Man Palms Head of Woman at the Square Bar in West Chester.

So I was at the Square Bar in West Chester the other night and saw this girl that I know. So I walk over to her (she’s not facing me) and I literally palm her head. Like you would do to a basketball.

Well, she turns around and guess what? Yup. It wasn’t her. Whoooops. I was all, “Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

Phew! At least she was cool about it. And there were a bunch of people all crammed together and I had a few drinks in me so it really wasn’t embarrassing. She just kind of laughed and said, “Oh that’s OK.”

I guess that beats getting slapped.

A similar thing happened when I was in third grade. I was at church and after mass I snuck up to a girl I thought was my older sister, pulled her hair back and just whispered gibberish into her ear. Like, “Blubba goola gobbla ramalam ring ding gooba agoobba…” (something like that)

And she turns around like, “WHAT THE HELL?....”

I froze like a deer in headlights. Then I just turned and walked away. And I had to see her for the next 10 years in church. I never made eye contact with her. Because of the shame.

Penn State Homecoming Weekend Recap. Yippin and Yappin.

Here are some various things about my weekend at Penn State:

- If my next day counting was correct I had 22 drinks on Friday.

- Thanks to the strangers that invited us to tailgate with them. Best bratwurst ever.

- I convinced a fraternity kid to burn their float but then said, "No I don't think you should really do that."

- One can drink from 11 in the morning until 3 at night as long as you don't stop. And you pace yourself. And graze throughout the day.

- If you want to keep ownership of the hotel hot tub you need to have someone "hold down the fort" at all times. Otherwise a bunch of hairy dudes will get in and it's all over. (The idea of brushing feet with a stranger sickens me).

- I was pushed into a bush ("bushed") and didn't break a hip. And I managed to not spill my drink.

A gin bucket is a plastic pale filled with gin and lemons. The gin is then poured into your mouth with a turkey baster. If you refuse to do it you will be taunted.

- Watching a drunk friend fall off of a chair is still funny.

- Dancing: I still got it. Unveiled "The Grindarena." I need to brush up on my Mick Jagger imitation.

- Having a friend yell, "It's 3 in the morning and I'm trying to sleep and all I hear is your yippin' and your yappin'! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! isn't funny to the person saying it but it's hysterical to the people getting yelled at.

And much more.....

How To Make Me - Dr Zibbs - A Drink. Scotch And Bourbon.

In case you ever want to prepare a scotch or bourbon for me, here are the steps to take:

- Using ice (never use ice from an ice maker unless it's store bought ice) crack the ice by placing it in the palm of your hand and crack it with a tablespoon.

- Place the ice into a crystal old fashioned glass. A highball is acceptable.

- The ice will be heaped over the top of the glass. The different size cracked ice will ensure that the ice melts at the perfect "melting speed."

- Pour the scotch or bourbon almost to the top of the glass.

- Add a splash of water. Use only spring water or water that has been filtered.

- If the liquor is mid-grade, like Jack Daniels, add a bit more water.

- Never serve me lower level (peasant stock) liquor.
Stir.

- Hand it to me.

- Sit on chair and watch me drink it.

I Admit It. I'm Addicted To Twitter. Chester County And Beyond.

HI. I'm @DrZibbs and I'm addicted to Twitter. But I really don't feel guilty because I always have my computer on at work and at home and I also have Twitter on my blackberry. So pretty it's pretty much always there. It's great for multitaskers.

When you try to explain Twitter to people that aren't on it they look at you like you're crazy. The way I look at it is that there are hundreds of people in my Twitter network that are talking about stuff. And I can chime in at anytime, usually with a smart ass comment. It's probably like the party lines of the 80's that I never went on because I wasn't a loser...OK..It's probably nothing like that but..

The people I follow are either locals, people that follow my blog, people that are really interesting or funny and some professional comedians and actors that are funny.

On the local scene it's been great. I've probably met about 30 people in the area in real life that are on Twitter. And everyone's been respectful of keeping my Dr Zibbs identity a secret.

On Thursday I was sitting out with my wife at Kildare's in West Chester having some drinks and saw 3 people from Twitter that I've met. Then I saw someone I've never met but introduced myself. It's always great to see the reaction on someone's face when I say, "I'm Dr Zibbs".

Then on Friday I was having a beer with a friend and when he left, I told someone on Twitter to meet me at Ryans Pub. The next thing you knew there were about 10 people there including a few more that I've never met in person.

On my @FatherKelly account I tweet stuff that's intended to be funny. It's a great creative outlet. I've met and have corresponded with some professional comedians that follow me and have told me that they think I'm really funny. So, I've got THAT going for me.

No time to edit this post to make it interesting but there you go. I'll probably think of more things to say and ad them to the comments section.

Twitter Tweet Up In West Chester Tonight. Chester County. Thanksgiving Eve.

So there is a Twitter Tweet-Up tonight in West Chester at Barnabys. 5:30 until whenever.

Can you imagine the excitement of the attendees? Because they get to meet me? I wonder if they even slept last night. Do you think? Probably not. Here are a few guidelines that I'll be printing on flyers for my adoring fans. Take a few minutes to memorize them before entering the lair* that I'm sure is being built for me as we speak:

- Always remember, when in conversation with me, I like to dictate the tone and pace.

- When listening to one of my hilarious tales, you may think of something that YOU want to add. That is fine. If time allows. (You may want to jot a quick note so you don't forget what your "interesting" story is). If you think the story isn't that interesting, rehearse it with a friend or member of the clergy in the bathroom. Ask them to be honest with you as to whether they think it's something I would want to listen to.

- On first approach, don't look me directly in the eye.

- If you have a gift to present to me, make sure to flaunt it to the others before giving it to me. It will give them a chance to run out and get me a gift so they don't look like a fools.

-Please, no photography. As I've stated before, I will allow charcoal sketches of me and construction paper art as long as the glitter is used at a minimum. There will be scales available for the weight of your glitter. I think it's two ounces. Ask one of my handlers if you don't know how to weigh things. They'll be happy to help.

- But most of all, enjoy yourself.

And speaking of meeting strangers that you only have talked to online, here's a post detailing the account of when I met a few West Chester bloggers. Maybe you know them? To read the story of that classic night last year, click here.

*I hope it has a Roman feel with a dash of 1976. And if I see one piece of tape holding up the streamers I'm out of there. Remember, nothing tacky!

Delta Dawn. Tanya Tucker. All Fired Up on Jack Daniels.

I was just watching Dancing with the Stars....uh..by accident?

And Donny Osmond was on. So I look up the Osmonds on the Youtube and I was checking out a Donny and Marie video. Marie...Niiiiice. But then on the sidebar I see Delta Dawn by Tanya Tucker*. Here's the video. Doesn't she sound like a goat at certain parts?

Does anyone remember this song?

But it does bring back a nice memory of when I heard this song on the radio when I was a kid.



*a few years back I was on a photo shoot and this photographer used to do all kinds of rock photography. I swear he photographed almost every major musician. So we were talking about music and he said he once photographed Tanya Tucker and she was telling him about when she used to be a major alcoholic. Said she used to walk around with a Jack Daniels bottle with a straw in it. What the hell?

Scotch Plains NJ Here I Come. Some Dude Named Steve. Crotch Pains.

So in about a half hour my wife and I are driving up to Scotch Plains New Jersey to visit our friends Steve and Debbie. You might know Steve by his "trying to be clever" name of CrotchPains. He's left comments on TBY. (See what he did there? Scotch Plains became Crotch Pains? ...With the rhyme and all? ..

Do YOU live near the exotic town of Scotch Plains New Jersey? How are you going to celebrate my visit to the region? Are you going to line the streets with banners and flags? If you do, I am so throwing gum and hard candy out to you. Pretend it's a parade.

It should be a good time. Always a great time with the two of them. We'll probably start drinking right away. Then, tomorrow when I get home, I have our neighborhood beer exchange/Eagles game.

I better go hydrate myself.

And if you follow me in Twitter at @DrZibbs, read my twitter feed and pretend YOU'RE on the trip. Come on, lets go!

Recap of Guy's Weekend In Sea Isle City, New Jersey.

So my weekend with the guys in Sea Isle City was great. Here are some random things that happened:

- Lots of card playing but not too much. I'm the only one that doesn't play. I did play a game called Left, Center, Right that is very retard friendly. I didn't win a round.

- Drank shitloads of beer, wine, Crown Royal and Jack Daniel's.

- One friend threw some pallets in the back of his truck on the way down. We burned them in a fire pit. While we're hanging out, this hot chick came up and asked what we were doing and where our wives were. My one friend quickly said, "We're on an all guy's gay weekend". She fell for it. She hung out and drank with us. She was bombed. Then someone realized that she was probably under 21 so we took her beer away. She was wearing a short skirt and you could see her underwear. I pointed that out to her and she said she didn't care. It's funny how one chick can totally change the dynamics of a group of guys. Soon she showed up, all we did was talk to her.

- Laughed our asses off the entire time retelling stories from back in the day. One friend, after telling one practical joke I've done after another said, "You're the meanest person I know". Baby.

- Played whiffle ball on beach.

- Walked to the Springfield Inn (a dive club). Within 10 minutes my friend got kicked out because some drunk asshole said something to him so my friend punched him in the face.

- Tried to find turtles in the bay. Failed.

Overall, a great time with friends I've known most of my life.

That's my quick wrap up since I didn't post yesterday (FIRST TIME IN OVER 10 MONTHS) so I had to write something.

Blogger Breaks Down and Sends Photo To Hot Blogger. Dream Fulfilled.

When I'm sitting on my mighty jewel encrusted, red velvet throne and looking through Facebook I rarely chat with people.

Nothing against my Facebook friends, it's just that the arms of the throne are intentionally very large (for intimidation purposes) and there's not a lot of elbow room for typing. I need to get that fixed. I guess regular chairs sometimes aren't good enough for me.

But last night I saw Miss Alex from the blog Fonzie Sox was online and I decided to chat with her. What a delight. And did I mention she's super cool and hot? And she's into most of the same pop culture stuff that I'm into? Yup.

She's been asking for a picture of me for almost a year. She finally broke me down. It was a picture I had on my computer with me and a bunch of chicks I met one night. And in her words, she said I was smoking hot. Did I mention she was drinking?

To hear what she had to say, click here and follow up observations here.

Breaking News: West Chester Bloggers Meet At Barnaby's.

Another That Blue Yak meetup has happened! I've revealed myself to another human. Here's how it when down:

- I decided after a long day of being fabulous that I would stop in the Barnaby's in West Chester to wet my whistle with a Sam Adams. A reward if you will.

- I alert the world that I am in Barnaby's Pub and that bloggers are welcome to join me. I do this via Twitter. Kimmie, a local blogger that I've been wanting to meet for ages reads this on Twitter that is temporarily located on my blog and she signs up for Twitter.

- I take this as a code and send her an email telling her I'm still at Barnaby's.

- All of a sudden, who do I see walking in the bar? A petite, foxy blond woman - looking around. It's Kimmie. I say, "Kimmie, are you looking for me? I'm Dr Zibbs". (see staged reaction above)

And talk about a surreal 30 seconds. I've been commenting on her blog for a year and vice versa and we finally meet. She was exactly what I thought she'd be like. Super nice, really sweet and totally interesting to talk to. And even more beautiful in person. We talked about food, blogging, me. All the important stuff.

I actually blushed a bit at first as I was saying, "Yes, it's me - Dr Zibbs". And I was giggling like a school girl for a while too. Even I can feel humble. Me. Overall, a great meeting and we plan to keep in touch. What a great time meeting a fellow blogger. Who will be next? Maybe it will be you - or you (getting right in your face and whispering) or even YOU!

You'll have to check out her blog today because she said she will be telling you all about a day that I think might be one of the best of her life.

I'm just guessing.

And not to make Words, Words, Words jealous, but you were discussed. I wish you were there brother. We talked about the dish you made the other night that was based on her recipe.

Saint Patties. Drinking. Holiday Theft. Face Punch.

As an Irishman, I've gotten used to the saying that, "everyone's Irish on Saint Patrick's Day".

I mean, I'm not going to start a fight with a non Irish person just because they're trying to steal my day but I'm also not going to sit back and let them pretend that it's OK that they can get bombed and pretend that they're Irish.

Because they're not.

So to be fair, I'm going to toss a potato onto a world map and ask that everyone harrasses the country folk that my spud lands on.

O.K. Here we go.....and throw...

The potato called it. It looks like it's the peoples of Trinidad and Tobago. So in all fairness, when you're out drinking at the bars today and you see someone from Trinidad and Tobago - start a fight with them. And when you're done kicking their ass, explain to them that it's nothing personal.