Sunday, August 12, 2012

Buying Weed From This Dude In High School. The Phone Is Ringing!

I don't know why but something popped into my had the other day that had me laughing. It was in 11th grade and I was going to buy some weed from some dude that I worked with. He told me to come over to his house Saturday afternoon at three.

I had never been to his house before. I find the house, drive by and I'm thinking, "Oh great. His Mom is working in the front yard."

I pull in anyway. I get out of the car and say hi to the mom. She's your typical suburban mom. Overly friendly. Asked how I knew Mark. I say, "Oh I work with him."

"Oh OK. Let me get him. Mark, there's a boy named Jim out here to see you."

Mark walks out, "Hey Jim."

Now at the this point I'm thinking that he's going to bring me into the house or we're going to get in my car and drive somewhere for the transaction. Instead, this happens....

Mark: Mom is that the phone? (there is no phone ringing)

Mom: (looking at him like he's kind of crazy) What? The phone's not ringing.

Mark: Yeah Mom. There it is again. The phone's ringing. (he's just making this up)

Mom: What do you mean the phone's ringing?

Mark: (with sense of urgency and looking at her like she's got a hearing problem) You don't hear that? It's ringing right now?? Go get it.

Mom: OUR phone???

Mark: Yeah! Quick mom! They're gonna hang up!

Mom: Why can't I hear it? (Looking confused she gets up and runs inside the way Edith Bunker runs when the doorbell rings)

Mark pulls weed out of pocket and hands it to me. I hand him money.

The mom comes back out shaking her head and looking confused.

Mom: Mark that wasn't the phone.

Mark: Oh it wasn't? Oh OK. Well, see you later Jim.

Me: OK bye.

Haha! That never would have flown at my house.


Suze said...

'(Looking confused she gets up and runs inside the way Edith Bunker runs when the doorbell rings)'


Dr Zibbs said...

Hey Suze i was just telling my girl the story and think that the mom actually said, "jim do you hear the phone?"(Daughter and i said, "yeah i think so."

But my memory is bad. I could be just making it up in my head.

Dr Zibbs said...

Ok the word daughter should not have been in thatt last comment. Phone auto correct.

sybil law said...

Mark is one smooth dude. Wonder if that trick still works with his mom?

(And holy SHIT can you get rid of the damn comment moderation thing? Those captchas SUCK.)

Elsie said...

That guy is a genius! I'd love to know what he does for a living nowadays....

Scope said...

I know why your memory is shot... Squirrel!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

the question is, is he still a good connection?

Whiskeymarie said...

My mom was way too smart for this stuff, which sucked. I think it's worse having a mom that was a "bad girl" than the Edith Bunker type- they know all the tricks, damnit.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey m - tell me about it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

He's a good man. Selling weed to the youth and slowly driving his mother insane.

Dr Zibbs said...

Dr K - The perfect combo.

Choleesa said...

That boy was systematically driving his poor mom crazy

Dr Zibbs said...

Choleesa - Yeah she's probably in a loony bin now.

Chris said...

We always just passed it back and forth in empty cassette tape cases. "Oh, he's just bringing a tape back that he borrowed."