What About The THIRD Choice? Thurston's Bitch. Gilligan's Island.

You always hear the question: "Who would you pick? Ginger or Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island."  Here's Ginger:

Nice. Now here's Mary Ann:

Oh yeah. I'd go with Mary Ann like most men. What do you think the percentage is? 75% to 25%? Probably.

But the real question is...how many people get mad and say, "Mary Ann or Ginger? Why don't I get to choose Lovey???" Here she is:

Don't lie. You want it. Look at her asleep...helpless...ready for the taking....Thurston is probably counting his money. Greedy ass bitch. Not tending to her needs...Mmmmmmm...Uh....I gotta go.

Remember These Terrible Sitcoms? Hello Larry. 70''s And 80's.

Here are some sitcoms that I wouldn't even spend 5 seconds to stop and make fun if I passed them on the dial. Although a few will never see the light of day so I'm safe.

Fish - Hated this show. Especially that slimy looking creep in the 33 Jersey. His mouth moved weirdly when he talked like he had marbles in there. But I did see Abe Vigoda coming out of my hotel once in LA.

Hello Larry - Different Strokes spin off. Great career move McLean Stevenson. Hmmmm stay on M.A.S.H or go on Hello Larry? Let me see.... Except Kim Richards there on the right? I used to have a crush on her. Did you know she's Paris Hilton's aunt?

Makin' It - They tried to ride the coat tails of Saturday Night Fever. And failed. And even used Travolta's sister in the cast. Nice try. But catchy gay ass theme song.

Jennifer Lived Here - Boy lives with a hot and sassy ghost. Dumb. But I had some drinks with that kid (as an adult) in a hotel bar a few years ago. He was thrilled to be recognized.

What A Country - Any show that has a 6:30 Saturday time slot is a failure in my book. Hated this show!

Gimme a Break - No YOU give me a break. Never could take more than a few minutes of this nonsense before angrily turning the channel. Why are there so man fat black ladies with attitude on sitcoms?

They're just a few random ones. There are so many more.

Fattest Twins Guinness Book of World Records. McGuire Twins. Fatty McFat Fatso.

Check out these fat fucks!

Remember these guys? The fattest twins Bill and Benny McGuire. If you're around my age you remember seeing them in the Guinness Book of World Records in the seventies. Man I used to love me some freaks in that book. Dude with longest nails, cow with extra legs coming out it's back, Mark Spitz's mustache. All of it.

And damn it! After setting up this post I realized that I already wrote a post about these lard asses! Damn it! I'm almost running out of things to write about here!

But on the subject of identical twins, do they usually die within a few weeks of each other? I Googled this a few months ago and couldn't find out. And before someone says, "I know of a set of twins that died a week a part. Some say of a broken heart...." - I ain't buyin' it.

And wouldn't it suck to be the slightly less good looking twin? And you hear everyone pointing it out?

Are any of you guys twins?

In other Guinness Book freak news here's one of my posts that made me crack up when I wrote it - to read it click the word Sandy.

Inventions That Were Huge When I Was Growing Up. VCR. 70s and 80's.

There it is. The kitchen from 1979. And look at the white appliance in the corner. It's a microwave. That is one of several inventions that I remember as being a big deal when I was growing up. Imagine wanting to heat something up and you had to preheat an oven or toaster oven!! It's just a waste of my time! You kids have it too good!

And the microwaves always came with a cookbook showing these elaborate meals you could make. No thanks. I'll stick to reheating. And I'm glad I sold my stock of hot popcorn popper companies the year before or I would have lost my shirt!

Here are a few other noteworthy inventions of my childhood that brought us into the world of tomorrow...

*hazy camera waves to indicate dreamy flashback*

What have we here? That my friend is a VCR. I think they became popular around 1979 (9th grade for me) but  I could be wrong. The great thing about the VCR was that you could actually watch a movie and not have to wait for it to come on one of your five channels. When I was a kid the Wizard of Oz came on once a year. And if you missed? Tough luck. Here's a tissue for your tears. Wait till next year.

Also, it was a chance to see some skin if you know what I mean. The only skin before that was maybe some nipple on Charlie's Angels or Three's Company. And come to think of it that wasn't even skin! It was fabric. Erect, nipple fabric penetrating through the shirt of  Farrah or Suzanne Somers. Or Maude*.

Next up? The TV remote. But guess what? This ad is from 1958??? Why did it take so long for remotes to become popular?? If I recall correctly remotes weren't common until about 1975 at least because I remember even seeing a commercial for a TV with a remote and my dad pulling down his newspaper and saying, "A remote control for your television? Now who is THAT lazy they can't get up from their couch, walk over to the television and turn the channel?" Then he shook his head and went back to reading the paper.

To read about my salute to hot dog cookers click here.

*In other nipple related news I remember a friend saying, "Did you see 'The Deep' last night on the ABC Movie of the week? You could see Jacqueline Bisset's nipples through her white t-shirt!" Sadly I missed it.