It's been two years. And I still haven't run into the lady that used to cut my hair. I'm not sure why I waited so long to dump her ass. Not only did she tell the most boring stories about herself but she was super skanky. I'm talking manly face, dry hair, large moles....But she thought she was hot. She would always tell me how guys liked her. I'd be all, "Really?" While trying not to have a throw up face on.
I think a lot of women that are thin and skanky think they're hot just because they're thin. Kind of like some women with blond hair think they're hot because of the blond hair.
And I'm not kidding her stories were the most boring I've ever heard. She would give details that didn't even matter for the story. I swear this is a real "story." See how much of it you can take....
"So I was going to go to the 76ers game but wasn't sure if Dave my husband could go or not. He usually does go but he was thinking about working late so I was like, 'Maybe I'll just ask my friend Diane.' So I called up Diane. She's really nice. She used to work with me when I was at my last job. She was like, 'I'm not sure but I think I can.' So she calls back and says she can and I was like, 'Great.' And it worked out perfectly because my son was going to stay late for basketball practice so my husband could just pick him up. So I'm getting ready and I'm really in the mood for a turkey wrap. So I'm thinking why don't we just get some wraps on the way down and that way we don't have to stop because I like to get there a little early. So I pick up Diane and I was running a bit late because I had to stop at Wawa. And there was traffic. So I get Diane and we're on the way down and my son called and his basketball practice was cancelled. Which is fine but sometimes it's hard to get a hold of my husband because he gets the worst cell phone reception."
And it goes on. And on. And on.
And there's no interesting point. It would just be the details of her plans to go to the basketball game and then driving there. And I was just sit and nod. Sometimes to amuse myself I would say things in my head silently that I wanted to say out loud like, "Guess what? I don't give a shit!" or "Wait. Tell me the part about maybe getting turkey wraps. That's so interesting! I have a friend that likes turkey wraps!
So finally I dumped her and never looked back. Now I have a super cute chick cutting my locks. AND she's really interesting.
I still don't get how people that are really boring can be blabbermouths too Don't they see the expression on the faces of everyone they talk to? So I'm saying this: If you're boring keep your pie hole shut and listen to us interesting types. Take notes.