Gypsy Foot Care Video Played AGAIN On Blog. Pa Salons and Spas.

Seeing the That Blue Yak merchandise on my last post got me thinking about the early days of my blog. And that got me thinking about my video for the Gypsy Foot Care Factory.

It's an original video made by me - Dr Zibbs. I post it up on my famous blog about every few months not just to torture my older readers but to treat my new readers who may have never seen it. And listen to one of my crazzzzy voices in that video. It doesn't even sound like me - does it?

What do you think?

Highway Shrines - The Second Worst Part About Car Crashes

Not to be a snob but why does every highway shrine where someone dies in a car crash need to be tacky?

I'd like to have at least three people step forward - that have taste - to volunteer to be shrine keepers in case - God forbid - I die in a terrible, fiery car crash. Here are some tips for what I was thinking:

- No plastic, no stuffed animals, and no cardboard allowed around the shrine.

- I don't want anything wrapped in tinfoil.

- When making signs, lightly write out the message before painting it so you don't run out of space on the right and you have to squoose the letters together to make them all fit.

- Two large eyes should be cast of bronze and fitted with blown glass. The eyes should be placed at the top of the shrine. There should be a sign at the bottom of the shrine stating, "DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY INTO THE EYES!" The font used for this warning should look like flames, pitchforks or something devily.

- Do not use a tree or telephone as the centerpiece. A freestanding tripod made of iron with a nice verdigis patina would be nice. This would give mourners access from all sides and allow for tasteful lights to be strung and seen from all vantage points during holidays and anniversaries of days I wrote one of my classic posts. Will this mean it's lit everyday? This will be for historians to decide.

- If funding starts to get low for the upkeep of the shrine, I will consider corporate naming rights for the shrine but pick something you know I'd endorse. Aflack TBY Shrine? NO. Reese's TBY Shrine? YES.

- The shrine should be constructed in a way that a "traveling duplicate" can be be made. After one month of my death, the traveling duplicate can make a tour of the U.S. The name of this venture should be, "The THAT BLUE YAK shrine - Time To Heal."

That's all I've come up with so far. I'm open to additional suggestions.

Famous Blogger Announces 2009 Calendar Of Hotties

I hope you saved the receipt for your Ziggy Calendar because you're probably going to be returning it. The reason? I hereby announce the THAT BLUE YAK 2009 wall calendar*. I'm not only releasing this to have a handy reference to the days of the week, but also as a blogger keepsake. A collectible. Since I already have a lot of foxy ladies reading this blog**, I thought I'd use their images for the calendar in exchange for the $1000 per year subscription fee that everyone who reads my blog has unknowingly signed up for.

So click on the links to see the 2009 Yakettes:

January Melo - She's the red head in the middle.

February Alice - in sexy Halloween outfits. The playboy bunny is my favorite.

March Lydia - She's the 4th picture down on the right (and some pictures below that).

April Gwen - The top picture with the fingers for gun is my favorite in this one.

May Ms. Florida Transplant - Hopefully she'll read this before she picks the winner of her current caption contest (hint - bribe - hint - wink)

June Beckeye - In her witchy-evil pose.

July Chele - Doing one of her famous splits on the dance floor.

August Morgetron - This is her with red hair.

September Whiskey Marie - One cool chick.

October Chris - this one is for the ladies and my gay readers. Look at those handsome poses. (note that I have no idea if Chris looks more like Brad Pitt or the Elephant Man. As I'm 100% straight man, all dudes look identical to me).

November - This month reserved for a picture of a unicorn with an inspirational saying. Or a tractor.

December -This month reserved for any female bloggers that usually don't post pics of themselves in their blog. Just send me a few pictures. Remember, there's only one spot left so if the picture of you happens to be of you kissing another girl or something titillating, my secretary may accidentally move it to the top of the pile. So get snappin'.

*Images for calendars will be printed and bound by users - or - more simply, just print out the pictures and tape them to a calendar from an Insurance company that you'll probably be receiving in the mail soon. Don't forget to write "That Blue Yak" on each page with a Sharpie. You know, so it looks authentic and all.

**For those of you that didn't make the cut this year, make sure to leave more pictures of yourselves on your blog so this cut and paste BS doesn't take me more than 5 minutes for the 2010 edition.

(and one more thing, I'm not responsible for what some of the male readers "do" with these pictures. Seriously, have you seen some of the creeps that visit this blog? Sheeeshh!)

McGlinch Honors That Blue Yak With Merchandise

I guess my good friend McGlinch at McGlinch blog got tired of me complaining about THAT BLUE YAK merchandise and decided to step up to the plate. Behold the beautiful art above! He makes DaVinci look like DaVinci's younger untalented brother for God's sake.

What does this mean to you? I hope you're sitting down for this because here it comes. You the reader...seriously..pay attention for this -you the reader can now buy a few limited edition That Blue Yak keepsakes. Limited meaning that when they sell like hot cakes, I'm cutting him out of the deal and making my very own merchandise with some crappy art that Falwless made me a while ago.

I can't wait to see the photos of you the reader - as the first one on your block or crappy town struttin' your stuff and shakin' your junk with a big ole' TBY Tee. Imagine the pride. You are a trendsetter! Here's a song you can sing as you approach curious onlookers:

You used to be starin'

At my crack

Now you're admirin'

That Blue Yak

(Important: when you say That Blue Yak, extend one foot out a bit so your heal remains on the ground and toe is pointing up. Then, using thumbs and index fingers, pull the fabric out a bit showing them the quality of the shirt and highlighting the cool art).

OK, get buyin' people. And let me know in the comments here every time you buy something. Some of you might want to buy something everyday while others might wait until payday to make their weekly purchases - It really doesn't matter. Seriously.

To view and buy stuff click on these magic words: Pry the wallet open you cheap bastard and buy some TBY. (And when you're there, check out other McGlinch stuff! - Buy my stuff first though in case you run out of money).