Wednesday, March 3, 2010

People That Tell "Standard" Jokes And My Facial Reaction. Stone Faced.



Everyone knows the type. The guy that says, "I got one for you". Then he goes on to tell one of those "three guys walk into a bar" jokes. And you can tell he's rehearsed it before - all confident in his delivery.

I had an older cousin that did this growing up. And I always hated it. The jokes are rarely funny. Whenever they say, "I got one for you", I just get uncomfortable because I know I'm not going to think it's funny. And if you're in a crowd, everyone is expecting you to laugh. I just stand there with this look on my face that says, "I don't want to be here".

It's one thing I can't do. I can't fake laughing at something when it's something that's not funny at all. I can't even force myself. It's not out of jealously like I wish I were the one making everyone laugh, it's just this thing I have against people that are trying really hard to be funny. They're giving it everything they got and what they're saying is just stupid. But they think they're funny.

I used to work with this girl that some people thought was hysterical, and a few of us - the ones with a sense of humor - couldn't stand her stories. She would tell these stories, most of which were exaggerated bullshit, and she'd be laughing when she told them - which would get some people laughing. Then, she'd throw in the worst accents to liven up the story. For some reason it was always a terrible French or English accent. As if there was always a foreigner around when she apparently got into these crazy predicaments.

And people would guffaw over these stories that weren't even funny. So after one of the meetings where one of these stories was told, I was walking down the hall with two of my coworkers (that have a sense of humor) and the one said, "Here's an imitation of your face when that story was being told".

The expression was one of someone at a funeral. With an occasional, uncomfortable smile, as if the priest just said something to lighten the mood. Since then I became aware of this face. But there's still nothing I can do to stop it.

16 comments:

AbelPetSupply said...

I enjoyed your use of the word "guffaw". I rank it with other rarely-used-anymore words like "elixir" or "petticoat".

diane said...

Haha, that is funny. Oh wait, I got one for you.....

diane said...

p.s. Did you go to the naked girl post that I left you in your previous comment section? That ought to help you crack a smile.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - I did. Thanks. I'm glad she wasn't wearing a petticoat.

Carnie said...

I think it's good you don't have a fake laugh, as most people can see right through it. My husband has one that I swear is awful his BF actually called him out on it. Now he uses it less, but still.

Gwen said...

I got one for ya . . .

Two Irishmen walk into a bar. The third one decides to just go home.

What? It could happen!

Gage said...

i'm the same way. The funniest part of that whole story was the stone face part. that might have even made me laugh out loud!

I hate jokes and I always warn people that I hate them if they start and tell them how bad they are when they finish. Someone has to.

Dr Zibbs said...

Carnie - I dare you to record that laugh.

Gwen - impossible.

Gage - yeah, you've got to see the face.

B.E. Earl said...

Three men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

(wait for it...)

Chemgeek said...

The worst is when you've heard the joke and half way through them telling it, you say the punch line just to let them know they should stop telling the joke, but they keep telling the joke anyway.

Geez, I hate some people.

JenJen said...

I'm one of those people who will laugh with you, then talk about you behind your back once you leave about what a dipshit joke that was.

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

Oooh, I have an uncle who tells those jokes! Worse, the "I've got one for you" is usually followed by something inappropriate and/or racist. We usually pat his shoulder afterwards and say something like, "Oh, you're a character, alright!"

Terrible!

Dr Zibbs said...

Anything Fits - Reminds me of the Grand Dad on Sixteen Candles.

Son of a Thomas said...

That's not the Lawrence welk show. That was my high school drama class's intrepration of Dante's Inferno.

A and B said...

YES! I hate those jokes too! My face is one of utter disgust and I usually say something sarcastic at the end. hahaha

Know what else I hate?? The "HOT/COLD ENOUGH FOR YA?" people. Makes me wanna punch a nun. UGH. lol

~A

J. Hi said...

I've had plenty of experience fake laughing or fauxing, as I call it. I am really good at fauxing. You can find me fauxing at home, at work, and sometimes at the mall. I don't always enjoy fauxing but I do it because it is expected. I think fauxing is a good skill to master.