Believe it or not, in my early years unless I was around my friends I was pretty shy. So the idea of asking a girl out was pretty terrifying until I was in about tenth grade or so. I’m not sure what happened but I slowly became un-shy.
Well in about ninth grade and I was going to ask a girl to a dance. Instead confidently approaching her in the hall at school I decided to do the cowardly thing and call her on the phone. This way, if I fainted halfway through she’d just think something was wrong with the phone. Which was possible and probably would hold up in court.
Instead of just picking up the phone and calling her, I decided the best thing to do was practice. So I went down to our basement sat at my Dad’s desk (he had an office down there), put my finger on the button thing… what’s that called? You know…the hanger up button….so you don’t get the dial tone? You know what I mean. I put my finger on that thing and started rehearsing:
“Hello Patty? This is Dr Zibbs here. And the reason I was calling was…”
(deeper voice) “Patty. What’s going on? It’s Dr Zibbs and the reason for my call is…”
No. I swear I tried it ten different ways. And I tried different poses too. Nothing felt right.
“Hello Patty, It’s Dr Zibbs. And I was just wondering if you wanted to go to the dance with me.”
What the hell was that? “Just wondering?” Like I was looking out the window at clouds and the thought popped into my head, “You know..I’m just curious as to whether or not Patty would like to go to the dance with me? Hmmm. I wonder. Maybe I’ll just give her a call and ask her. It’s the only way to find out. You know, to really get to the bottom of this random thought that just now popped into my head.”
“Hello Patty. It’s Dr Zibbs. From school. And I was just wondering if…”
Just then I hear, “WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?” And I look up and my oldest sister is standing there with her mouth opened in amazement. The expression on her face was the look you’d have if you opened a suitcase and it was loaded with cash.
I remember jumping out of my seat from being startled and was like, "What?..I thought that…” And just stood there frozen for a second. Then, “GET OUT OF HERE!”
For the next week all I heard from my sister was, “Yes I was just wondering if…I was just wondering if…”
How embarrassing. And in case you want to know. Patty said no. She claimed she had to work at the Tasty Freeze*. Yeah right.
*For the locals, the Tasty Freeze used to be located where the Wawa is on Route 100 and Greenhill Road.