Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Exton Fair. Carnies. Man Prepares Interview For Bearded Lady.



They're here! The carnies have arrived in Exton (right near the Exton Mall) to set up and work a fair. Which means I'm working up a few questions for an interview I'm hoping to get with the bearded lady. Here are a few:

- Did you ever shave half of the beard and turn sideways then some dudes were at a bar and were like, "Hey babe how about I buy you a drink?" Then you turned your head slightly and he was like, "DEAR JESUS!!"

- Do you ever brush you beard at night in your carny trailer while wearing your nightie and you have to brush like 100 strokes or something to keep it looking pretty. And the rhythm of the brushing gets you humming a song then the sword swallower or the strong man or something bangs the thin wall from his trailer and yells, "KEEP IT DOWN! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SHUT EYE!" How does that make you feel?

- Did you ever hook up with a local who had been drinking and you were making out then he pulled away and just said, "I'm sorry. You're nice and all but I just...I just can't do this!" Then he ran out? Not even stopping to pick up his shoes?

- Did a friend ever sit you in a chair and say, "Now you just stay put and I'm going to pretty you up." Then she tied little ribbons in your beard and said, "OK that should do it!" And you turned around to the mirror and were just about to smile when some jerk walked in and yelled, "Nice try Bearded! Remember...once a freak ALWAYS a freak!"

That's all I have so far. Let me know in the comments if you have any questions for her.

12 comments:

sybil law said...

Does she let it just grow and grow, hoping to reach ZZ Top lenght at some point?

That's all I can ask. Carnies freak me out.

Dr Zibbs said...

I need to meet a bearded lady!

Dr Zibbs said...

Sybil- I'll ask her!

W.C.Camp said...

Forget that poor bearded lady, I am interested in the guy who fries up that dough, funnel cakes, and elephant ears!!! W.C.C.

Dr Zibbs said...

WC - elephant ears. I think I know what they are.

TC said...

you've definitely watched too many tear-jerker 70's era carny movies and maybe a Little House on the Prairie episode or two.

Dr Zibbs said...

TC - Could be.

The Jules said...

Ask her if the collar matches the cuffs.

Dr Zibbs said...

The Jules - noted.

diane said...

Beards are gross enough on guys, but we tolerate the "manly thing" as best as we can. But on a chic? ek. ahem. eeeeeek. ahem. just can't get that hair out of the back of my throat. eeeeeeek.

Slyde said...

all these years i've gone about thinking that you are the yin to my yang, and then you tell me that you thought the Avengers was a terrible movie?

gosh, i feel like i dont even know you anymore.....

Dr Zibbs said...

Slyde. I am. You like avengers and I don't.