5 Things I Love and 5 Things I Hate.

Here are 5 things I love followed by 5 things I hate.

Love

1) Onions - I couldn't imagine cooking without them.

2) Dining/drinking Alfresco - there's nothing I love more than having a few drinks while watching people. I seriously love this.

3) Traveler dress shirts from Jos A Bank. Best everyday dress shirts ever.

4) The wind - nothing better than a warm day and the winds blowing. For some reason it gives me a calming feeling.

5) My vegetable garden - I expand my "The That Blue Yak Garden of Hope" every year. I can't wait to get it going this year. Lettuce will be first in there.

Hate

1) Canned beets -the smell of them can make me puke. I haven't had them since I was a kid.

2) Paying for greeting cards - I've been having my kids make their own greeting cards for years. And everyone loves them a lot better than some of the crappy cards that kids usually give to people.

3) People that don't look me in the eye.

4) Brian Secrest -Other than him being able to speak clearly, I don't understand the appeal.

5) Women that talk non stop about their kids. Telling people every detail. Give it a break will you? Nobody cares.

I've Got A Confession To Make About When I'm Alone

I admit it. I often do things when I'm by myself just to crack myself up. I'll sing. I'll dance. I'll talk in a weird voice while I'm cooking, pretending that I'm on a goofy ass cooking show. For a half hour. It's actually entertaining.

The only downside is when you get busted. Remember that story I told you about when I worked at the Lions Share Restaurant in 9th grade and someone had an accident in one of the stalls and they tried to get me to clean it up? Well, I got busted there for doing something really embarrassing.

They asked if anyone wanted to make some extra money on a Sunday by coming in and buffing the floors. I was there first thing Sunday morning and the cook, the only other person there, showed me how to use the device. It was one of these huge machines that when you turn the handle slightly, the whole mechanism turns by itself. It pretty much pulls you. The picture above is a miniature version of the industrial grade power horse I was using.

So I'm back in the very last room and I'm getting bored so I lean it all the way to the left and the thing practically turns me so I'm spinning in a circle. Hey this is fun. Then I stop it and make it spin to the right.

I take a quick peak down the corridor and the coast is clear so I continue goofing off. I must have been day dreaming because next thing you know, I'm imagining that I'm on in a sitcom like I Love Lucy or a movie and I'm in a Jerry Lewis voice going, "Oh Lady...Oyyyy...Oh stop this thing I want to get off." And I'm working this thing, it's hitting the walls, it's going full speed and then just then,

Cook: (walks into room and has look of disgust) What....?

Me: (startled like I just realized a bear is about to maul me) I thought!..Uh.....! Um.

That was pretty much my statement. What the hell can you really do in a situation like this? Exactly.