Thursday, May 7, 2009

Beauty, Mismatched Couples, Numbers, Ugly People. Sex Techniques.



I love watching people.

And I like to rate people with numbers. Before I meet someone, it's obviously based just on looks. Like when you're walking through the mall or down the boardwalk and you see a couple, you rate them on a scale of one to ten.

Don't lie - you do it too.

But then if someone has a really great, charismatic personality, or they're really funny, really interesting or super sweet (chicks only), they may get a few more points from me. It's my scale and that's how it works.

Usually, couples are pretty close to their partner in number though. It's not that often that I'm thinking, "What the hell is she doing with him? Once in a while but it's not that often.

Then, once in a while you get the four point people difference. It's pretty rare. "Wait a minute!You're a five but she's an nine! What up wit dat brudda?" I find that it's usually money. Rich goofy ass dudes matched with good looking chicks that don't feel like working.

Have you ever met a couple that was more than four points apart?

And on a related subject, do you chicks ever tell your girl friends that they've got to sleep with some dude because he's so great in bed? I like to think that you do. And that it's happened to me. You know - because I'm so great in bed. Seriously. Your head would spin. I'm not making this up.

Except make sure to freshen up.

44 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

And may I ad that the super flirty chicks always, always go up in number.

Remember that ladies.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I only have smart chick friends. They and (I) are always close in numbers w/their partner!! :)

Happy Friday Eve!

- Jennifer

Selaen said...

I've never really seen that mismatched couples. And if I have, it's only been a few points in favour for the guy.. A.k.a an ugly guy has got himself a hottie.. :P It's a researched fact that people generally go for partners of a similar attraction level.

And yes, we girls totally suggest boys due to their sexual abilities. I know I do..

xx

Samsmama said...

I'm with Selaen, I will totally become a pimp for a guy if he's great in bed. I like to spread the wealth.

Samsmama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
saratogajean said...

I am selfish. I don't share the wealth. I hoard it.

sista #2 said...

When people meet Big F, they cant believe we are married! LOL.

what?
why?

peace
#2

pinkjellybaby said...

If a guy was that good in bed, I wouldn't want to be sharing him...although I would tell them how good he was.

Whiskeymarie said...

I actually know at least 3 couples where they probably have a 3-4 point spread between them, and I know a few where it looks like the Universe just dipped their hand into a big bucket of people, took two out, and said- "there you go- a couple!"

I would never tell any them this, of course.

I always told my girlfriends if a guy was good in bed, but I also told them when they were really bad, so there you go.

Kurt said...

They have an elaborate network dedicated to sending each other good sex partner tips. I'm sure of it.

Also,I swear to god my phone must be broken. (Lifts receiver. Checks for dial-tone)

diane said...

Cute Hubby and I couldn't be more different, but more the same. It's weird, and I guess that's what makes ninja marriage so good.

Dr Zibbs said...

Saratogajean - lol at that comment.

Whiskey - good description. I can see that in my mind's eye as Falwless said one time.

Kurt - Dots a Good Von.

Greta said...

My girlfriends and I swap good sex stories, but we don't take each others sloppy seconds. There's just too many fish in the sea for that one.

Dr Zibbs said...

No. Greta I don't think you have any good sex stories.

I guess the only way to prove you're not lying is to write a post about the best one.

words...words...words... said...

I think I am consistently 1-2 points below the women I date. Nothing crazy, just enough to keep me in line.

And while I never tell my guy friends about how women are in bed, I know women do it more. I remember being horrified when my college girlfriend shared intimate details. I would be considerably less horrified now.

And Zibbs, how did you know Kandy Kakes were my favorite??

SkylersDad said...

There is a great sport term I heard on the radio during an interview. A member of the Broncos was on and his wife was with him, and the sports talk dude said "Boy, your wife is beautiful. You really out-kicked your coverage, didn't you"

Dr Zibbs said...

WWW - you mentioned Kandy Kakes in comment many moons ago. That's how I know.

Or maybe it was jsut Tastykakes in general. I forget. Either way, I was being a Tastykake truck today and thought about you.

Prunella Jones said...

Well, when you are as hawt as I am it can be kinda hard to find a guy equally hawt who is also cool and fun to be around. I don't care about looks so much if they make me laugh.

I would totally bang Zack Galifianakis.

Prunella Jones said...

Also, Zack is rich! ;b

Dominica said...

To be honest, not only do I rate but I also have this line in my head that says (when I meat people down the street) :
You can have me or I can get you ...LOL
You should try it !
Also use to do this men-watching game ; are they 'wearing' left or right ?
I know...women are worse than men.

And if I knew a guy was sensational in bed, I would have kept that secret to myself ! I was an only child ; I don't share ...:-P

Dr Zibbs said...

Prunella - he played a bum on the Sara Silverman program.

I've never seen his standup. I'll have to keep my eye out for it.

Actually, I'll look on the Youtube later.

Debbie said...

Good heavens. Iv'e been married so long, I wouldn't even know how to talk to my friends about sex.

Gwen said...

I don't know many couples that are mismatched in the looks department but I know a lot that are mismatched in the personality department. I always wonder what made the guys marry such cunty bitches.

YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT ZACK G. RIGHT NOW. He is effing funny and I'd do him. And then I'd call you to tell you how he was.

Dr Zibbs said...

And endorsement of Zack by Gwen and Prunella. He's got to be good.

I'll check him out tonight.

And I just remembered that he's on the Sara Silverman DVD (extras) running the question and answer session when they were at Comic Con.

words...words...words... said...

I add my hearty endorsement of Zach Galifanakis, although I will stop short of banging him like Pru and Gwen.

Cameron said...

A few points, Zibbsy? A girl can have a few more points for having an extra sparly personality. I think not. One point maybe.....

Cora said...

I dunno, Zibbs, everybody has unique likes and dislikes, so what you're seeing as a four point difference probably isn't a four point difference to the couples themselves.

For example, my step-mom (who I adore by the way!!) is drop-dead gorgeous! She's tall, blond, funny, flirty, smart, and has gigantic boobs. Then there is my dad, just your average-looking fella. In the looks department they probably seem mismatched to people who don't know them. But if you know them, then you know how much they have in common and how great they are for each other and how amazingly happy they are together.

And no, my Barbie-like step-mom was NOT attracted to my dad for his money. She makes about three-times what he does.

Greta said...

Lol! Can't do that. My boyfriend would get so jealous of that other guy.

Kelly said...

My best friend got with a dude with a major difference. He should have been over the moon that he scored her.

Cheated on her.

Had a baby with her.

Dumpped her.

Beat her up.

She's like WTF? He was my moped!

So yeah, it happens.

Swedish Chef said...

I am convinced that word of mouth spreads very quickly about what you can do with your mouth (etc...) amongst groups of girls. My basis for this is the number of group pictures of girls who are all friends that I've looked at and said "yup, yup, not yet, yup, yup, sorta, ehhh...nah...well...no, no."

J.J. in L.A. said...

A couple I know is 6-7 points apart. He's a 0. I'm dedicating my blog to him this weekend (and it won't be flattering).

Girl Interrupted said...

Every girl knows you don't share the good stuff ... you just brag about it

I fancy the pants off Zack too ... but I'm guessing there won't be much left for me to bang once Pru and Gwen have had their wicked way with him ... dammit! Must comment sooner in future!

Head spinning? Are you saying sex with you would be like a scene from the Exorcist?

Interesting.

Peggy said...

The first thing that came to mind when I read this was Julia Roberts and Lyle Lovett...wtf was that all about?

Gwen said...

I say Pru and I tag-team Zack.

Run the numbers on THAT, Zibby.

;)

Jeannie said...

I don't have a number system. I have never ever had any woman recommend nor have I recommended any man to sleep with but then, we didn't do that back then and I've been with my guy for 30 years now. I do agree that couples are usually closely matched. I often wonder about how ugly couples get together - are they really attracted? or just horny? or just settling? I don't get it. Not to brag but good friends of ours admitted to us after years of being friends that before they knew us but knew of us they thought we were "pretty people".

Dr Zibbs said...

Peggy - I was originally going to post a picture of the two of them.

Eric said...

*combing hair like Zack*
They say I'm good in bed, particularly when I sleep alone.

Phat Mama said...

Big Daddy is far better looking than I am. I see women's heads whip around to see if the back end of him is as nice as the front. And yep, I mention how good he grinds to my friends but they can't have him!

phd in yogurtry said...

Are you kidding? Find a guy who knows how to tiptoe through the two lips? You keep him for yourself!

Miss Alex said...

Of course I tell my girlfriends if it's good in bed... I like to make them jealous... ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

PHD - Never heard it called that.

~E said...

You bring up a good point. Why is it that in cases where there is a 4pt difference or more between couples it's usually the women who are hot and the men are just so so.

Just goes to show us women are shameless hussies! And than men are much more prone to being subject to hotness than women. all we need is money and a good job.

words...words...words... said...

Money and a good job?? I want to get by on being pretty!

Dr Zibbs said...

Sex and money E. Sad but true.