Sunday, December 28, 2008

Please Keep Silence During the 4 Second Delay In Theaters



I see a lot of movies*. I see most of them in the afternoons - on extended lunches - or on the weekend. But always during the day. One of the main reasons I do this is because I can't stand when people have to make comments in between the scenes of the previews. I hate it to the point that it sickens me.

"Oh that looks dumb."
"Was that Dustin Hoffman? He looks older."
"Oh.I.Am.There."

If I'm watching the movie with someone - which is rare - I take the opportunity during these 4 second delays to say in the most retarded, enthusiastic voice I can, "Oh yeah that's gonna be a good one. I'm seein' that!"

And I'll say the exact thing after every preview.

I guess it's just my way of balancing things out.

By the way, the only thing worse than that in a movie theater is watching a movie where the audience is laughing at all of the wrong things or laughing extra hard because they're excited to be in public and watching a movie. This brings out the worst in me!

*The movie I saw today at the East Whiteland Regal Theater was the Brad Pitt movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button . The movie where he's born as an old man then gets younger? I was a bit embarrassed saying the title out loud but it was a pretty good movie. Great story. Special effects and makeup were unbelievable. Brad Pitt was good but Kate Blanchett was great. Check it out.

35 comments:

Vodka Mom said...

I have heard it's great! I think my sister and i will go see it!!!

Grandma J said...

That movie is next on my list. I just saw Seven Pounds with Will Smith...I mean he was in the movie, not that we went together.

It was good dispite the mediocre reviews.

Caffeine Court said...

Hey stranger! I love going to the movies by myself. But it never happens anymore. Thanks for the review. I really want to see this movie. LOVE Cate Blanchett.

Greta said...

Lol. Must be the word "button".

Greta said...

Kate Blanchette could make breathing amazing. She's stunning.

Alexa said...

i really like benjamin button! the end kinda creeped me out when he was getting younger but i would still recommend it. now i also saw valkyrie this weekend, which i would so not recommend.

Micgar said...

Geez you should just do it like this guy- http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news_update/20081226_Phila__man_shot_because_family_talked_during_movie.html

Fancy Schmancy said...

I don't like people and try not to go out in public very often. I can wait till it comes out on dvd, then I can enjoy Brad in my living room and hit pause to look at his sexy ass as long I want. At least, that's what I did with Troy.

Sass said...

There are so many movies I want to see, but honestly...I've never been alone to a movie. Am always tempted, but...would feel weird. Counsel me, good Doctor. ;)

We took the kids to see Bolt, and there was only one other family in there. In the middle of the movie, their little boy (probably about 4 years old) stood up and threw the popcorn bucket. He then proceeded to try to walk out, screaming, "But I don't wanna see Bolt."

Good times, good times.

B.E. Earl said...

I never used to go to movies alone, but once I screwed up the courage to do it I loved it. I pretty much block out everyone in the theater anyway if I am enjoying the film, so it doesn't really matter if I go with anyone.

buffalodick said...

We rented "House Bunny"... I seen worse movies, but not in the last 5 years!

Chele said...

I always get annoyed when people laugh to the point you cant hear what is being said on screen, thereby missing out a whole other funny point

mcglinch said...

"Oh.I.Am.There."

SkylersDad said...

We hardly ever get out to see movies much, mostly just watch DVDs. We did get out recently to see Bolt, kind of cute and short enough that Skyler could last through the movie. It's worth seeing just for the lines from the Guinea Pig in his ball.

franki said...

I went to see The Phantom of the Opera bc a girlfriend begged me to go with her and I laughed in all the wrong places and everyone gave me really dirty looks. Were you there?

Chris said...

Do adult theaters count?

Crys said...

i'm a little disturbed though. does a grown ass old dude come out of some chick's vajayjay? because that's more than i need to see.

in other news, i hate everybody, especially people who make gratuitous mouth noises in theaters. nothing sends me into serial killer mode faster.

love and light!

Sornie said...

I actually like arriving a few minutes early so I can mock the poorly made local commercials airing before the national commercials that air before the overly-produced sequence telling me that there are in fact concessions in this theater and to silence my cell phone.

Dr Zibbs said...

Sass - it's easy to see a movie alone. IF you're nervous, get there a few minutes early so you don't look like a loser. In the day however, it's mostly people by themselves. Best time to go because you can also pee in the popcorn bucket. Not that I do that - but you know.

Franki - I stood laughed at Phantom of the Opera too but it was standing outside of the theater and laughing at the people going in. That was me.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I love going to the movies alone! To me, it's a huge treat! I get to see the movie I want to, it's quiet, and I don't have to do anything but observe for two hours! It's theraputic!

Bizarro said...

Well, I'm usually not one to defend Dr. Zibbs but I am proud of him for going to movies alone (not merely because it will be easier to sneak up behind him with paino wire). Dr. Zibbs is brave enough to do all kinds of things alone. Dancing. Sex. His own birthday parties. That funeral one day (soon).

C'mon, people. What did we learn about him from the imaginary friend . . . er, I mean, ventriloquist dummy?

Next thing we know he'll be riding a unicycle.

Hmmm . . . gets an evil genius thinking.

LYDIA said...

Hey Zibbs! Just saying hello.

I look forward to seeing this movie, probably not alone though.

Morgan the (Almost) Muse said...

You know, that picture of Benjamin Button there, looks like this kid I graduated high school with. Hmm..

mike said...

I am actually looking forward to seeing Notorious, but I have to hurry and get in before it is shut down due to patrons shooting up the theater.

Gwen said...

You know, now that you mention it, I've never gone to the movies alone. I may try it this week on vacation. I do want to see that movie. Huh. Thanks, Doc!

Heff said...

I'll wait to see "The Curious Case of Benjamin ButtHole" on dish.

Not a big Brad Pitt fan, here.

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

It was good, but not great. Everyone in my theater was cracking up every time the lightening hit the old guy. Seriously? It wasn't THAT funny.

I'll admit to filling those 4 second preview gaps. I thought that's what the gaps were for???

Jennifer and Sandi said...

We just saw Seven Pounds Saturday night and my boyfriend turns to me ans shoosh's me. I am apparently a talking during trailer/movie offender. Sorry. I'll work on being more quiet!

Happy Monday!

- Jennifer

J.J. in L.A. said...

I prefer to wait til it comes out on video because I can't sit still for more than an hour (said the chick in the wheelchair).

Giggle Pixie said...

What I can't stand is when people bring their little kids to show...and they spend half the time whining for more candy or asking when they're going to go home, and the other half asking, "Why'd he do that? Where'd he go? Is that a bad guy?"

And I swear if they kick the back of my seat ONE.MORE.TIME....grrrrwwwwwwlllll....

URBAN BLONDE said...

I'm laughing so hard I've started choking due to Bizarro's comment.

What was your post about again?

Something about you being alone in a movie theatre doing something sort of Paul Reubenish wasn't it?

Falwless said...

I just saw this today - I really liked it!

And for anyone who has never been to a movie alone I highly, highly recommend it. I love it. And who gives a crap what anyone thinks of you! If it makes you feel better bring an oversized bag and stuff a life-sized doll in it. When you get to the theater take it out and prop it up in the seat next to you.

You're welcome for the suggestion.

Big Ham said...

Does "alone" count if you bring two pints of ice cream?

Dr Zibbs said...

Bizzaro - you finally said something that made me laugh you dumbass. Now why don't you try and write a few blog posts?

words words words said...

I go to the movies alone all the time. Not only do I not have to consult with people with bad taste about what movie to see, but I can walk into another theater afterward and do the ol' double feature.