Wednesday, May 16, 2012

BREAKING NEWS: Chester County Man Confronts Loud Eater!



I must be growing bigger balls in my older age. First I tell the teenagers to shut up in the Downingtown Regal Theater (see story here) now I confront a loud eater at the library.

If you think about it I'm kind of like a public nuisance fighter. A man who puts himself in danger's way for the good of others. Perhaps like a super hero? Hold on there. I put my pants on like everyone else. Am I making the life of the commoner better by standing up to these injustices? Yes but "super hero" might be pushing it. Well, they're YOUR words not mine. Call me what you will.

Here's what happened. I'm sitting on the computer and this dude is eating Peanut Chews. Loudly. Smacking his lips and mouth with every bite. I'm not exagerating when I say that if I tried I couldn't do it louder. If you heard my imitation you would roll your eyes and say, "Yeah right. He wasn't doing it THAT loudly!" But he was. Almost like he was doing it on purpose.

After a few minutes of looking over to him - him oblivous - I finally couldn't take it. My blood was boiling!

Me: Listen. Do you realize how loud you're eating? You need to go somewhere else.

Him: (looks at me and he's furious) What? ..I...Why don't you!....FINE!

Then he flings his chair back, grabs his stuff and storms out. He looked like David Banner right before he goes all Hulk.

I was hoping for applause from people but there were only a few people there. And they probably sensed danger*. Not sure if they noticed because I was then going into fight preparadness mode. After a minute I was going to turn to the guy behind me and say, "Do you believe that guy?" But didn't.

And I don't feel bad either. A few weeks ago the dude was doing the same thing. And he was eating Fritos -taking one tiny piece and chewing it slowly with the same loud, annoying lip smacking. And was also then opening his drink, taking a sip then going, "Ahhhhh."

Jerk! You got what you deserved!

*Pussies.

11 comments:

sybil law said...

*I* would've applauded you! In fact, I will now.
Slow clap...

Dr Zibbs said...

Yes

TC said...

http://youtu.be/daSG5fwdA7o

Dr Zibbs said...

tc - I deserve that. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Daily Local News Headline: "Self-Righteous Gum-Dropping Dick Berates Loud-Eater in Library"

Dr Zibbs said...

Anonymous i was wondering if someone would put that together. You win the comment of the month award.

Dr Zibbs said...

OK who is anonymous because I cant stop laughing at this comment.

Andrea Kiliany Thatcher said...

You know I wish I was anonymous but I'm not. I also applaud anyone standing up for quiet in the library. I politely approached someone screaming about something on their cell phone for over 5 minutes once and said something like "I'm sorry, but do you think you could finish your call outside?" and she didn't respond to me at all but said to the person on the phone "I've gotta go this bitch is telling me I can't talk on the cell phone in here." I was FLABBERGASTED. And you can imagine how hard it is to render me speechless. She was gone before I could think of a retort.

I also felt like a library justice vigilante.

Dr Zibbs said...

Andrea - So you ARE admitting I'm a hero. My quick response to the car crash 6 months ago didn't do it but this did. I knew you would come around.

Andrea Kiliany Thatcher said...

I will dub you library justice vigilante, I still think hero is stretching it. You have common decency and a big mouth. Congratulations. :P

I love making you hate me.

Dr Zibbs said...

Andrea - Yes!