Thursday, October 25, 2012

Can't Believe I Haven't Run Into My Skanky Old Hair Dresser.





It's been two years. And I still haven't run into the lady that used to cut my hair. I'm not sure why I waited so long to dump her ass. Not only did she tell the most boring stories about herself but she was super skanky. I'm talking manly face, dry hair, large moles....But she thought she was hot. She would always tell me how guys liked her. I'd be all, "Really?" While trying not to have a throw up face on.

I think a lot of women that are thin and skanky think they're hot just because they're thin. Kind of like some women with blond hair think they're hot because of the blond hair. 

And I'm not kidding her stories were the most boring I've ever heard. She would give details that didn't even matter for the story. I swear this is a real "story." See how much of it you can take....

"So I was going to go to the 76ers game but wasn't sure if Dave my husband could go or not. He usually does go but he was thinking about working late so I was like, 'Maybe I'll just ask my friend Diane.' So I called up Diane. She's really nice. She used to work with me when I was at my last job. She was like, 'I'm not sure but I think I can.' So she calls back and says she can and I was like, 'Great.' And it worked out perfectly because my son was going to stay late for basketball practice so my husband could just pick him up. So I'm getting ready and I'm really in the mood for a turkey wrap. So I'm thinking why don't we just get some wraps on the way down and that way we don't have to stop because I like to get there a little early. So I pick up Diane and I was running a bit late because I had to stop at Wawa. And there was traffic. So I get Diane and we're on the way down and my son called and his basketball practice was cancelled. Which is fine but sometimes it's hard to get a hold of my husband because he gets the worst cell phone reception."

And it goes on. And on. And on.

And there's no interesting point. It would just be the details of her plans to go to the basketball game and then driving there. And I was just sit and nod. Sometimes to amuse myself I would say things in my head silently that I wanted to say out loud like, "Guess what? I don't give a shit!" or "Wait. Tell me the part about maybe getting turkey wraps. That's so interesting! I have a friend that likes turkey wraps!

So finally I dumped her and never looked back. Now I have a super cute chick cutting my locks. AND she's really interesting.

I still don't get how people that are really boring can be blabbermouths too Don't they see the expression on the faces of everyone they talk to? So I'm saying this: If you're boring keep your pie hole shut and listen to us interesting types. Take notes.

20 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Imagine that blabber for a half hour. And sometimes when she got to the "interesting parts" she would stop cutting and just talk.

BamaTrav said...

Don't lie Doc, you KNOW the only reason you like the new girl is the titty rub when she bends over you and the unavoidable "cat" rub you do with your elbow.

Dr Zibbs said...

Bama hey i aint no homo.

Heff said...

Ugly boring girls need attention & love, too !

Give me her address, and I'll do the ENTIRE MALE POPULATION a service by stuffing my dick in her mouth.

Dr Zibbs said...

Heff you dont want her. Trust me.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

Boring blabbermouths are the worst. Don't ya just want to say, "Do I look like someone who gives a flying f*ck"?

Scope said...

Yeah, and you know if you make a face or lip off, they are going to F' up your hair.

Dr Zibbs said...

Scope she wasnt that good either.

Annika said...

Yeah, I cut my own hair. Because I'm hot and have the most funny story to tell myself XD.

Seriously though, a bad hairdresser can ruin you for weeks. In several ways.

Dr Zibbs said...

Annika i'll have to write a post about my worst haicut.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

My husband always says we'd be surprised at how little people care about your shit. It's so true.

And what was it about her that kept u coming back? U said she wasn't a good hair stylist and that she made you want to hurl on occasion? Are u like me? I just can't seem to shake people that are detrimental to me. Like I'm afraid to not be nice or something

Dr Zibbs said...

Candy the only reason i stayed with her is because i could always call her up and she would fit me right in.

Gorilla Bananas said...

The worst thing is you can't be rude or she'd give you a Mohican. Did she ever talk about her sex life? I'd be quite interested to know whether her husband closed his eyes... or grabbed her neck.

Dr Zibbs said...

Gorilla bananas no but she did tell me a tory once about how her sons friend has a crush on her. Which im sure was BS.

Scope said...

Just heard a weather report from Chester County. Hope things are well in the West Chester That Blue Yak Bunker. Stay safe.

Dr Zibbs said...

Thank you sir. The worst is hitting now.

Dawn @Lighten Up! said...

Smile and nod, zibbs, smile and nod.
Then go get a turkey wrap.

Dr Zibbs said...

Dawn - Haha.

TC said...

I bet you'd NEVER leave your hairdresser if she was Lucille, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pu3VMqgx2MQ

Dr Zibbs said...

TC - HAHA!!!!!! I love the facial expressions!!