I really don't have any major regrets. Like girls I was really embarrassed of the next day. Well, maybe a few but... But hearing that a friend hooked up with a slob was always hysterical. The funniest ever was when Prickler hooked up with this one chick in Sophomore year. In fact it was probably the hardest I've laughed in my life.
Me: (going into his room) So did you hook up with anyone last night when I left the party?
Me: Oh yeah? Who?
Prickler: She's in my Marketing class. She has like big lips and curly hair?
Me: (I'm thinking like voluptous lips and beautiful curls) And I know her?
Prickler: Yeah you've seen her in the cafeteria. She lives in Old Main? She's always with that chick that Budwin went out with?
Me: Are you sure I know her?
Prickler: Yeah. And you said she was in your English class.
Me: (realization of who it might be) Wait. The chick with the huge lips and fro and she kind of shakes her head and she looks nervous all the time?
Prickler: Yeah that's her. She has a really nice body.
I literally fell on the floor laughing. Just searching my memory for who it was and then it popped in there. This girl was home-leeee! Do you know Jimmy Carter's lips? They were like that but if they had been stung by bees. I'm telling you I couldn't even catch my breath.
And Prickler was sitting there saying, "Well. She did have a nice body."
I think I laughed for 15 minutes. Tears steaming.
I think the only time I came closer to laughing that hard was when I was walking down the hall in the dorms and I see my friend basically being held up and lead to his room by a female beast woman. He said the next day he was basically raped. And we found out a few weeks later that another friend was with this same girl. She looked like Quasimodo and would go to parties and prey on the drunkest Freshman guy there and take them back and do them. You girls. *shakes head*
I would pay for video of their reaction when they woke up the next day. Oh the horror.
Oh and now it has me thinking of one other regretful tale that a woman friend told me once. She was in college and went back to the apartment of some goofball. They were going to hook up but when she went into the bathroom she had regrets so instead of just leaving she climbed out the window to escape. She was on the second floor! Ha! I wonder how long the dude was outside the door saying, "Kristen? Are you OK in there? Kristen? Hello???"