Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Jimi Hendrix. Exton Sam Goody. Putting On The Gorilla Suit



My Dad is the type of guy that doesn’t take shit from anyone. Like if you’re standing in a long line at a store and there’s only one register open, and everyone is looking at each other like, “this is ridiculous”… he’s the type that walks to the front of the line and says, “Excuse me. But I’ve standing in line for five minutes. I’m going to need you to stop what you’re doing, call your manager and get another person on a register.”

And everyone is all, "I wish I had the balls to do that." Or if someone butts in line? Yeah right buddy. My Dad is the one that will tell you to get to the back.

So flashback to when my brother was in 5th grade. My brother buys a Jimi Hendrix book. So my Dad is flipping through the book and sees a plaster cast of Jimi Hendrix’s junk in it. He’s like, “What the hell is this? You’re not going to have this book!” To my brother. “You’re going to bring it back.”

“But I don’t have a receipt.”

“Then I’LL bring it back!

“Dad, they won’t take it back without a receipt.”

“Oh they’ll take it back alright.”. My Dad takes the book and drives to the record store. Sam Goody I believe it was. Exton Mall.

Dad gets into the store and says to cashier, “I’d like to return this book but I don’t have a receipt.”

“Sorry sir, I can’t exchange it if you don’t have a receipt.” The lady says.

“Do you have kids?”

“Uh..yes?”

“Well let me ask you this: turn to page 112. Would you want your 5th grader looking at that?

The woman looks at the picture, turns beat red and opens the register.

Mission accomplished.

*Author's note: This is what my Dad called, "Putting on the gorilla suit ."

24 comments:

Venom said...

I honestly think your dad is my dad's brother. There were 6 or 7 of them, one could've been easily 'misplaced' (or sold).

Was there are black market for robust white male babies in the 1930s & 40s, do you think?

Sometime I'll write about the time my dad stomped a weasel to death. So, there's that to look forward to...

sybil law said...

I must be your father's daughter. That makes you my brother!!

Anonymous said...

Gorillas always be puttin down art. The Plaster Casters fared no better than any other artists.

Peggy said...

My Mom was the SAME way! Although it mortified me when I was younger (actually still sometimes to this day), I do wish I had more of that in me.

mhawf said...

I think that's why your brother is with me... I can put on the gorilla suit and I think that's why your dad likes me.

Son of a Thomas said...

That's what kind of dad I want to be.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Somehow asking if he had blue balls seems inappropriate.

網站設計 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

抓姦 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

偵探社 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

尋人 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

討債 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

討債 said...

Thank you, that was extremely valuable.

法律諮詢 said...

hooray, your writings on theater and writing much missed!

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil -I don't want to be your brother. Iffff...you know what I mean.

TrinaLikesWine said...

Just ordered that book on Amazon. I'm intrigued by page 112.

Johnson said...

My old man was the exact same way. To an embarrassing not-even-related-to-customer-service way. I remember him telling parents in restaurants that their loud children were being obnoxious. Crazy embarrassing at the time, but now that I think about it, pretty awesome. I mean, we were all thinking it.

網站設計 said...

Very interesting, thank you for sharing!

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Mrs. Crotchpains said...

I haven't even read the post yet, I'm just cracking up over the picture. Is that you in a gorilla suit running through a field?

Mrs. Crotchpains said...

You're dad's awesome. A man who knows how to get the job done.

Dr Zibbs said...

Crotchy - Old Man Zibbs puts up with s%&t from nobody.

Mrs. Crotchpains said...

That's what I aspire to be. A woman who doesn't take shit from anyone. I embarrass Mr. Crotchpains sometimes because I don't back down easily if I think I'm right. Have you inherited that from your dad?

Chelle said...

I've witnessed my mother tearing up a traffic ticket and shaming the officer by throwing it at him and driving off in a huff.

And she gets away with this. I think because the officer is afraid to see her in court.