Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Lions Share Restaurant 9th Grade Grinding Story. Drunk Hostess. Cans Pressed Into My Back.

I ran into this woman the other week and it hit me. I totally forgot about about this story.  I WAS SEXUALLY HARASSED!

Not that I was complaining about it but....

It was in 9th grade and I was a busboy at the Lions Share Restaurant. There was this hostess that was probably around 23 years old I would guess. Kind of cute but on the chubby side. Big boobs. And she was always friendly but she would occasionally sneak drinks from the bar and get bombed throughout the night.

And when she did she was alllllll hands. I remember walking back from the kitchen and it was starting to wind down so I stopped in the hostess area. I leaned over and was looking at the reservation book (young butt glistening - the woft of beef wellington, clams casino and French onion soup clinging to his tight Levis) when all of a sudden I feel these hands around my waist and it was her. Audry. And she grinds up against me and all drunk and what not says, "What are YOU doing out here?"

I stand up and I'm all "What the??" Then she pulls me in and smooshes her huge 23 year old 1979 cans into my back and leans to the side of my face and says, "So what are YOU doin'?"

Then I got all nervous, probably gulped and squeaked out, "Ummm cleaning tables?" I stood there for a minute thinking, "I can feel her boobs!" Then I kind of slipped away. She did it a few times after that then it never happened again. I forget.

Man talk about a missed opportunity. But It would be a few years until I developed my game. I didn't know what to do. And for the record she was super nutty. I think she was mental or on drugs because once on a busy Saturday night I walked out and was holding a chair and repeatedly walking into the wall with it and bouncing back as she looked at the wall in a zombie like state. I had to run to the kitchen and get the cook to come and get her.

And before you all start getting worked up with the visual of what happened it wasn't that hot. Because in 9th grade I didn't look like this:


I looked a bit more like this:


Without the glasses. Or the part in the hair. Hmmmmm....maybe I WAS hot!

To read the story I wrote about when some dude crapped his pants at the Lion Share click here.

21 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Man. Matt Dillon was a dreamboat.

TC said...

It might be a little early in the morning for me to go reading poop stories. I'll save that one for later.

Dr Zibbs said...

TC - I agree. Pooping stories are a best post dinner/pre dessert.

NotesFromAbroad said...

There is something to be said for the boys that looked like the boy who does not look like Matt Dillon..they always seem to grow up to be quite handsome.
Thank you for your comment on the Mad Housewife blog ..

Dr Zibbs said...

Notes from A Broad - Yeah but his ears did get kinda big. Just sayin'.

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

DANG, wonder if Audrey is still a cougar?

Dr Zibbs said...

Jiirf ill ask her if i see her again.

TexWisGirl said...

oh dear oh dear. but you did make me laugh.

thanks for stopping by today. :)

Kenneth Noisewater said...

I love it when they mash their boobs into me, but at 14, I would have blown it too. Good story.

Dr Zibbs said...

You are welcome.

Dr Zibbs said...

Kn yeah i like that too.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Napoleon D was a huge star, ya know.

Dr Zibbs said...

Candy i know but look at him.

diane said...

My hair is starting to look like Matt Dylan's.
See how I make your sexual harassment post all about me? Yeah, I'm good like that.
btw, I don't think you ever looked like Napoleon Dynamite (don't know that actor's real name, does anyone). That waitress might have been nuts, but not enough to hit on a goober. Bet you were a little hottie.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane yeah maybe i wasnt as much of a goober. At least i didnt have that expression.

diane said...

Haha, yeah, how about that expression? Hope he got paid a lot for being typecast as Baby Huey.

Dr Zibbs said...

Diane - Did you ever see him without the hair and glasses. Looks kinda normal.

diane said...

kinda

LaVida said...

I worked as a bus girl at The Lion's Share from December of 79 until April of 1980. There was a hostess there who would refer to dirt on the tables as "cum" and tell us to clean it off. She might have been your lost molester Audry. I remember the guys in the kitchen asking me if I knew what a "bearded clam" was? I didn't, wtf I was 16. I remember the fantastic smell of the Shrimp Scampi they served there , it would come out sizzling on a plate of rock salt. My mouth would water everytime! Hello again Dr Zibbs!

Dr Zibbs said...

Lavida. Friend me on facebook! Jim zibbs

Dr Zibbs said...

Lavida. Friend me on facebook! Jim zibbs