Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I Can't Stop Laughing! Phantom of the Opera Mask.




OK. I had one of those can not stop laughing but am about to explode like when I wasn't allowed to laugh in church moments early yesterday morning. You know, when you're dying to totally crack up but you can't?

And I blame my Twitter friend @Trilee33. She's hysterical and seriously could be a comedy writer. Her tweets make me laugh so hard. She's of the funniest people I follow - including professional comedians.

Here's how it got to the point of me sitting at my desk and losing control and then trying as hard as I could not to laugh as my shoulders were shaking up and down:

My Tweet: I wonder if I walked into Wawa and started singing The Rose if people would gather round - some kneeling - or if they would just kick me out?

Her Tweet: Cool...I'm trying Phantom of the Opera at Stop n Shop, Foxboro. Will use a boneless chicken breast as the horrifying facial mask.

Well just the visual of using a boneless chicken breast on her face almost had me bursting into laughter. But I contained it.

My Tweet: You should start the performance by very slowly peaking into the window...the normal part of your face showing first. "Oh look...
...it's just a normal looking person looking in at us....OH MY GOD!!!!!!"

She tells me she just spit out her coffee and I tell her I can't stop laughing at the site of her slowly emerging into view with a makeshift boneless chicken breast on her face that's supposed to look like a Phantom of the Opera mask (revealing herself the way Noblet does on Strangers with Candy when he peaks into a classroom)

My Tweet: The "OH MY GOD" screams coming when they see your horribly disfigured boneless chicken face. (An old lady faints at the sight)

She tweets: I just spit out my coffee (old lady fainting)...

Now I'm dying laughing. So I have to control myself and I take a few minutes to do something else.

She then says that the boneless chicken breast has to be fastened to the face with twine. All I can think of is a mangled mess of chicken. Scary music playing as she tries to cut the eyehole out with kitchen shears but then the eyehole is too big so she has to use the twine to hold it together.

And the twine is also used to wrap around the back of the head to hold it in place. But it slips down so she has to keep it in place by wearing a hat. HAHAHA!

OK. I'm cracking up again just thinking about this.

So after this, I'm completely trying to hold it together when I see there's an email from her. I'm so about to burst that the sight of seeing that "1 new message" icon even put me back into shoulders shaking trying to conceal my laughter mode that I had to close down my email.

Well, maybe you had to be there but it was the most I've laughed in weeks.

15 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

...and there were some more dms that made it even funnier but you really had to be there.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

It sounds like you have the same friendships that I do.... Sometimes I think my friend sends me DMs in the hope they'll make my blog.

But a chicken breast Phantom of the Opera is comedy gold.

Loved it.

Dr Zibbs said...

Mad Woman - you mean if I send you some DMs you'll write a post about me?

If you do I'll link to it. I will ya know.

madtexter (corey james) said...

BWHAHAHAHHAHA! That's great! When I first saw the chicken, I thought you were going to segway into those fake boobs 'chicken cutlets' that women use to enhance themselves...and that you saw it in church.

Dr Zibbs said...

Madtexter - Glad you think it's funny. We were discussing how some people are just better at visualizing things and find those things funnier. Then the nonvisualizers.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Son of a Thomas said...

I wasn't there and that sh@# was funny.

Jessica said...

Awesome.

Dr Zibbs said...

Wow. Glad this is coming off as funny to the reader.

Anonymous said...

That chicken breast would make a terrible looking face.But if she went to Walmart would anyone even notice? Have you see the blog People at Walmart? So funny.

Slyde said...

phantom in stop and shop? i think i'd run!

Gwen said...

Make sure she washes her hands after handling that chicken!

Chaka said...

That is funny! That was also a difficult scenario to descibe, but you did a great job. I don't think I could have conveyed that as well in a blog post as you did. I always hate it when I think of something funny in my mind, but by the time I translate it into words, it loses something.

Dominica said...

love it when people can write something really funny and also have the talent to visualise it for ya !!
Great story !

Mel said...

Thank you. I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. I will never cook a chicken breast without laughing again. I may never grocery shop without laughing at them again either. So I guess thanks for making me appear odder in public than I already do!
ps i blog hopped here from suburban sanity, and i figured she must follow funny blogs, and yours was the first click. I might be here a while :)

Alice said...

It would be even better if she put makeup on the chicken breast and instead of a mask, tried to play it off like it was her real face. hahahahaha