Do You Want To Interview Me? Dr Zibbs.

I haven't done an interview in a while so here we go. I'll do two interviews.

Email me at Lebner1 at Yahoo Dot Com and in the subject line write, "I want an interview".

You can ask me up to 10 questions via email. I'll answer you then you can write a post about the interview. I'll then write a post linking to your interview.

Your post should be up this Thursday.

Once the 2 people have contacted me I'll let you know in the comments. So first come, first served. GOOD LUCK!

Happy Birthday To Dr Zibbs 2010. Twitter And Facebook Goin' Crazy.

"He awoke and walked to the mirror. After screaming "WHY?" He stared into the mirror and cried. For like 25 minutes."

It was his birthday. A man named Dr Zibbs."

"Then, he went to his computer and saw all of the birthday greeting from his Blog and Twitter followers. He knew it had nothing to do with him reminding them his birthday was coming up. He knew, as others do that people wrote reminders on calendars. They made use of the "tickler file" system. Some called their work phones to remind themselves of this special day. January 8th."

"Later, when Dr Zibbs looked on his blackberry, there were even MORE greeting from Facebook followers. He was humbled."

(Close up of the back of a super classy wicker chair. The chair turns and Dr Zibbs appears)

Hi everyone. I'm the Internets Dr Zibbs. And I'd like to thank you all for the birthday wishes.

There really were so many wishes sent my way. It almost makes me feel bad for people that have no friends and then on their birthday the phone rings and they run to it in anticipation and it just Kohl's on the phone or something. Something about some candles that were on back order or something. I don't know. Maybe that person is you. Who knows? If it is though, stop selfishly thinking about yourself on this day and start celebrating my birth. Zibbs style.

And remember, gifts are God's way of saying you care*.

*Cash gifts are always welcome but get creative. What about emailing me a coupon for beers that you're going to buy me when you meet me? And be sure to write "no expiration date" on it because if you even say that the coupon expired when I finally meet you I will turn around and walk right out of the bar. I will. Also, I do NOT want a snuggie.

Tomorrow Is A Very Special Day. Viva Las Vegas. Elvis.

I'm not one to toot my own horn.

I don't even own a horn. I don't even know where I would rent one! Seriously.

But I want to (shyly) give you a heads up that tomorrow, JANUARY 8TH.. IS MY BIRTHDAY. THE BIRTHDAY OF ME...DR ZIBBS.

And it's also the birthday of the King. Elvis. So here's a little Viva Las Vegas to play while you're wrapping my present or writing my birthday poem*.



*Please, don't chinz on the gift. It's embarrassing for everyone.

A Very Important Message From THAT BLUE YAK. PRESS CONFERENCE.

It is true! I AM the most important person on the internet. Look at all of those comments. It's unheard of. It's gotta be some kind of record.

I was gonna wait until I got 100 comments but I changed my mind. Plus, I don't want to be responsible for any suicides.

Now here is my statement:

If I read the post about me bitching, my response would have been something along the lines of "Stop being a big baby". Which is what many of you wrote. I honestly wrote that post in a minute because I was in a pissy mood. So there you go.

But some of the comments just baffle me.

As for needing validation? Of course I do.

As for writing and not caring who reads it? Hell no. That's like writing something, then printing it out and throwing it in the trash. That's no fun.

But the comment that really blew my mind was from Katrocket.* She wrote:

Why would we want to read a blog that's all about how awesome you think your blog is? You're not very funny. You regularly insult your readers. And obviously you have some weird issues about commenting. That's not very interesting.

I honestly TRIED to figure you out for a while because i saw some potential, but when you sent a bunch of people over to my blog to guilt me into writing comments on YOUR blog, that was the last straw. Now I just think you're a jerk.

Now fuck off or get on with it. The choice is yours.

Really? A dick move is sending readers to your blog to guilt you into commenting? HAHAHA. Why would that bother somebody? Somebody, please tell me. Isn't half the fun of leaving comments saying something goofy? How could someone feel guilted into leaving a comment?

Insulting readers? Of course I do. I often call them peasants or the commoners but who reading this blog would be offended? It's so absurd it makes me laugh.

And saying how awesome my blog is?? It is though. That's exactly what this blog is about. Being a self absorbed, clueless parody. How could anyone not get that after reading a few posts? I don't get it.

And saying I'm not very funny? That's fine. I'm not going to please everyone all the time. I get people saying some posts are too weird and others saying to write more about myself so I'm never gonna please everyone. But I do get lots of comments and emails saying I'm hyterical. So whatever.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to pick up my capes from the dry cleaners.

Let the comments begin.

*and I do truelly hope you keep reading my blog. Perhaps reading it aloud or with a friend would make it funnier. I don't know.

Ask Dr Zibbs. What Would YOU Like To Know? West Chester Blogger.

I've granted interviews in the past. I will now like to answer some more individual questions that YOU the reader would like to know.

What do you want to know about ME?

Do you need some advice?

Do you want my opinion on something in your life?

Of course you do. Here's what to do. Send me an email with "DR ZIBBS QUESTION" in the subject line. If you want a link to your blog, make sure to leave your blog name in the subject area of the email. My email address is Lebner1 at Yahoo Dot Com (see what I did there so the bots don't pick it up?)

Now I'm not saying I'm going to answer all of the questions so please don't phone your family just yet. Just hold your horses and see what happens.

I'll post the answers in a few days.

My Self Portrait Rodney Dangerfield. Valuable Art. Dr Zibbs.

Today I got all arty and created a self portrait. The medium was pen.

I posted it on Twitter. Here's what it looked like:

A few people commented but the one comment that stood out was by Kristen*. She said that the more she looked at it, the more it looks like Rodney Dangerfield. And she's right. See:



The only thing is, I look nothing like Rodney. I guess I'm just a crappy artist? No, it couldn't be. Could it? There has to be some kind of in between.

Yeah. That's got to be it.

*And you should follow her blog because she's interesting. Do you hear that boring people? ...Not YOU..I'm talking about the boring people. Yeah YOU.

BREAKING NEWS: Bloggers That Meet On My Blog Get Engaged. No Lie!

Some of my non-blogging friends think that blogging is stupid. "What's to come of it?" they say...

Well I'm proud to announce that two bloggers that have admitted they met in the comments section of my blog have gotten engaged*. I'm not kidding.

Many of my regular readers know them. It's Scope and Cora. But for those that don't know the story, they admitted to meeting in my comments section, then they started dating. Scope lives in Illinois and Cora's on the West coast so it was a bit of a long distance relationship. They've blogged often about their relationship.

So they JUST got engaged. Here's the video when Scope pops the question:



*I wonder if anyone ever got pregnant from reading my blog? Who know?

Somebody To Love. I Need A Karaoke Song. Queen.

Just like a boy scout, you need to be prepared. And I'm not prepared...if I walk into a bar sometime and karaoke is happening and people are like, "Come on Zibbs! You need to get up there and do a song!"

I'm really unprepared. I've only done Karaoke in public twice. The first time was in Media PA after being out for a friend's birthday. We had come back from Philly in a limo (classy) and everyone was pretty fired up. A group of us did The Weight - by The Band.

It was one of the worst things you ever heard. They were so throwing me off. Terrible.

The second time was in China. Karaoke is HUGE in China. So we were out with some factory reps and interpreters and they took us to this karaoke place. It was a freestanding building just dedicated to Karaoke. We had our own room. I forget what song I did but it was a Motown song. They clapped like crazy but it was not a great performance.

So here's a song that I might need to practice - Queen's, "Somebody to Love" as performed my George Michael. You know..so I'm prepared and all.

I'm Famous! Kind of..Breaking News! Sarah Silverman and Twitter.

OK. Hold on and try not to get too excited.

What do the following people have in common:

John Stamos
Blues Traveler
Dave Attell
Judd Apatow
Larry David
And ME have in common?

These people are all being followed by Sarah Silverman on Twitter. It's true. The alter ego that I made up last week on twitter called @FatherKelly is being followed by @SarahKSilverman. And she only follows 116 people.

Don't believe me? Go to my page on twitter here:
http://twitter.com/FatherKelly

I want everyone to know that since I'm probably going to get a call to move to Hollywood soon, I'm not going to forget you people. Well, I won't be able to take your calls or anything because of my new status but I will occasionally skim your blogs.

See you in Hollywood chumps.

..I mean chums

Various Things About Food And Me...Dr Zibbs. Non Robot Stuff.

So in response to Whiskey Marie I will now talk about various food related things. Feel free to do a similar list and link to your list in the comments:

What food makes you sick?: Beets. I can't even stand the smell of them.

What is a food habit that you can't stand?: People that have to sniff their food before eating it. Not a simple smell followed by, "this smells great", it's a sniff as if they think something might be in the food that's bad.

What food habit did your sister used to have growing up that you couldn't stand?: She used to eat one potato chip at a time then quickly lick each finger and her thumb before getting another chip. I know she was doing it just to annoy me but she never admitted it.

What food cracks you up?: The zucchini and the cucumber. Especially when they're sitting in a work kitchen and you hear people say, "Look at the size of this cucumber!" It's just so phallic that it cracks me up. I must admit that whenever I have a cucumber and my wife is near I can't resist sneaking up behind her, rubbing it on her and groaning. She never finds it as funny as I do.

What vegetable couldn't you live without? : Onions.

Food gadgets you remember as a child?: There was the hot air popcorn machine with the built in butter melter that my mom got with green stamps. And the hot dog cooker that looked like a space age toy with prongs that the wieners would be inserted into. They always tasted like terrible.

Food that was hidden, then discovered on the top shelf of your room?: Hot dogs with paper towel used for handle. Hot dogs were all my brother would eat for a while. When he got sick of them he would throw them on our top shelf.

Without mentioning robots, how do you think cooking in the future will be better?: I can't wait until they can breed pigs that can cook each other. Like they'll be three pigs and they'll draw straws. The loser gets cooked by the other two while you sit on your deck and watch.

Then what will you do with the other two pigs?: Uh...Robots will cook them?

What is an annoying thing that bothers you about women and food?: I hate the women that go on and on about dessert. Especially when you're eating with a crowd and they answer the waiter by saying, "Oh there's ALWAYS room for dessert." There is? Then quit blabbin' about your diet so much when you're so into dessert.

Food you once projectile vomited after being wasted, drinking 151 then eating 4 of them? Ring Dings.

Are there other food questions you want answered? Ask me in the comments area.

The First Time I've Asked Readers What To Post About. Blog.

I usually have a lot of stuff to post about but I thought I'd let you the reader give some suggestions.

So is there any topic that you'd like me to post about? A real life thing? Curious about things I'm into or you want my opinion on something?

Has your pastor not been giving you the advice that you want?

So what is it? Are there any questions, subjects or past posts that you'd like me to elaborate on?

Let me know in the comments area. And I'll pick one. Or maybe more.

Good luck.

A Few Things About Me. China. Priest. Simpsons.

Here are a few lists of five things in various categories.

A few Countries I've been to:

England

Italy

Germany

China

Mexico

A few jobs I would never want:

Priest

Financial Analyst

Lawyer

Anything to do with retail

Longshoreman

Some chicks I've fooled around with:

Korean

Black

A model

This one chick that was way older than me.

Philly Ball girl.

Some types of people that I don't like to talk to:

Boring people.

People that don't get my sense of humor.

Bad breath people.

People that are looking around the room while I'm talking to them.

Yenta's or women that won't shut about about their kids.

Some things that I've collected or currently collect:

Simpsons action figures

Homies

Zippo Lighters

Ashtrays

My own toenails (for practical joke purposes)

Some things I love to drink:

Beer (no light beer please)

Red wine

Scotch on the rocks

Water

Margaritas

There you go. Man was this a crappy post.

Hot Blogger Dedicates Nude Pic to Me...Another Hot Blogger.

It's so very touching* when a hot blogger takes a nude picture and dedicates it to me.

I'm challenging more of you to do the same (sorry - no dudes). Come on. Live a little. To view the picture in all it's beauty click the words: Ladybug Graveyard.

*Get it - touching? Touching like you're "touching" someone that's nude. Yeah...you get it.

I've Been Told I Look Like Him. Errol Flynn. Twins?

I've been told by a few people that I resemble Errol Flynn. Well..only a few people. It was always my aunts and some other older people. You know how they can be...

But looking at this video though....I think there is a bit of a resemblance in some of the photos if I don't say so myself*.



* of course I haven't had a cheesy mustache for years but....

Dr Zibbs Comes Out of Hiding. I Know - It's A Big Blogger Day.

A drumroll please........

Taaadaaa! Since I still want to stay kind of anonymous, I've posted a picture from about 18 - 20 years ago. I know it's over 16 years old because I have butt in my hand.

OK. Before everyone jumps in and says I'm a nerd, this is a very old picture of me AND I have contacts now. I also don't have a cheesy ass mustache anymore. And I'm much thinner now too. Damn have I aged well.

Do you know what I do have though? I still have that shirt..better get rid of that thing.

But I don't have the computer. I'm strictly a laptop man now.

So there you go. You've seen me.

Dr Zibbs Will Be Posting A Picture of Himself. Carly Simon. You're So Vain.

I will be posting a picture of myself tomorrow. Yes. It's true. I may leave it up all day or maybe I'll just post it for a few hours so you better be checking out my blog.

And anyone who copies and pastes it onto their blog will get the wrath of me. When it's gone it's gone. So you might want to team up and take shifts.

So in anticipation, I will play this Carly Simon song, "You're so Vain". (You're..meaning me)

Good luck trying to sleep tonight.

Exotic Dancer Interviews Me - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

As I mentioned about two weeks ago - I love the blog of Prunella De Ville. She's got such a great sense of humor and she just cracks me up.

And she recently reached out (or reached around) to me via email and she's as fascinating in email form as she is in blogger form. And she also gave me one of the best compliments a blogger has ever given me - she went into detail about how funny my writing was - it made me feel great. God, don't you people know that the quickest way to my heart and maybe into my pants is compliments?

So if you want to read a hysterical interview of me (especially the picture she paints in the preview) - hold onto your hats and click here.

And I love the image of me as a 400 year old vampire/werewolf hybrid. Sweet. I mean....it's an accurate description. That's what I meant to say.

Dr Zibbs Interviewed By Kansas Nurse Blogger.

Shawn from the blog Kansas Chaos was the first win an intreview with me this week. To read it click here.

She leaves some funny comments on my blog too. So check it out. I'll be posting the 2nd interview later so don't forget to check back.

And don't cry because you didn't win the chance. Maybe you'll win someday. The odds are very high but you must believe.

Who Would Like To Interview Me? - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

I am now opening up the lines for 2 people that want to interview me as I did a few weeks ago. If you do want to interview me:

- Email me saying: "I want to interview you" in the subject line.
- When I give you the OK, you can then email me up to 10 questions. I will answer these questions. I have the right to say "not tellin'"
- Note that I will NOT be coming to your home.
- You will then post the interview on your site on Wednesday and I'll link to it.

Please look at my comments section because when I write, THE LINES ARE CLOSED - the two spaces are taken.

And the crying can start. Good luck!

25 Things About Me - Dr Zibbs From That Blue Yak.

OK, everyone does this but here are 25 things about me.

1. When I'm alone, I talk and sing to myself. If I recorded it, you'd probably be pretty entertained.

2. I have ADHD.

3. I love taking baths. As long as I have a few beers to drink and something to read in there. As a matter of fact, I had one tonight then went to a neighbor's house with my wife to watch Slumdog Millionaire.

4. I've plucked a chicken.

5. One time two older kids tied me to a tree using just my legs.

6. I have two kids. A boy -15 and a girl - 12.

7. Despite what you read on my blog, if you met me in real life you'd be surprised that I'm pretty normal.

8. I collect Zippo lighters. And I used to collect Homies, Simpson stuff, old advertising stuff, ashtrays, pez and belt buckles. Except for the Zippos - all of the other stuff is in my attic.

9. I can ride a unicycle.

10. I'm terrible at math. Sometimes I use my fingers to add.

11. I've been to China. Deep, deep into China where white people have never been. (I'll write a post about this soon).

12. I have a birthmark on my knee that looks like the Caspian Sea.

13. I did a duathalon a few years ago. 5k run - 10 mile bike - 5k run.

14. I used to do stand up comedy.

15. I've developed over 3000 products including Jack Daniels, Disney and Warner Brothers products.

16. I rarely lie.

17. Some of my favorite foods are crawfish, ribeye steaks and pistachios.

18. I have pictures of myself with many celebs including Sally Jessie Raphael.

19. I just remembered the other week that I have a list of every woman that I've ever been with - with details. I hid the list somewhere years ago so I'd have it when I'm old and I'm now trying to remember where it is.

20. When traveling, one of my favorite things is going to bars and meeting strangers. No, not just women. Just interesting people. I wish had started a travel journal years ago.

21. I have a phobia of retarded people. Especially when they see me and approach me.

22. I had a dream I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone. Naaaaaaaa. Naaaaaaa. Naaaaaaa.

23. I used to go to England all the time for work and sadly, every picture I took was lost. Stupid computers.

24. I hate rap but I can make up freestyle rhymes/rap in a flash.

25. If I could do anything for a job I would write for a sketch comedy show.