Tuesday, September 7, 2010

How My Brain Works. True Story. And Runner With A Hot Dog.



Maybe I AM weird but if you met me in real life you'd probably think I'm pretty normal. You'd think I'm really funny but nobody thinks I'm kooky. I don't think they do. But so much crazy stuff goes though my head.

ALL the time.

It's probably because of my ADHD. I was diagnosed about 6 years ago and it really did change my life. It made me feel like, "OK, I'm not stupid." Even though I consider myself successful, school was always a struggle because of major distractions. I just couldn't concentrate. My mind just constantly thinking about things. It's like someone is trying to entertain me the second something gets boring.

So here's an example*. I was walking on the Struble Trail last week and there was a lady that was running REALLY slowly. I mean slow. She had a hot dog dog on a leash. You know..the dachshund. And the dog was just trotting. Have you ever seen the tiny legs on those dogs?

And because of that weird hip disease I had a few months ago (that's now totally cured and will never come back) the doctor said to hold off on running. So I walk. Everyday. And I walk really fast. I like to keep svelte.

So I'm approaching this lady who is running really slow and it's one of these things that I know I have to speed up to pass her.

So normal people would just pass her. But in my head. I'm actually doing a play by play commentary of me passing her."

"He's approaching...he sees that the dachshund is looking back. Nervously. She slightly slows. Out of embarrassment perhaps? He quickens his pace. JESUS CHRIST HE'S GONNA DO IT!! Either he's a really fast walker or she's a really slow runner. Oh my God!. What's the point of running if you're THAT slow? The dachshund appears to have the look of shame on his face..."

Like I imagine if it were a show or a movie and the things they would say. But I'm not even TRYING to think of the stuff they would say. It just happens.

Well imagine your entire day there are thoughts going through your head like this. Every waking moment. I'm not making this up. This is how my brain has always worked. And maybe that's why I can come up with funny shit to say. But do you know what? As I'm typing this out I'm thinking, "You're fucking crazy."

Oh well. It's who I am I guess.

*Not really the best example but...

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I laughed at the play by play with weiner dog woman...

Dr Zibbs said...

Thanks Anonymous. Who are you?

Moooooog35 said...

He's about to read it. There aren't many pictures but he thinks he can get through it. HE'S LOSING IT BUT WAIT! There's a dog in the story! The pace quickens and before he knows it he's REACHED THE LAST PARAGRAPH!

*crowd erupts in cheers

I think I know what you're talking about.

Scope said...

My brain usually has a running commentary going to. But it only REALLY gets me in trouble when the filter between it and my mouth gets turned off.

Which happens somewhat frequently.

Dr Zibbs said...

OK Moooog. You had me laughing on that one.

Jessica said...

My in-laws are dachshund people.

I wish I was creative enough to have a running commentary like that. Most of my thoughts are, "Idiot. Moron. I hate you. Stop looking at me."

Amy, Woman Exploding said...

Wait. Was the commentary what YOU were thinking? Or the weeny dog?

Son of a Thomas said...

I do a similar thing where I do the voices of the other people/animals.

But still I agree.

You're crazy.

sybil law said...

Great. Now I find out I'm fucking nuts.
Ha - just kidding!
I already knew.

Dr Zibbs said...

Son of a T - you do the voice of ANIMALS?


...and cuckoo..and cuckoo.

diane said...

Maybe those voices in your head are real.

I'm just messin' with you man.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - no you're NOT messing. *runs out of room*

madtexter (corey james) said...

This is not strange at all. I have conversations in my mind all the time before I approach people. What they'll say, what I'll say; how I'll guide the conversation.

I passed a lady the other evening while I was running. She had 6 dogs with her. My first thought was, 'forget the cat lady, this lady is a dog lady'.

So in my endorpined state, I imagined the conversation I would have with her when I passed her. As I passed her, one of her dogs growled at me, and I said, "That's a lot of love." Meaning, that's a lot of love those dogs have for her. But she gave me a look like I had just made a sarcastic remark about how her dog growled at me.

Whatever. I guess perception IS reality.

Dr Zibbs said...

Madtexter - I'm not surprised you do this too.

Gwen said...

I do this as well and am convinced it's why I trip and fall down a lot.

Johnson said...

For some reason, I've realized I tend to think of my bike as an enclosed space and I have a tendency to have these sort of commentary moments out loud on my way to and from work. I'm not narrating per se, but I've been overheard saying inexplicable things I'd never actually say to people like, "Dude, it's August, lose the scarf" and "Jesus. That's a nice ass."

Mel said...

I cannot stop the running commentary in my head, I imagine it more like a screen play, because i like to describe the scenery and characters as though I'm telling them to someone else - my imaginary friend maybe? It's awfully annoying when you're trying to live in the moment but can't stop analyzing it, ever. Nice to know others heads are just as full. I figure we must be brilliant or at least highly evolved to be thinking so much all the time.

Dr Zibbs said...

Mel - Thanks for stopping by my blog.