Run! Neely Went To Van Halen Last Night! 1980's. Concerts.

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I used to go to a lot of concerts in high school 

And even though I loved going to concerts I hated when other people went to concerts. Because dudes in high school can't shut their yappers and quit with the bore assing of the concert. Especially this dude we'll call Mike N. He might as well have walked around with a sandwich board announcing his excitement because he wouldn't shut his pie hole. Talking to everyone that would listen. Bonding with other people that would be going to the concert. It would go down like this: 

Tour dates are announced: "Van F%#king Halen mother f#$ker! I. Am. There!"

Tickets purchased: 23rd row to VH! YEAH!! They're gonna rock so hard! No denying!  F%$k Journey! I'm all about Diamond Dave you bitch ass!!

Day before concert: Guess who's going to Van Halen tonight? ME! Whoa, whoa, whoa Jamie's cryin' WEEEMP WHEEEP! *drops to knees and does air guitar.*

Day after concert (proudly wears t-shirt above and struts down the hall): VanHalen rocked! You should have been there! But you weren't! I was though! Best concert ever*! THREE ENCORES! THREE! "Runnin' with the Devil" right into "Eruption" YEAAAHHHH!!! *devil hand motion*

Then in the hall and at lunch he would list every song that was played. Alright now I'm getting pissed all over again.

To read about an incident that happened at a Who concert click here 

*It's ALWAYS the "best concert ever" isn't it?

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Please Keep Silence During the 4 Second Delay In Theaters

I see a lot of movies*. I see most of them in the afternoons - on extended lunches - or on the weekend. But always during the day. One of the main reasons I do this is because I can't stand when people have to make comments in between the scenes of the previews. I hate it to the point that it sickens me.

"Oh that looks dumb."
"Was that Dustin Hoffman? He looks older."
"Oh.I.Am.There."

If I'm watching the movie with someone - which is rare - I take the opportunity during these 4 second delays to say in the most retarded, enthusiastic voice I can, "Oh yeah that's gonna be a good one. I'm seein' that!"

And I'll say the exact thing after every preview.

I guess it's just my way of balancing things out.

By the way, the only thing worse than that in a movie theater is watching a movie where the audience is laughing at all of the wrong things or laughing extra hard because they're excited to be in public and watching a movie. This brings out the worst in me!

*The movie I saw today at the East Whiteland Regal Theater was the Brad Pitt movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button . The movie where he's born as an old man then gets younger? I was a bit embarrassed saying the title out loud but it was a pretty good movie. Great story. Special effects and makeup were unbelievable. Brad Pitt was good but Kate Blanchett was great. Check it out.

I'm A Very Gifted Ventriloquist - A Natural If You Will

So yesterday at my sister's house for Christmas I was inspecting the gifts that my nephews received and to my delight, and to the delight of everyone there, do you know what I found? Did you guess a Danny O'Day Ventriloquist dummy? If you did, you're right. The same one I told you about a few post ago. Remember I told you I got one in 5th grade?

Now I don't want to brag, but I'm kind of a natural. I'm not too good at keeping my lips from moving but I'm pretty skilled at insulting people and coming up with rude things to say on the fly. So much so that people were getting mad at me and running away.

I'm much better than this guy Jeff Dunham:

American Bandstand To Start Your Sept Weekend

I'm about to become a dancing fool this weekend while I try to unwind and contemplate my presidential run. And what better way than to walk out the door like George Gallo to this Barry Manilow song? Now, you have to watch this because you're gonna think - OK, this guy is just dancing like an idiot to this gay song. But wait. At about 44 seconds in he jumps into what I like to call "Style -n- Sass"* with his hands in his pockets. You be the judge:



Also, for those Chester County residents that want to meet me?... (or - who knows - those who may want to fly in - hoping to meet me) - I'll probably be at the Kennett Square Mushroom Festival tomorrow. I'll be wearing jeans or shorts.

* "Style-n-Sass" - if interested in licensing this phrase I just made up, please contact me. I have very low guarantees and royalty rates are very competitive. Serious inquiries only. NO BEAUTY PARLOURS!