But there is one thing I do that I'm not proud of. Sometimes when I'm done chewing gum I'll discreetly drop it on the ground in a parking lot. Something about the idea of someone stepping it then just cracks me up. Does that make me a dick? Maybe. I just can't help myself I tells ya!
Kid: I stepped in gum!
Mom: Oh Timmy why don't you watch where you're going! (as if everyone can spot a piece of gum). Let me see....Oh my God what a mess!
The mom then takes a tissue out of her purse to try and clean it off. As if THAT'S going to work.
A content Zibbs watches the scene from the bushes.
Actually I would feel bad if a kid stepped in it. In my head only assholes step in it. A 50 year old blabbermouth yenta. An old racist factory worker named Bob. Brice, the playground bully. Wow. When you look at it that way I'm kinda performing a public service.
And on other gum dropping related news I remember years ago working with this goody goody chick and she stepped in gum in the parking lot and said, "Oh my God! I stepped in gum! Who DOES that?! Why would anyone DO that?!!"
You had to hear how she said it. She was so horrified at the thought that she lives in a society where someone would drop a piece of gum. It's as if she just discovered her tires were slashed and pig's blood thrown all over her windshield. Listen sweetheart. It's gum. Get over it OK?