Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Mirror on People in Bathroom. College Nonsense and Fire. Dump.



I loved living in the dorms in college. To annoy people on my floor, if someone was in a bathroom stall, I'd say, "Get your mirrors. Someone's in the bathroom!"

We'd all grab mirrors, sneak in and quietly reach the mirrors around so we could see the person sitting on the toilet. The victim would look up and down and realize five people were looking at him. The shock on the person's face was always hysterical.

Then it got worse. We'd then have someone try and grab the guy's legs. We'd reach a broom over the top of the stall and hit him on the head. Dump water over the top. It just kept getting more and more ridiculous. So much so that people would go to another floor if when they had to take a dump.

I guess what made it so funny was that the person was so vulnerable. There's nothing you really can do to fight back.

Then, the tipping point happened when my friend Steve was in stall #4 and I lit a piece of paper on fire and threw it in the stall. I hear screaming, "What the hell?? WHAAA!!!"

It wasn't Steve's voice. It was some dude that I didn't really know that well. I did know he had a bad temper though. So I jump back out of the bathroom, into my room and slowly close my door. I left it open a crack and peared out. I'm nosey like that.

So who comes walking down the hall? Steve. Innocently walking to his room. The only thing that could have been better would have been if he were whistling. He had no idea that someone just had their eyebrows singed by a fireball. The dude comes barreling out of the bathroom, grabs Steve and yells, "What the hell are you doing???"

I'm not sure what happened next because I slowly shut my door. I didn't want to get caught I guess since I was recently told that in an RA meeting they said I should be watched because they thought I was "twisted".

Who me?

42 comments:

Chemgeek said...

You're lucky. If that guy would have had really bad gas, you could have 'sploded yer self.

Actually, that would have been a better story to tell.

Vic said...

Right now, in therapy sessions all over the east coast, your name is on the lips of your former victims.

It's like being famous!

diane said...

Nothing's funnier than bathroom humor. Personally, I love the "polaroid in the shower" attack.

Scope said...

Our simmilar trick was on the weekends. The janitors would stack 15-20 rolls of toilet paper on the shelf under the mirrors, incase everyone went to the Jolly Tamale or something.

So, when one of a select few targets (Vic the Dick, the college quarterback, for instance) would go in there for a dump, someone would round up a couple of guys, we'd all grab a couple rolls, and then on hand signals, we'd lob the rolls over the top of the stalls, and then kill the lights.

HIGH-LAIR-A-TEE!

Scope said...

Oh, and "Vic The Dick" is in no way related to the "Vic" that commented before me.

At least that I'm aware of.

Youngblood4ever said...

Now that is just downright wrong...Brilliant, but wrong. Why didn't I think of doing these things when I was in college? Where were you when I was "studying?"

Scope said...

Youngblood4ever, did you not do the "Lysol + lighter = flamethrower" thing in college under the stall door? Or put baby powder in a old album cover, slide it under a dormroom door, then stomp it like a billows, so the baby powder snowed in the room, coating everything with a fine dust? Leaned a trashcan full of (mostly) empty beer cans against someone's dorm door, so when they opened it inward, the trash went all over their room?

Or was that just Zibbs and me?

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

This just has to be a guy thing. Really. The worst thing I think we ever did was.... hmm. I can't even think of anything. Yep sticking with my original thought: It must be a guy thing.

Dr Zibbs said...

Vic - I can only pray.

Dr Zibbs said...

And my Vic I'm refering to the blogger Vic. Not the Vic that Scope went to college with.

Kimmie said...

You probably give your wife dutch ovens, don't you?

Maxie said...

HAHA. I've totally played a prank on the wrong person before...it kind of makes it better.

Racquel Valencia said...

Awesome. You're right, we really ARE at our most vulnerable when sitting on the can. One of my greatest (irrational) fears used to be that a hand would reach up out of the toilet while I was sitting on it.

The Jules said...

At a meeting, a friend sitting next to me received a picture message on his phone, from someone else at the meeting which was a bit odd. He showed it to me. The picture was one of those 'over-the-cubicle-wall' efforts showing someone on the loo.

It was me.

Cue giggling. Lots and lots of giggling.

Cowguy said...

I seriously just cried. This is the best thing I've read in a week. A solid 10!

Susan said...

WHAT??? People were watching me piss and shit via mirrors under stall doors????

I'm totally devestated.

(Oooooh, I miss dorm life! Really, I do!)

Dr Zibbs said...

The Jules - That's great! I'll have to add that to my to-do list.

Cowguy - thanks. Maybe I'll make this TBY dorm week. I've got some more good ones.

Dr Zibbs said...

And Susan - where have you been?

Dominica said...

My answer to that would be : It takes one to know one !!
You give me such good ideas !! haha
I know some people I wanna 'hurt' now and then...so, I will snatch a lighter from hubby and have some paper in my pockets from now on.
I love the part when you hit someone with a broom over the top but a broom stands out more than a lighter, right ?? (evil grin)...

Dr Zibbs said...

Dominica - thanks for your interest in the broom technique. To clarify, the best way to do it is to have someone hit them in the head with the broom from the top. Not really hit them but "brush their hair" with the broom.

To make it more demeaning, you can say, "Looks like someone needs their hair brushed today" while brushing.

When the victim is looking up and fighting off the broom, this is the time to have a friend swoop in from below the stall and pull their leg so they have to struggle to stay on the toilet.

Whatever you do - have fun with it.

Anna Russell said...

You are evil. I respect that.

Dr Zibbs said...

Anna Russell - I like to live by the message of most After School Specials: Be yourself.

B.E. Earl said...

We did something similar in college. We would fill a bucket with ice-cold water and then pour it on some poor soul who was talking a shower. The dude would invariably scream like a little girl.

But never while anyone was on the terlit. That shit is sacred, yo.

Cameron said...

Dr Zibbs?!?!? Twisted?!?!! Nah...maybe just mis-understood. :)

Tony Alva said...

Good stuff... At University of Maryland we had a common shower in our hall bathroom. At some drunken point one night, somebody suggested we block the door to the shower area with metal headboards, put dining hall bowls over the drains and fill up a hot tub. With a little help from some duct tape the plan worked perfectly. We had about four feet of water built up when our hall’s famous sloppy drunk attempted to crawl over the headboard wall and broke the seal. I knew right away what was about to happen, so I jumped over him and hauled ass back to my room which was way down at the end of the hall. Within 30 seconds, a wall of water rushed out the door of the bathroom flooding all the rooms surrounding the bathroom. Worse, water being water, it rushed down the stairwell and through the ceiling flooding our dorm colleagues below us. I knew this was a bouncable offense, so I threw the blow dryer on and changed into dry clothes immediately. I peaked my head out to see a shit ton of pissed off guys from the floor below and RA’s shouting at each other. I quietly closed the door and got prepared for the knock on the door as they canvassed for squealers. When they got down to my end, I cracked the door open and did my best, “You guys just woke me from a sound sleep, what the fuck do you want?” act which worked perfectly. I don’t know how SOMEBODY didn’t go down for that stunt since the damage was huge, but nobody did (one guys whole stereo system was ruined along with all his text books).

Man, you should have seen that water rush out that door, absolutely hilarious!

Dr Zibbs said...

Tony Alva - BUSTED! This is Bill - your RA from U of M. It took 25 long years but the trap of setting up and running this blog finally worked.

You've confessed! And everyone heard it too.

Campus police will be at your work place within 3 hours.

This now ends the ridiculous blog known as That Blue Yak. Can't believe you people were reading this nonsense.

Whiskeymarie said...

My friends and I used to sneak up and take quick pictures from underneath the stall- it only works with a regular old camera (not digital), but holy hell we got some funny ones.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Twisted??? YOU Zibsy??

I wouldn't believe that for a minute.

Dr Zibbs said...

Whiskey M - That never happened. OK. To prove you're not a liar, please post the pictures on your blog.

Candy - Thanks for believing in me.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm so glad I didn't go to college with you fucking freaks. ;)

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Looks like I missed all the fun not living in a dorm. I shared a house with 5 other dope smokers off campus. And as in "others" I mean they smoked dope I didn't!

What day of the week would you pick for your TBY Dorm Day Post?

Happy Hump Day!

- Jennifer

Nikki said...

It would have been even funnier if you had snuck up on a man with diarhea! That would have made me spit milk out my nose.

words...words...words... said...

If there is any justice, your ever-expanding circle of followers includes Steve!

Luckily for you, there is no justice.

catherinette said...

Thank freaking God I didn't go to college with you. I'd still be in therapy trying to heal.

Nightmares forever.

Dr Zibbs said...

Catherinette - I would never mirror someone that I was "doin'"..if you know what I mean.

Do you know what I mean by using the code word "doin'"?

Gwen said...

NoNoNoNoNoNo! This exact story is the reason I lived in the snob dorm and had my own bathroom. Fuck that. I cannot deal with anyone messing with my poop time. I have a hard enough time going w/o some yahoo ogling under the door and throwing shit at me.

No.

My favorite dorm prank was to lean a trash can full of water against the door. Door opens? Floodsville! Bwahahaha!

Also? I fully support Dorm Week at TBY. Bring it.

Some Guy said...

You wrote this for me. I know it. This is right up my alley (where the back doors are).

And to answer your question, you can use my material anytime you want. It's only fair after I outed you the other day.

Dr Zibbs said...

Some Guy - you sir...are on!

Cora said...

Okay, funny, yes - but weren't you then paranoid they'd all mirror you the next time you were dropping the kids off at the pool? Or were you too cool/intimidating to get pranked?

LiLu said...

You know, a few hours from now this would be a TMI Thursday...

sybil law said...

Hahahahahaha!
Awesome. :)

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil Law - thanks. And as I asked on your blog - when are you going to write another post?