Garlic Flavored Triscuits Are Downright Tasty! Crunch!

I normally don't like my crackers and chips flavored. Once in a while I'll go for BBQ flavored chips and I do like BBQ Frito's but other than that? No thanks.

But I had some Roasted Garlic flavored triscuits the other day - with some sharp cheddar on top and they were really good! It looks like the elves at Nabisco finally got off their asses and created something tasty.

And I think they're kind of healthy for you because they have fiber. I think they have fiber. I mean, the texture is kind of like the bark of tree in a way.

Who knows? What do I look like? The God damn surgeon general?

So check them out and let me know of any salty cracker or chips that you like in the comments area.

My Favorite Your Momma So Fat Jokes

Here's a list of my favorite old school Yo Momma So Fat jokes. These jokes are very big in the African American Community so most of you crackers won't get them right away. To help with your understanding I urge you to try to say them like you think a black colored might say them.

I wrote none of them as I ain't a racist like you. (and I'm 1/10th Cherokee. My great-great grandfather was an important chief. So,..you know).

- when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

- she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind the Himalayas.
- she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.

- that her senior pictures had to be aerial views!

- she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

- she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

- she's on both sides of the family!

- when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

- when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

- she has to get out of the car to change radio stations.

- she put on a Malcolm X T-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her.

- that when god said," Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ass out the way first!

- when she dances she makes the band skip.

West Chester Blogger Caption Contest Winner Honored

Greetings from West Chester folks and thanks to all for entering my first "Caption Contest" (see picture below). Nobody got the obvious which was, "If you love something set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

The 1st place trophy however goes to Rider from Rider's Block who wrote, "While Polly blew him, Joshua thought of all the angels watching. And his dead mom".

Let's break things down people and take a look at what he did here. Deconstruct it if you will. Firstly, I like the construction of the sentence overall. Also, as far as I can tell, no grammatical or spelling errors. Off to a good start.

It started with the name "Polly" which draws you in right away. Is it a pirate's tale? Does it have something to do with crackers?

Then he starts telling us that "Polly blew him!" Hold on there big fella! Things are turning sexy on us here.

I was feeling a bit hot at this point with all of the dirty talk. I couldn't get the music out of my head that sounded like sexy music. You know, like some of the African American artists from the 1970's used to play. They called it Funky music. So I stopped reading and thought I'd come back later after the rythmic beat and hot steamy feelings cooled down a bit.

After a nice cold compress that our staff nurse so kindly administered on me, I returned to the tome and Rider starts blabbin' about "Joshua..and angels!" Oh great. He's gonna be turning all religious on us. I bet he's even gonna try to hit us up for a donation for his church or something. Or more sneakily, he'll ask for a "pledge". Get lost jerk!

Just as I was about to stop reading, I moved onto act 3. You've got to remember, I'm a very, very slow reader and -when Rider writes, I like to savor every second like a delicious lolly. That's when he turns things around. This SOB hits us up with a real zinger with the line, "And his dead Mom". Can you imagine that!!??!!

That's when I found our winner. To all the losers, take your time on the next contest. Consider writing a few rough drafts like Rider actually did. Tape all of the drafts to the wall, then take down the one's that don't make the cut. If you know it's no good, don't waste our time. Sit back and shamefully watch as others post their potential winning comments. There are many other things you can do to feel a part of this blog.

Rider, please leave your acceptance speech in the comments area as well as any tips that you may have for the readers.