Monday, September 20, 2010

When I Hear Renaissance Faire I Run For The Hills. B101 Bee.



Renaissance Faire?

Schmenaissance Fair!

I love festivals and fairs but the kind I don't like is a Renaissance Faire. Like the PA one that's now going on.

And it's not that I don't like the Renaissance. I do. I just don't like bad actors approaching me and talking in a terrible Old English accent and I'm supposed to play along.

It's like when a dude in a costume - like the Bee from radio station B101 wants to high-5 me. It's a dude in a bee costume. I ain't playing along you dick.

One time I was in a supermarket and I was really hungover and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and guess who it was? The fucking Bee. And he was just standing there waving at me. So I just go, "What's up?". Then turned back around. So there's been bad blood between the two of us ever since I guess.

That is all.

Oh, yeah. One more thing. Look at the dude in the picture gnawing on the turkey bone. Repulsive. And you know he's all, "Oh my King this turkey leg hath to be the most splendid tasting bird in all the land!"

Shut it!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

@trinalikeswine My take on the Renaissance Faire?...Job program for mental ne'er do wells...Also, the food blows, and the crafts suck.

sybil law said...

I am so glad I am not the only curmudgeon about those stupid festivals!!

Dr Zibbs said...

Anonymous - I know right? Crafts? Sand Art? Get the hell outta here!

Sybil - You're right. STUPID!

FrogCheeks said...

I agree that the people, entertainment, costumes, accents, crafts and food are lame. But most of the women have 50% or more of their boobs exposed. That must do a lot for attendance.

Chemgeek said...

Zibbs,

I cannot agree with you more. I've tried and my agreement has maxed at 100%.

Dr Zibbs said...

Frog. Agreed. The boob thing is the only plus.

Son of a Thomas said...

Drop acid and went to the Renaissance fair. Made it just bearable.

Jessica said...

Never been and have no plans to attend. Not even I am that big of a nerd.

Gage said...

I don't think the boob thing should really be considered such a draw. From what I've seen, mostly they are hanging out because they (and the rest of the woman's body) don't really fit in the costume all that well.

I hate these stupid festivals of the subnormals so much that I actually feel angry.

Scope said...

You want to see worse treatment of the turkey leg? Come to "Taste of Chicago" the week before the 4th of July and see more 300 lb women in spandex shorts and sports bras gnawing on one of those bad boys.

At least that dude has a buxom wench serving him.

CrotchPains said...

We spend Thanksgiving at my in-laws. Now that's a good example of turkey from the Renaissance.....

ThompsonR said...

A pox upon ye. How can thou not partake of such a splendid feast and grand competition while surrounded by the bountiful bossom of fair maidens? Indeed Sir Zibbs you have missed the mark and should resconsider your disdain for this fine spectical lest ye be smote.

Dr Zibbs said...

ThompsonR - Well put. And welcome to my blog.

Heff said...

My comment is similar to FrogCheeks.

The same really doesn't apply to WOMEN dressed as characters.

The first time I run into a French Maid who threatens to clean my house, I'm taking her up on it !

madtexter (corey james) said...

Oh, gawwd. I would never go to a renaissance fair. Too many freaks. I'd sooner attend a week-long revival meeting sitting under a giant circus tent in Alabama somewhere, drinking chicken blood and speaking in tongues. 'HIGH GLOOORY!'

At least at a revival, you KNOW they're really crazy...and not just acting.

Tasha said...

" I just don't like bad actors approaching me and talking in a terrible Old English accent and I'm supposed to play along."

Hahaha! Freakin hilarious! But hey, the ladies have really big, squishy boobs...doesn't that count for something?!

Dr Zibbs said...

Tasha - Yeah. It does.