Monday, April 19, 2010

Some Things I've Been Paid To Do. Jobs. Chicken Attack.




Here's a random list of things that I've been paid to do. Most are jobs but a few aren't technically jobs. And most are in order.

- Kissed an Aunt
- Picked up apples for Nana
- Paperboy (was pecked at by chickens and bitten on the ass by a dog)
- Babysitter
- Pamphlet hander outer (in doors)
- Sold flowers on the corner (fucking dangerous at times)
- Customized calendars for plumbing company with calligraphy
- Helped kids learn how to do archery
- Busboy
- Dishwasher (was forced to pluck a chicken one time outside in heatwave)
- Food prep guy
- Telemarketer (used to make prank phone calls when manager left room)
- Sales clerk at audio store at a Farmers Market
- Drove sports cars to New Jersey to be sold at auction
- Participant in a medical "cold study" (drank the whole weekend)
- Factory worker
- Loaded 18 wheeler trucks with boxes
- Sold illegal things
- Business cleaner
- Standup comic
- Product Development Manager and Director for a giftware companies
- Business owner
- Sold things on Ebay and Half.com
- Sales/Marketing

And I'm sure I'm going to think of more. I'll ad them to the comments.

So what did you slackers do?

30 comments:

FrogCheeks said...

Man-ho. Money sucked but good bennies.

JenJen said...

Bud Girl.

...and I sense a trend with you and chickens.

Dr Zibbs said...

Frogcheeks - I was also an "escort" but with ladies.

Well, at least they were dressed like ladies.

JenJen - You mean a girl that hands out flower buds in a bar or a budweiser girl?

C. Camel said...

You got paid to drive a sports car to an auction? How great was that job?

JenJen said...

Budweiser girl.
and St. Pauli Girl
and...ah well. you get the point.

Kristen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kristen said...

Awesome.

I always heard people selling flowers roadside were moonies (you know, working for Reverend Moon).

Everything I thought I knew about you is all lies.

Dr Zibbs said...

C Camel - it was great. I was in college and we used to drive the hell out of them on the way there. Favorite one was a corvette.

JenJen - If you don't produce a picture you're lying.

Kristen - I sold them on street corners. I'll right a post about it. It was very odd.

Stacey said...

Why do I think I’ve talked about this before…

While in college, I helped out with my professor’s eBay business. He sold antique dolls, which required you to take pictures of them both clothed and nude to show any problems with the porcelain body.

So essentially, I spent my summer taking pictures of naked dolls in my professor’s basement.

That’s not creepy at all.

KendallJaye said...

I did the telemarketing thing. Sold Playboy subscriptions. Easiest. Job. EVER.

-KJC

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I did the medical testing for about 4 days just after college. Great fun peeing every 30 minutes and tracking the production. And they didn't even have skinemax!

Dr Zibbs said...

Stacey- that is creepy.

Kendall - but that's an easy sell coming from a girl I would think.

The mad woman - I actually faked my cold and got into the study.

KendallJaye said...

Funny thing, that. It was mostly women who were renewing it for their husbands. Nothing says "I love you, now leave me alone and spank it" like renewing your hubby's Playboy for him.
-KJ

JenJen said...

Zibbsy I think my husband stole the pictures. I'm sure there's a polaroid around.
I'm also quite certain there are hard copies around since I had my picture taken a lot.

Scope said...

Held baby pigs while an old man with a knife cut their balls off.

(Actually, more of a "hobby" than a "job" since I didn't get paid.)

(Oh, and since you're wondering, we hed the balls to the dogs.)

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope- haha. Now that's bad job.

well read hostess said...

Lone female fiddle player in an all guy band.

Undercover DEA agent in Miami.

Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor inventor.

Crossword Puzzle Champion of the Universe.

Model for Hello Kitty! backpacks. But only on Japanese billboards.

Dominica said...

I've tried the escort thing too : but instead of gettin' paid - I was the one ending up paying ...
....
model for lingerie ... http://thatblueyak.blogspot.com/2010/04/travel-tip-that-i-really-didnt-want.html
....
hand model
foot model
1 brow model

Dr Zibbs said...

Well Read H - impressive!

Dominica - Brow model? Cool.

Gage said...

hmm... I don't know if mine are very interesting. Well one is kind of weird (meaning embarrassing). I was in this pretty bad goth music video, it's on Youtube, I might share the link...(totally cringing right now).

Dr Zibbs said...

Gage - You HAVE TO GIVE ME THE LINK! I won't share it if you don't want me to. DM me on Twitter.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

I've linked you in my post today, thought I should let you know!
Though I suspect you won't see any "bump"

Thanks for giving me something to write about!

http://adiaryofamadwoman.blogspot.com/2010/04/day-20-i-feel-theme-coming-on.html

Dr Zibbs said...

The Mad Woman - Thanks!

Steve said...

Ha ha, OK Zibbs! Commenting on your site -- want to be uber cool, too.

As for crazy jobs, I worked at a salmon processing plant for a summer in Kenai, Alaska. Lived in a tent for three months and played with fish guts!

A and B said...

I worked in a rectory. I know, it's hard to imagine me anywhere near a church.
~A

Kimmie said...

You have so many fans, I'm surprised you noticed lil ol me wasn't commenting! Doesn't mean I'm not reading :)

Nice jobs.

Mrs. Hall said...

I work the water massage table at the mall.

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Kimmie. You know I'm a comment whore.

Mrs Hall - Gross. Do you have to touch people? I hope not.

Chris said...

"Pamphlet hander outer"

I hate you f***ing Jehovah Witnesses. I don't come to your church and drink beer, keep your church off my lawn!

Dr Zibbs said...

Chris - They were pamphlets to run Jehovah Witnesses out of the neighborhood..