Monday, December 22, 2008

Here's A Real Creepy Nightmare I Had Last Night



This is a real nightmare I had last night. This is not a joke. Some creepy dude had me locked in a wooden coffin. I heard him telling someone on the outside that he would release me under the following conditions:

1) He wanted samples of my hair. All hair, including eyelashes and nether region hair.
2) He wanted a skin scraping sample.
3) He wanted a silhouette outline of my body straight on as well as sideways. And he clarified that the side view should include an outline when I was erect. WHAT THE HELL!!??

Now it gets even creepier. I got a call out of the blue IN REAL LIFE on Friday from someone I haven't spoken to since high school. He left a voicemail. He wanted to know how things have been. I have no plans to call him back because I'm sure he's going to want to get together. The creepy thing is - he was the dude in the nightmare! But aged and scrawny and serial killerish. AHHHHHHH!

What do you think this means?

38 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

It means your gay dude. (I had to say that before anyone else did).

B.E. Earl said...

It totally means that you are fucking going to die.

But then again, we all will...one of these days. As Jack said in "The Departed"...act accordingly. ;)

saratogajean said...

Holy smokes. I just broke out in a cold sweat.

If I were you, I would NEVER go to my high school reunion.

Unless you are into some serious homo-erotic bondage games.

SouthernBelle said...

You've been watching too much CSI.

Oh yeah and DO NOT get into a car with this dude, he will totally eat your skin.

SkylersDad said...

Oh go ahead and go see him, then when you meet up, the very first thing out of your mouth should be "You can't trace me in silhouette with a hard-on" just to see how he reacts.

Dr Zibbs said...

And what's up with the silhouettes? I picture him putting them in these large matted frames and hanging them like you see in Victorian homes.

Gwen said...

I think it means you should start dreaming about me again.

Greta said...

I think it means he wants to see you fully erect.

But can you blame him? We all do.

Michelle J said...

Dude thats some scary ass shit dream you had!! That would totally freak me out to the point of never coming to your blog again!!

Yet, here i am!!

Have a great day!!

Love
Stalker

Bizarro said...

You were informed not to discuss this matter.

Consider yourself warned.

The next visit will be the Ghost of Festivus Present.

You will not like the third ghost.

Bombchell said...

HA HA HA that is so fuckd up.

lol well maybe his vmail was playing when u were asleep. (not likely huh)

Chele said...

sexual gay dream for sure. you want to pull his hair and you want him so bad you could peel his skin off

Step Right Up said...

Go meet up with the guy.
And then after not seeing nor speaking to him for years, tell him about the homo-erotic silhouette. Then get back to us about how awkward the night went after that.

INNER VOICES said...

next he will be knocking at your door...

Mind of MadMan said...

I thought I had fucked up dreams..
I agree with Skyler, call him back and say that you are into these things. If he calls back, buy a gun, learn to use in and hunt the fucker.

BeckEye said...

It probably means that, if you decide to meet him for drinks and he asks you for some hair and skin samples, you should just give them to him. It will save you a lot of hassle and gasping for air.

Miss Alex said...

I'll take a photocopy of that sideways erection please...

Dr Zibbs said...

Beckeye - that's a wise plan. I'll plan to do that.

Miss Alex - Sounds good but you may want to wait and buy a frame because I was going to do the silouette on computer paper but I'll have to tape an extra piece of paper on for where the erection will me. Yeah. I think you're going to have to go to a specialty frame maker for this one.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

MEANS? It means that you can never go to sleep again!

- Jennifer

Cora said...

Hmmm. Well, I decided to look this doozy up in a dream dictionary for you (hyperdictionary.com/dream) and here's what I found out:

a coffin means you feel confined and lack personal freedom.

the cutting of hair means loss of strength and that someone is trying to censor you.

skin means your protection of your inner self.

an erection means creative power, energy and that you want to take action (hello)

being kidnapped means you feel restricted.

a man who is known to you means you have concerns about this man.

being scared means you feel self-doubt and have a lack of control.

there was no outline definition, but chalk means your knowledge is being called into question.

and a serial killer means your emotions have been cut off and you are losing your identity and individuality.

My diagnosis, doctor - you need a hug. Awww.

Slyde said...

Earl called. He asked me to ask you if you could send him that outline of your body with the erection...

moooooog35 said...

Yet another reason I shave my balls.

Less to give to the creepy guy asking for a sample.

Plus, I look bigger in boner silhouettes.

Michelle J said...

Dude you never comment on my comments!!!

What's up with that??

I may have to send the dream police to your mind tonight and make them make you have a nightmare!!!

Love
Stalker

Dr Zibbs said...

Michelle J - here's my comment. And did you notice that even before you wrote that I left a comment on your blog? Yes I did.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Don't forget the timing of the dream. It means that you want Santa to give you a little (maybe not so little) something..."extra".

~E said...

I don't know what it means. I'm just glad your dream didn't end with you and Gwen rolling around on a polar bear rug or soemthing!

Giggle Pixie said...

That dream would've made me wet myself.

And not in a good way.

Hope your dreams are much better tonight!

Dr Zibbs said...

Slyde I already packed it up. Well, I actually had the staff pack up the silouette of a gay dude but he won't know the difference.

URBAN BLONDE said...

Did he throw sausage patties at your ass?

S E E Quine said...

It means that you should DEFINITELY GO FOR IT!! Whatever happens will be an *interesting* experience!

Dale said...

It means you should return my call.

Queen Goob said...

You are so fucked.....or gay. I haven't decided yet.

Sornie said...

Yeah, an outline including your erect penis, sorta gay.

Morgan the (Almost) Muse said...

I think Freddie looks like a cheese pizza, and that you should avoid this guy.

Leonesse said...

Who was going to do the actual silhouetting? Inquiring minds want to know.

Lisa said...

I'm thinking that you were kidnapped by aliens. Oh, and examined.

Kez said...

Duh - it means he's a serial killer and he wants you for his next victim!
That is a bit creepy...

words words words said...

This was much more interesting before I realized the dream came AFTER the phone call.