Well I'll tell you one thing. I love going to the movies but I HATE paying their ripoff prices for food. I know, I know, that's how they make their money. But tough luck. I'm not going to pay $7 for a popcorn and then $6 dollars for a soda. Especially the soda because I only take a few sips of it anyway.
So I usually smuggle a water in but lately I've been smuggling popcorn in. And I was super paranoid the last time I smuggled it in. I had it a sweatshirt wrapped around it and had it under my arm.
And it was super obvious that something was being hidden. And I just head it under my arm. As if I sweatshirt is THAT bulky.
And I had just made the popcorn seconds before I left the house so I think I was reeking of popcorn. I was imagining the steam coming out of the top of the sweatshirt. AND it was a different kind of popcorn that I usually get and it had this cellophane that was loud as hell. So every time I moved slightly you would hear: Crinkle. Crinkle. Crinkle.
Then in my head I was thinking about what I should do if they said, "Sir what is under your sweatshirt?" The options I was mulling over were:
1) "What? Nothing." (But then I was thinking they'd probably follow me into the theater and wait till I undid the sweatshirt.
2) "What? Under my sweatshirt? This thing that is as big as a football? Hmmm? (Opens up sweatshirt and acts surprised) What the? How did...how did this bag of popcorn get in stuck to my...? Well THAT'S weird."
Well I didn't get caught so I didn't have to do anything. Oh. And my new tradition is also bringing in peanut M&M's. Then I alternate popcorn bite...M&M bite. Salty and sweet.