My Dad is the type of guy that doesn’t take shit from anyone. Like if you’re standing in a long line at a store and there’s only one register open, and everyone is looking at each other like, “this is ridiculous”… he’s the type that walks to the front of the line and says, “Excuse me. But I’ve standing in line for five minutes. I’m going to need you to stop what you’re doing, call your manager and get another person on a register.”
And everyone is all, "I wish I had the balls to do that." Or if someone butts in line? Yeah right buddy. My Dad is the one that will tell you to get to the back.
So flashback to when my brother was in 5th grade. My brother buys a Jimi Hendrix book. So my Dad is flipping through the book and sees a plaster cast of Jimi Hendrix’s junk in it. He’s like, “What the hell is this? You’re not going to have this book!” To my brother. “You’re going to bring it back.”
“But I don’t have a receipt.”
“Then I’LL bring it back!
“Dad, they won’t take it back without a receipt.”
“Oh they’ll take it back alright.”. My Dad takes the book and drives to the record store. Sam Goody I believe it was. Exton Mall.
Dad gets into the store and says to cashier, “I’d like to return this book but I don’t have a receipt.”
“Sorry sir, I can’t exchange it if you don’t have a receipt.” The lady says.
“Do you have kids?”
“Well let me ask you this: turn to page 112. Would you want your 5th grader looking at that?
The woman looks at the picture, turns beat red and opens the register.
*Author's note: This is what my Dad called, "Putting on the gorilla suit ."