Friday, April 23, 2010

West Whiteland Neighbors Terrorized By Idiot. Snoop.



If you read my tweets last night you know of the very sad event that happened. And by sad, I mean that I made an ass out of myself.

One of the things that cracks me up the most is when someone is trying to be funny, then something goes wrong. Really wrong. The only time I don't find it funny is when it happens to me.

So here's what happened. I've been taking daily walks in an attempt to lose some weight. I've lost 10 pounds in 4 weeks thank you. So I'm walking around my neighborhood, my ipod is blasting Snoop and a car approaches me from behind.

I keep my same pace and the car is kind of driving right next to me. The window goes down on the car. I stop. The car stops.

It's my friend Calhoun and his wife. So in Snoop rapper style - and gang signal hands I hell, "YOU GOTTA PROBLEM MUTHA FUCKAAA?" as I strut over to car and practically put my head in the window.

*This is where things turn tragic*

It turns out it wasn't my friend Calhoun and his wife. They were total strangers. His face was all, "What's are you doing???"

As soon as I realize it, I pull off my headphones and say, "Oh my God. I'm sorry. I thought you were friends of mine"

"Uh.....that's OK.."

Now I'm going to have to face these people everytime I walk around the block. I think they might even be new to the neighborhood. And it sucks because I don't want to be all embarrassed everytime I pass their house.

Maybe I'll force them to move by making them believe a ghost is living in their house. It might take some elaborate planning but there's really no other option. Is there?

41 comments:

achrome said...

LMAO - I was cracking up when I read this tweet last night then when I heard my neighbor screaming "MOTHER F-ER" later that night, I just had to laugh again. I am sorry you made an ass out of yourself but thank you for the laugh! :)

Mrs. K said...

LMAO I just hope you didn't have some plumber crack action while they were coming in from behind!! ouch!

ps- wtf with that girl?

JenJen said...

you know gang signals?
You scary.

HappyHourSue said...

That's Ok. We need more gang activity here in West Chester.

Kristen said...

Kind of sad when i realize I just laughed the hardest I will laugh all day (possibly all weekend?) and it's before noon. You are a king.

westchesterdead said...

That's some comedy gold there!!

Heff said...

LMAO !!!! Walk a different block.

Jessica said...

Hahahaha! I think you need a new route.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I believe the 'ol' sunglasses, mustache and wig would do it? And some Madonna vs Snoop?

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!

~ Jennifer

Lostinspace said...

I'd hate to think what would have happened if you were listening to the Village People.

ÄsK AliCë said...

Haha hilarious because it didn't happen to me...

So why did they stop?? I blame them, totally. If you stop and follow a random stranger on his nightly walk, you have a problem.

Yeah, blame them.

Peggy said...

Killed, I would have KILLED to see this!

KendallJaye said...

Pure. Fucking. Genius.
I love it. You, sir, are a King.
Make sure to change up your iPod playlist, tho. You can powerwalk to the Bee-Gees just as well, right? o.O

-KJC

Gwen said...

Maybe you're looking at this the wrong way. Maybe they were planning to kidnap and kill you in a Satanic ritual and your antics saved you.

See? No need to be embarrassed. You're a hero.

Son of a Thomas said...

That is some funny shit negro!

Dr Zibbs said...

Wow. I was called King twice. I guess it's official. One of my new nicknames is "Blog King"

T-Ro said...

so WTF the motha fuckas want, yo?

Would have loved to have seen the expressions on each of your faces.
Story is funny enough but THAT would have been priceless.

Dr Zibbs said...

T-Ro - My face was trying to be all bad ass then turned to, "Hey did that guy just see a ghost?" to pretending like "hey this is no big deal here. I thought you were someone else"

All while fumbling to get my headphones out of my ears.

I am smoooooth.

Gage said...

try saying fucking blog king 10 times fast.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

What is it w/white men and Snoop? My hubs used to "cruise" in his corvette (he bought it when he was in his 20's), laid back in the seat as far as it would go, blasting Snoop.

Maybe SOMEONE has learned a lesson.

Dr Zibbs said...

The Mad Woman - I like all kinds of music but when it comes to rap, Snoop ir probably my favorite.

And did I learn a lesson? No.

Lula said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

But why were they following you slowly and then stop when you stopped?? WHY???

Dr Zibbs said...

Lula - they were waiting for me to pass so they could pull into their driveway.

J. Hi said...

Now that's some funny sh*t. Wish you were my neighbor.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Whoops!! I know this was a tragic, embarrassing thing for you, Yak, but I confess I have yet to stop laughing!!

Probably because it's just so refreshing that I'm not the ONLY one that things like this happen to!

I like the ghost idea. I totally think you should go with it. Let us know how it works out!

And, as always, thanks for the laugh!!

Dr Zibbs said...

J Hi and Anything Fits - thanks for being so sympathetic to my pain.

Scope said...

I think there's a Brady Bunch episode that can help you out in the whole "ghost" thing.

MUTHA FUCKAAAA!

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope - I was actually thinking of that Brady episode when I wrote that.

Fancy Schmancy said...

LMAO. I think tomorrow you should make a batch of cookies, dress in your most gangsta outfit, walk over to your new neighbors and when they answer the door hand them the plate and say "this is what the fucking problem is, mutha fuckas" and just walk away. Might as well make the most of it.

Dominica said...

hahaha perfect story !! I know Zibbs, everyone has his flaw ; this was yours ... oh well, you managed to stay polite instantly ... they'll laugh about it and have a great story to tell on cardnights ... you'll be famous (once again) and who knows, 2 extra followers !
(Isn't your blogname on the back of that hoodie you're wearing ??)

..
Had a similar experience like yours ; only, I jumped on the back of a guy I thought I knew and when I saw his face when he looked in horror and shock at me I couldn't just say sorry ... My legs were entangled around his body ..:-S

Dr Zibbs said...

Fancy - Hahahaha. Classic!

Dominica - Thanks. Now I feel a litte better. That must have been great to see!

Kate said...

AH ha ha! Wish I could have seen that.

As Snoop would say, "Church."

Dr Zibbs said...

Kate - If it were filmed I have no doubt it could go viral.

chase said...

definitely a good laugh! I needed that today :)

Iain said...

Well done Sir! I LOL'ed; literally. That's one hell of an icebreaker.

Dr Zibbs said...

Chase and Iain - thanks.

Mrs. Hall said...

Dang yo!

That's harsh stuff.

but. better suck it up and drive on cause yeah! 10 lbs in four weeks.

you sexy machine you!!

Robin said...

bwHahahah..luv it...it reminds me of when you're waving hysterically at someone ..trying to say hi..just to find out its not them and then ...embarrassment sets in...and you make believe your swatting a fly or something...next time you see them greet them the same and they'll just think thats who you are...Id be friends with ya..!

Caffeine Court said...

HAAAAA!! Classic. Thank god they didn't have mace!

Kimmie said...

I can't believe you were "stacking" in West Whiteland.

That is some funny shiznit. Fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

Dr Zibbs said...

Kimmie - I will now go look up what "stacking" means.