Beauty, Mismatched Couples, Numbers, Ugly People. Sex Techniques.

I love watching people.

And I like to rate people with numbers. Before I meet someone, it's obviously based just on looks. Like when you're walking through the mall or down the boardwalk and you see a couple, you rate them on a scale of one to ten.

Don't lie - you do it too.

But then if someone has a really great, charismatic personality, or they're really funny, really interesting or super sweet (chicks only), they may get a few more points from me. It's my scale and that's how it works.

Usually, couples are pretty close to their partner in number though. It's not that often that I'm thinking, "What the hell is she doing with him? Once in a while but it's not that often.

Then, once in a while you get the four point people difference. It's pretty rare. "Wait a minute!You're a five but she's an nine! What up wit dat brudda?" I find that it's usually money. Rich goofy ass dudes matched with good looking chicks that don't feel like working.

Have you ever met a couple that was more than four points apart?

And on a related subject, do you chicks ever tell your girl friends that they've got to sleep with some dude because he's so great in bed? I like to think that you do. And that it's happened to me. You know - because I'm so great in bed. Seriously. Your head would spin. I'm not making this up.

Except make sure to freshen up.

Gypsy Foot Care Video Played AGAIN On Blog. Pa Salons and Spas.

Seeing the That Blue Yak merchandise on my last post got me thinking about the early days of my blog. And that got me thinking about my video for the Gypsy Foot Care Factory.

It's an original video made by me - Dr Zibbs. I post it up on my famous blog about every few months not just to torture my older readers but to treat my new readers who may have never seen it. And listen to one of my crazzzzy voices in that video. It doesn't even sound like me - does it?

What do you think?

Breaking News. Someone Bought 2 TBY Mugs. Feed the Ogre.

It's true! Someone bought 2 That Blue Yak mugs from here:


buy unique That Blue Yak gifts at Zazzle

Was it you? Maybe it was you? Or perhaps (looking around)....wait....was it YOU?

Seriously, was it you? And don't lie.

And my good real life friend McGlinch from Feed the Ogre did the design a long time ago so check out his blog if you want to see a great music blog that talks about music (half of which are groups I've never heard of).

But check out his blog anyway and tell him I sent you because he promised me a few sips of the $6 he made off of the mugs he sold. Maybe I'll get a full beer if he gets enough visitors.

And if you're wondering why he gets the money from TBY stuff it's because he did the art for free and I told him if I ever start selling a lot of stuff I'll just dump him. It happens.

Now go and buy some TBY stuff. Thanks.

Phantom of the Paradise. What The? Paul Williams.

So Sunday night, after an exhausting weekend of going to a wedding Saturday then a Communion on Sunday and basically just being fabulous, I was ready to get to bed early.

Until I turned the TV on.

And there he was. Paul Williams. In a 1974 movie called Phantom of the Paradise. I like to think that I'm pretty versed in pop culture. Especially the 60's, 70's and 80's but I'm totally embarrassed to say I've never,ever heard of Phantom of the Paradise, I've never seen it in a book and I've never heard anyone refer to it.

How can this happen????

Because look how awesomely craptacular it is!!!! Has anyone else heard of this movie? I only saw the last half hour but I'll be renting it very shortly. And studying it. Scene by crappy scene.

Phat Mama Blogger Let Me Make Things Clear. Almost Naked Pictures.

Except for the male bloggers, I encourage all my readers to post pictures of themselves in various stages of undress. Like Phat Mama did here. And look how I was mentioned. I'm famous.

And if you read the comments of that post, you'll see that Phat Mama was unsure if sending me X-rated pics would be OK. Let me make something perfectly clear: (talking into bull horn) YES. IT IS OK.

In fact, it's also encouraged. And if you think about it, it's very,very natural. And you don't want to be un-natural do you? Seriously, we're all adults here.

And I won't repost them or anything.

And if you're too shy, some might think to take pictures of their roommates while they're sleeping or really drunk and forward those as well. Or perhaps wear a mask. It's really up to you. Remember, just be yourself.

And if I really do have Jesusy powers like I'm starting to think - I will reserve a spot for you in heaven.

Random Thoughts About Being in Church Today For A Communion.

Today I was in church for my nephew's Communion. Here are some random thoughts:

- I was able to sit in the very back pew. Sweet.

- The sermon was about how sheep can be "really stupid animals and they'll always be stupid unless they have a shepherd. And a priest is a shepherd". Are you kidding me? I swear he said this.

- Some 14 year old girl was about to puke and her mom had to run her out of the church. She was waving to people to get out of the way.

- There was this hot lady that I met before at a business function and I was checking her out during the mass. She looked kind of sad though. Like Sarah Connor from the Terminator.

- When it was time to kneel I was trying to put the pew down and my brother whispered. "You've got to be kidding me?" I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the mass. And then I was thinking how I wanted to pass him a note saying how much Jesus hated him (courtesy of Pru) and it just got me laughing more.

- When the collection plate came around I was thinking, "there's no way I'm putting a dime in". The five year old in front of me was given a $20 bill to put in. Is that the going rate?

Gotta go. The Simpsons are on in five minutes.

Tenacious D. Cosmic Shame. It's Acoustic Holmes!

And a bit of Tenacious D for you. It's a Cosmic Shame.

Seriously, it is...because "that shit came off of the top a my fuckin' head ya'll"

Enjoy it Holmes....

I Need Help Naming This Garden Creature in My West Chester Garden.

What the hell is this goofy ass bird? It's just a wooden sculpture that adds a little whimsy to my famous THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE - that's all. My famous West Chester, PA garden that is.

The problem is you see - it doesn't have a name. Would you like to name it? Leave your name suggestion in the comments section. I will then refer to the creature as your name. If you win that it.

And feel free to come up with a back story/legend or the use that this creature performs in my garden.

Now get to work.

Fat Bottomed Girls. Queen. Bloggers And Dr Zibbs.

Happy Friday. The Friday Send Off Song is dedicated to Phat Mama since she mentioned me in a post. I'm not really sure if she's fat or not so no disrespect but the song is Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.

Why don't YOU mention me in a post. Give it at try. Don't be shy.

Crank it up and enjoy! TGIF!



215 bloggers and growing. Slowly for some reason.

Questions That Maybe Bloggers Can Answer. Coleslaw. Shaving.

Here are some real questions that I'd like some answers to:

- I wonder how I should approach Twitter to get more blog followers? And where does this all end? Am I just wasting my time?

- Does anyone else think The Office has jumped the shark?

- Is there any subject that you'd really like me to blog about?

- How long until voice recognition works really good so I can write blog posts while driving?

- I need to get one of those man scaping razors. But where to start?

- Does anyone have a really, really great coleslaw recipe?

- Does anyone do TM? How long does it take a person to really get good at it? And I have ADHD so I have a very short attention span so take that into consideration.

Wake Up Fart Video Will Get You Laughing. Hysterical.

I'm going to take a short break from the mature content of this blog and give you this video of people waking each other up by farting on them.

What do you think? Enjoy the video.

Downingtown Farmers Market And Robot Hoax. Early Computers.

So Internet searcher - did you find this blog post because you had a bet with a friend that you were talking to a robot in the 80's at the Downingtown Farmers Market?

Well I've got some bad new for you. Calm down and have a seat.

..Let me explain this to my regular blog readers first. You see blog readers - years ago as I mentioned I worked at an audio store at the Downingtown Farmers Market. And we had a cheap version of a Mr Microphone.

Knowing the crap we were selling, it was probably called "Mizz Mikey" or "Mr Mike Talk" - because we sold mostly bootleg junk.

So we used to get really bored. And the owner didn't care if we drank beer while we worked so we were constantly screwing with people for the hell of it and to amuse ourselves. So we would take turns hiding behind the counter with the Mr Microphone bootleg device and screw with all of the hillbillies:

Me: (talking in robot voice) Attention Downingtown Farmers Market shoppers. My name is the Zarcon 5000 and I am a very advanced robot computer from Japan.

(hillbillies crowd into the store in amazement)

Hillbilly: OH MY GOD. What's going on?

Me: I see you. I'm a robot. By the way, I like that red, white and blue wolf t-shirt you are wearing.

Hillbilly: (looks down at his shirt) Oh my God! How can you see me?

Me: (remember -I'm still talking in robot voice) Look up at the large mirror. That is my electronical eye. I see all. Welcome to the Downingtown Farmers Market. And who is the snapping youngster next to you that is eating a funnel cake?

Hillbilly Kid: HE'S TALKING TO ME NOW!!!!

We would do this all night. Sometimes we would ask people to give us a math problem and we'd have a calculator behind the counter and tell them the answer. As if they really knew what 1034 times 345 was. But we'd tell them anyway.

One time I felt kind of bad because I was telling this 10 year old kid to stand on one foot, tap dance and imitate a chicken. Then his dad came up and grabbed him by the arm, "What the hell are you doing making an ass out of yourself?"

"No dad -it's a talking robot. It's the Zarcon 5000!"

The dad just looked at him and pulled him out of the store.

God I wish I had recorded those sessions.

So I guess what I'm trying to say to the hillbillies that fell for this and they went online to prove to their friends that they talked to an early robot in Downingtown ?....I'm afraid you just lost yourself a bet. Now hand over the jar of jam or the pocket knife or whatever it was that you lost in the bet. And from now on.....use your head. Don't believe everything you see.

Prunella and Furburgers and Jesus and Funny Ass Post.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

PA Blogger Calls For NYC Air Force One Debacle Firing.

The person who authorized the flying of Air Force One so close to NYC the other day for a photo op should be fired.

Case closed.

Did any of my New York readers see it? Here's a video of it.

Longwood Gardens. Smells. Flowers in Chester County. Concerts.

YO LADY! Get the hell out of my backyard!!! Just kidding. That image above is from Longwood Gardens in Southern Chester County. It's a world class garden in Chester County. The Duponts used to live there mind you.

Rich SOB's.

I was there the other week and thought I'd share the images with you.

And do you see what flowers in the front? Hyacinths. They're probably my favorite smell in the world. Whenever they're in bloom I cut them and put them in my car because I like the smell so much. I wonder if they make a perfume with that stench because I would totally start to make out with some chick if she wore that. Unless it was some old bat. Or a butterface chick....or....OK I'd be selective but you know what I mean.

What's your favorite smell? And don't say my pits.

And here's another picture:

Wow! It's a stage at Longwood Gardens. They've been having concerts there. How great would it be to see a concert in this paradise? Rufus Wainwright, Etta James and Boz Scaggs are all scheduled to be there soon. I like all three of them. Why don't you buy me a ticket and take me there? I'll totally do it.

Except you smuggle in the weed. I'm way too important for the big house unless I can be like the wiseguys on Goodfellas and be able to make my own food. And I would totally do the shaving garlic deal with the razor blade. You'll see.

And lastly, as a celebrity I was invited to attend an important event there in May. I'm still deciding whether to go. We'll see.

Marijuana Joint Not Found at Downingtown Movie Theater.

To the kid that was working at the Downingtown Regal theater and cleaned up the theater after I saw the movie Knowing yesterday. And he saw a joint sitting in the cup holder that I left. So he slipped it into his pocket then went into the bathroom to check it out more closely.

But then when he was examining it in the stall he realized it was just a twirled up napkin that Dr Zibbs just twisted because when he goes to the movies he does that as a habit. Especially scary movies. And it looks exactly like a joint.

My message to you is this:

SUCKKKKK-AAAAA!

Now get back to work. You missed some popcorn I dropped under my seat when the alien looking dude opened his mouth and scared Nicholas Cage.

West Chester. Blogger Meetup. Guinness. Kildare's.

So as you saw from my gripping Twitter Tweets on Friday I met with Swedish Chef at Kildare's in West Chester and a special guest blogger that met me for the first time - Andrew aka "Arod 138".

We had a great time in West Chester AND he even gave me a Guinness t-shirt that he won there. Probably because I was complaining like a baby how I didn't win. And I guess it's a good thing that I didn't win because the winners got their photos taken with the Guinness girl and then my identity would be splashed all over the internets. So to read Andrew's take on the Happy Hour, click here.

The TBY Garden Of Hope. West Chester Organic Veggies.

For new readers of TBY that haven't printed out and analyzed and framed all of my blogs posts, you may not be familiar with THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE. It's my Chester County vegetable garden. And it's underway for the season.

Now don't get all discouraged - I know - it doesn't look like much now. But print the photos out each week and post them up in a local rec center or your trailer park lobby and follow along as I grow things. Get the whole community involved and follow my progress. Some have been known to make their own color coding systems for better understanding.

Now I know many of my readers are not very smart, so by following along, you'll see that vegetables actually come from the ground.

It's true dummy!

Enjoy the journey!

Jimmy John's Hotdogs on West Chester Pike. Pig

Here's a hot digity dog I had at the famous Jimmy John's Hot Dogs on West Chester Pike a few weeks ago. I think I added too many onions.

Gilligans Island, Honeybees and Peter Brady Dancing Match.

So I'm taking a little break from working in the yard. And when I look out on my deck I see the carpenter bees I'll be killing later with my electric tennis racket (see actual image on my header above).

Then it got me thinking about when the gals on Gilligan's Island did their Honeybees routine.

I forgot just how bad Mrs Howell was. Once you finish watching the hotties, play it again and note how Lovey is terrible every second of the song. And I thought Peter Brady couldn't dance. Jesus Christ! What a fool. And when she says the word "ring" I want to rush the stage and tackle her snobby ass!

And Mary Ann here reminds me a bit of my wife when my wife had longer hair.

Guns N Roses. West Chester Lazy Blogger Dedicates To Nobody.

I'm in too much of a rush to dedicate the Friday Send Off Song bitches so here's Guns N' Roses doing Sweet Child O' Mine.

Did you used to hide behind a log pile when it looked like it was about to rain like Axel and me? Yeah - you did. Who didn't if you think about it?

So crank this one up and start dancing until your loved ones come in and ask, "What the HELL are you doing?" Then - shamefully turn off your computer and go back to cleaning things up or whatever else you were pretending to do. But remember - that I love you.

Most of you.



215 followers and counting. Tell your friends. Make a game out of it!

Cameron The Blogger From Illinois and West Chester Swedish Chef.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. Cameron the blogger is one of the funniest bloggers out there. Especially his comments on TBY. Check this out.

His sense of humor reminds me a bit of a fellow blogger Swedish Chef. Maybe they're related because if you go to their comments on TBY, print them out, mix them up in a barrel and pull them out - you wouldn't be able to tell who is who.

Go ahead. Try it. You'll see.

West Chester Blogger Yells Out Window on Market Street. Henderson High School.

How embarrassing. As a back story, there was this goofy dude and my dad asked him what high school he went to. In a really loud, slow, goofy ass way of talking - he said proudly, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL". You have to understand that it was super goofy.

Part 2: So my friend Sean loves this accent so when I answer the phone when it's him I just yell, "HENDERSON HIGH SCHOOL" in that same goofy ass way.

Part 3: So I'm driving down Market Street in West Chester the other day and I see my friend Sean. My window's down so I lean my head out, point to him and yell, "HENDER......."

Oh shit! It's not Sean. I stopped in mid sentence, and turned the other way so the dude couldn't identify me.

How embarrassing. I was going to kill him but decided to let him live.

It's very similar what happened to me when I was about eight. I was in church and after mass, I saw my sister. I snuck up behind her, leaned into her ear and garbled nonsense. Something like, "ruprthgrogorakldslkrfal" - just complete nonsense in a stupid, fast motion way of talking.

Then, she turned around - almost in slow motion....and it wasn't her. It was some other chick. I was so horrified I almost fainted. The chick had the expression of, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT KID??"

(Looking to our powerful Lord above as he falls to his knees) WHY do I do this Jesus? WHY have you picked me for these situations. Please give me guidance!

Exotic Dancer Interviews Me - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

As I mentioned about two weeks ago - I love the blog of Prunella De Ville. She's got such a great sense of humor and she just cracks me up.

And she recently reached out (or reached around) to me via email and she's as fascinating in email form as she is in blogger form. And she also gave me one of the best compliments a blogger has ever given me - she went into detail about how funny my writing was - it made me feel great. God, don't you people know that the quickest way to my heart and maybe into my pants is compliments?

So if you want to read a hysterical interview of me (especially the picture she paints in the preview) - hold onto your hats and click here.

And I love the image of me as a 400 year old vampire/werewolf hybrid. Sweet. I mean....it's an accurate description. That's what I meant to say.

Dr Zibbs Interviewed By Kansas Nurse Blogger.

Shawn from the blog Kansas Chaos was the first win an intreview with me this week. To read it click here.

She leaves some funny comments on my blog too. So check it out. I'll be posting the 2nd interview later so don't forget to check back.

And don't cry because you didn't win the chance. Maybe you'll win someday. The odds are very high but you must believe.

Beatles, Weird Lookalikes and Movies.

I love the Beatles.

I love movies.

I'm pretty good when I'm watching a movie and suspending my belief and really getting into the movie.

But...while I'm watching this Beatles movie on VH1 I just can't do it. Whenever I see people playing the Beatles I just can't do it. The actors in this one are actually not bad but I can't get over that they don't look like the Beatles.

I'm still gonna watch it though. OH MY GOD! John's Mum just died!

Here are the real Beatles in Manchester in 1963. Who other than Miss Alex are Beatles fans?

Let's Rub Butts. Hearing Aid Horns and My Memory.

Has anyone ever heard the expression, "Let's rub butts" - then you rub your butt on someone?

I swear I thought I made that up but I made a reference to it once and a blogger said she does that too. I do it to my wife while lying in bed as if it's something that I'm really into - "Let's rub butts!" Was that expression in a movie maybe?

It's hard to remember the things that I make up. It's also hard to remember if the jokes I make up are real or not.

My friend "The Child" was talking about his super old uncle recently. I asked, "You mean the one where everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs to talk to him because he refused to get a hearing aid?"

"Yeah that's him."

"And he had one of those horns that they used in the 1800 to hear?

"He didn't have one of those!"

See what happens there? It was an exaggeration of the story I made years ago and then after hearing the story over the years, I forget that the part that I made up was just a joke.

One wonders how bad this will eventually get. Is anyone else forgetful like this? Maybe I'll start pushing the focus on you guys so I don't look like the senile one.

Who Would Like To Interview Me? - The Blog World's Dr Zibbs.

I am now opening up the lines for 2 people that want to interview me as I did a few weeks ago. If you do want to interview me:

- Email me saying: "I want to interview you" in the subject line.
- When I give you the OK, you can then email me up to 10 questions. I will answer these questions. I have the right to say "not tellin'"
- Note that I will NOT be coming to your home.
- You will then post the interview on your site on Wednesday and I'll link to it.

Please look at my comments section because when I write, THE LINES ARE CLOSED - the two spaces are taken.

And the crying can start. Good luck!

I Love Lucy Fan Spotted In Downingtown Wegmans Parking Lot.

My guess is that this is some of the history of this I Love Lucy license plate that I saw in the Downingtown Wegmans parking lot.

(Chinese factory) "Somebody heart this lady with red hair".

(Friends of "Mabel") "Oh my God! Mabel loves I Love Lucy! We've got to get her this license plate. It's a collectible you know!" They proudly buy the gift.

(Mabel of Caln, PA opens I Love Lucy license plate at birthday party) OH MY GOD! Harry, look what I got! You need to put it on the car so I can drive around town and showcase my new Lucy license plate".

License plate is put onto car and Mabel and friends drive to the Downingtown Wegmans.

(Dr Zibbs in parking lot spots stupid license plate) "Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me! (snaps photo of white trash license plate).

Blogger Imagines Ladder Accident While On Ladder Yesterday.

Yesterday I was way up on the ladder trying to cut branches. You see, I need to get more sunlight going to my veggie garden.

I don't really mind the height once I'm up there but once in a while it spooks me. I looked over and a saw one of the red tailed hawks in another tree and I was imagining that he was going to swoop at me. I'd then accidentally push the ladder and I'd be hanging on for dear life.

I'd be yelling for my wife to put the ladder back. She'd finally get the ladder up but I'd be afraid to put my feet back onto it for fear of falling. We'd then get into an argument over whether she should call some neighbors to help or the fire department but I couldn't figure out which would be less embarrassing.

After a while people would start gathering at the curb to see what all racket was about.

This is a real scenario of the type of stuff that goes through my head everyday. Oh Lord - why was a cursed with this brain? It just won't stop sometimes.

Now enjoy this klutz falling off a small ladder.