Is That What I Sound Like During Nightmares? Deaf People. Pears.

I was having a nightmare the other night. It was one of those nightmares where you're halfway asleep and halfway awake. In it, there was a possessed person in my room. It was probably from watching this trailer.

So in the nightmare I knew somehow that if he admitted who he was and I ordered the demon to leave he wouldn't kill me. Kind of like the opposite of letting a vampire in your house. So I'm yelling, "Who are you?" But for some reason when I yell in my sleep it comes out sounding like how deaf people talk so I'm yelling, "OOOOO RRRR OOOOO?

"OOOOO RRRRR OOOOOO?"

Then I yelled "Get the hell out of my room" which came out as "Eeee A ELLLLL OW UH I OOOOO!"

Then I woke up.

And had a dream last night of this pear shaped girl I used to work with. She was really nice but not attractive at all. And she called me up and said, "Hey Jim I thought we'd hang out then we can go back to my moms house and you can sleep over. She said it was OK."

And I say "OK" thinking we were just going to be going as friends. But then she says, "I'm so glad that I found out that you're getting divorced so we could go out."

And then I was in a panic mode because there was no way I wanted to go out with her but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. In this case I did NOT wake up screaming, "I OT ATTWACTID OOO PEARS!*"

And this is the second dream I've had like this. I think it's because I've been separated for a few months and I'm getting divorced. Or that maybe I like pears? I'm not sure.

*interpretation: I'm not attracted to pears.

Weird Dreams, Dogs and Nipple Find

I just had another weird dream. I was doing stuff around my house and something was rubbing against my pants. Right below my belt.

So I pull my pants down a bit and there are two nipples that had grown on my pelvic area. So I run in a panic to show my wife and she calmly says, "I wouldn't worry about it, you know how dogs have multiple nipples? Maybe it's just some weird genetic thing and it's totally harmless."

What!!!!??????

Here's A Real Creepy Nightmare I Had Last Night

This is a real nightmare I had last night. This is not a joke. Some creepy dude had me locked in a wooden coffin. I heard him telling someone on the outside that he would release me under the following conditions:

1) He wanted samples of my hair. All hair, including eyelashes and nether region hair.
2) He wanted a skin scraping sample.
3) He wanted a silhouette outline of my body straight on as well as sideways. And he clarified that the side view should include an outline when I was erect. WHAT THE HELL!!??

Now it gets even creepier. I got a call out of the blue IN REAL LIFE on Friday from someone I haven't spoken to since high school. He left a voicemail. He wanted to know how things have been. I have no plans to call him back because I'm sure he's going to want to get together. The creepy thing is - he was the dude in the nightmare! But aged and scrawny and serial killerish. AHHHHHHH!

What do you think this means?

West Chester Blogger Announces Clown Weekend

It's official. I've decided that That Blue Yak will be having it's FIRST ANNUAL CLOWN WEEKEND. Starting now. And who doesn't love clowns? So plan to check back all weekend to see videos of everything clown related. Make a party out of it. Tell your friends. Don't have friends? This might be the perfect opportunity to stop a stranger on the street and make a friend,

"Excuse me. We don't know each other but would you like to come to my house and watch clown stuff together? Seriously - no funny business. Just clown stuff."

Who knows...you might have a new friend at the end of the weekend.

Also, whoever leaves the funniest comment - will receive the title of THAT BLUE YAK FIRST ANNUAL CLOWN WEEKEND GRAND MARSHAL OF CLOWN. Now I give you -"Evil Clown Dancing":