that the pronunciation of Pe-pay was for the French word, "Pepere," meaning grandfather.

Because Pepe had Pepere tits. Big, long saggy gynecomastia like old men get.

Poor bastard.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Huh... Is Glamour Boy the older version of saying someone is metro? :) if you weren't given a nickname was one cool or not? I couldn't tell by your examples...

Jessica said...

I hesitate to ask if you have nicknames for your blog buddies...

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I love giving nicknames. I think it's mostly why I blog, just so I can nickname the heck out of people.

I'll have to cross off "nickname myself Wizard" off my list of 2011 goals. Damn.

Lorraine

Dr Zibbs said...

Cupcake - welcome to my blog!

Peggy - I'll think of one.

Shelle - Both cool and not cool get nicknames.

Jessica - Once I wrote a whole post nicknaming all my followers that wanted a nickname. I'll find the link and tweet it.

Mrs. Crotchpains said...

I could be wrong, but didn't Grandpa also get his nickname because he wore boxers way before his time while all you immature boys were still wearing white briefs?

Dr Zibbs said...

Mrs Crotchpains - You might be right. But I think it was also the cap and the windbreaker. But who knows? I did tend to drink a bit back then.

(Back then)

Venom said...

Jebus Cripes, there was a guy who insisted that he WAS a wizard at my high school.
Seriously, he went around threatening to cast hexes on anybody who pissed him off.

Needless to say, high school was hell for that kid.

Scope said...

I think the best nickname I've ever given someone is "Skippy". He hated it with a passion that burned HOT.

He quit work shortly there after.

sybil law said...

So Count Cuntula is still good?

yogurt said...

I've always been envious of people who were given nicknames. But reading your list? Be careful what you wish for.

TC said...

Wizard? It hurts to even read that. It's like something from an 80's movie actually so now I think I kind of like it. In an 80's way.

TrinaLikesWine said...

I used to call my sister Ostrich because she was long, lanky and quite honestly ran much like the species...."Priiide of Peru!". I laughed out loud!

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil Law - I love that one!

Chris said...

Am I the ONLY one that wasn't hoping for a better explanation for Compressor Head chicks name?