Rabbit's Foot and The Dead Man Down Movie. Noomi Repace and Abigail Spencer.

I totally forgot that I used to have a rabbit's foot in 2nd grade. And I used to wear it on my belt loop.And I used to believe that it gave me super powers. I also thought that pieces of fool's gold that I collected gave me powers*. So I tried to keep one of those in my pocket.

I haven't thought about my rabbit's foot in years until I last week when I saw the movie Dead Man Down and there was a rabbit's foot in it. Pretty good movie and I will say that Noomi Repace was great in it. Looking forward to her in more movies. She's not my total type but there's something about her I like. Maybe it's the darkness. Even though I'm not really into that either so who knows. Just a great actress. Here she is:

Here's her when she's dark:

And speaking of women in movies I saw the stupid Oz movie. Don't see it. But there's a chick at the beginning that I DO like. And it was killing me who she was. In case you didn't know I never forget a face. She played the naive Kansas girl at the beginning of the movie. And she was super sweet. Here she is...tell me if you recognize her:

Did you guess? It's Abigail Spencer. She was in the web series Burning Love. Now SHE'S my type. Classic good looks and smiley. If you haven't seen Burning Love check it out. It's a parody of  The Bachelor. That reminds me. I need to check out season two of it that just came out. OK. I gotta go.

*If you want to see the other fashion accessory I had back in the day check out THIS post. 

Anyone Else Watching Indian Movies? Dabanng 2. Downingtown Regal.

As you know I see a lot of movies. And guess what my local theater (Downingtown Regal) has been showing? Indian movies!! We're talking Bollywood baby.

At first I was skeptical thinking I would be bored but they're great! In a cheesy way. Like that dude above? He's in the movie Dabanng 2. And it's NOT a comedy. Look at his proud stance. The stories are actually pretty good but the dudes in the movies are total macho cheeseballs. And the way they treat the ladies is pretty bad. All macho and shit. And the ladies like it. It's like they're in the 70's!

I just hope they keep playing them because whenever I go it's only me and a few other Indian people in the theater. One time this really old Indian lady - and I mean REALLY old - brought her own chair. I was all Huh???

OK so here's a little taste of one of the songs that they broke into during the movie. Let me know what you think.

Riding The Bus With My Sister. Great Acting Rosie.

And when you're acting and you're REAAAAAALLY acting....

So how hard was it to keep a straight face on the Rosie O'Donnell movie Riding the Bus with My Sister where she plays a special? I imagine her barking orders at the crew then a second later going into this terrible acting.

And I bet in interviews she probably said, "this is a story that really had to be told." And I'm sure the word "courage" was thrown around a lot.

Here's the trailer. Feel free to critique her acting in the comments area:

WARNING: Don't See The Movie Safe Haven. Julianna Hough.

I knew the movie Safe Haven was going to be bad but I saw it anyway (with my daughter). And when I say bad I mean Hallmark Channel bad.

Here are a things about it (SPOILER ALERT)

- Julianna Hough looks great but the acting? She totally exaggerates everything. And we know you have a great smile but it's way too much. She KNOWS she's sexy and that makes it annoying. And I can't get over the fact that she goes out with Ryan Seacrest.

- As mentioned above it's like a Hallmark movie. Super cheesy dialogue. Everything is predictable.

- Major inconsistency in the scene pictured above where she's in orange bikini. She's romping around in it in the water and a minute later she's back to wearing a tank top with bra and shorts. Where and why would she have changed??

- There's a scene after the house is burnt to the ground and the set designer should have been "fired." It looks like someone said, "OK we're filming the house after the fire. We have five minutes to throw a few things in this area! Lets get to work people!"

- OK this is the kicker (and Spoiler Alert): Throughout the movie she is friends with a woman that turns out to be the  ghost of Josh Duhamel's wife! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? This is the worst ending I've ever seen to a movie ever. It's kind of like when you find out Bruce Willis was the ghost in The Sixth Sense but it makes no sense here. Was this movie written by a 7th grader? I'm sure Nicholas Sparks thought he was clever when he came up with this but really? So stupid.

Don't see this movie.

THIS IS SO GREAT! Shine On You Crazy Diamond. Kendra Morris.

What's your favorite Pink Floyd Album? Mine has always been "Wish You Were Here." Ahh. The days of sitting around the dorms late at night in my Freshman and Sophomore year. The room dark except for candles. Listening to that album with a friend or two. After...You know.

How many of you did this? Come on...lets see a show of hands.

And on that album one of my favorite songs is "Shine On You Crazy Diamond". It's about the crazy founding Pink Floyd member Syd Barrett in case you didn't know. He left the band because he went crazy. But then he actually came into the studio when they were recording the song but he was fat and had shaved his head so at first they had no idea who is was. (Here's the Wiki page if you want to read about it).

But before you read about it check this out. I was seeing a movie the other day and the trailer for the new Colin Farrell movie Dead Man Down cam on and there's a cover of Shine on You Crazy Diamond playing. And IT'S GREAT!!! Super eire! It's sung by a woman named Kendra Morris. Let me know what you think. I love it!

Django Unchained and Shaft. Movies.

Has anyone seen Django Unchained? If not run to your theater. I've seen it twice. Most entertaining movie I've seen in years.

And a little piece of trivia in you have seen the movie. Did you know that John Shaft (from the movie Shaft) is supposed to be the great, great, great grandson of Broomhilda? It's true. Look on IMDB.

And with that....

Drug Dealer Scene In Boogie Nights. Duh! Alfred Molina.

Does anyone else love the movie Boogie Nights? It's so great. I remember seeing it in the theater and being blown away. And I've seen it now at least 15 times.

Do you know the drug dealer scene? It's so great right? Well I could never figure out who the drug dealer was. And I would never look it up when I was watching it. But I heard Jessie's Girl on the radio the other day and I stopped and looked it up. I KNEW IT! It's the dude that was in Spiderman 2! And a million other movies! Alfred Molina. Here's his IMDB page. I guess I was thrown off because he's so thin in Boogie Nights.

Case closed. And everything about this scene I love. Where do I even start. You just get sucked into it and you know something is going to happen. I've been in similar situations back in the day where I've been somewhere...sitting on the couch...knowing something weird is happening. Phew.

To see the scene click here.

Some Movie Notes. Pissed Off Brother. Ezra Miller. Labia M.

Did anyone sign up for MoviePass? I did. $29.00 a month and you can see unlimited movies at the theater. And I bring my daughter to the movies twice a month so I was spending $39.80 a month anyway so now I got this working for me.

Here are a few notes:

Cloud Atlas - (Tom Hanks movie) Total piece of crap! I hated it.

Sinister (Horror movie with Ethan Hawke) I liked it. Total creepfest. Kind of a horror/thriller really.

Argo - Loved it. And they captured the 70's perfectly. Although don't read what was not true in real life until AFTER you see it.

Flight - Boooooorring. It's really a story about alcoholism. And the crash scene isn't even that good. And you can totally tell they used a smaller plane for the special effects. (NUDITY NOTE: They show full frontal of a hottie including her patch AND lips*. Which I can't remember seeing in an R movie. They showed full frontal in The Master but total hair pie city.)

The Perks of Being A Wallflower - I LOVED this movie! It's the story of a bunch of outcasts in high school in 1991. I love high school movies when they portray high school kids realistically. I think Ezra Miller is going to be a stah! And the delicious Emma Watson can be seen dressed and dancing in the Rocky Horror Susan Sarandon role. Oh yes.

Resident Evil - I didn't really pay for this one I just kind of accidentally walked in. And there were only three people in the theater. It's a science fiction movie based on a video game. And throughout the movie they would do things like, "Securing sector five" then the screen would look like a video game. About 20 minutes in this black dude got up, walked up to the front, looked at the screen and said (to the screen), "Video game BULLSHIT!!" Then walked out.

Skyfall (Bond Movie) - Pretty good but Daniel Craig is more of an action hero and less of a Bond. I'm a Sean Connery man. Clever remarks and he picks up more babes. On an added note I did have to tell some dude to shut off his phone because he was texting. He was thinking of saying something back to me but then couldn't think of anything to say. If he had taken it out again I was going to snatch it out of his hand and say, "You'll get THIS back when the movie is over." Well that was the plan.

*Labia Majora

I've Got A Confession. Movies. Does God Hate Me Now? Take THAT Hollywood!

Shhhhh. I've got a confession.

Sometimes I sneak into movie theaters without paying. Well "sneak" sounds so...sneaky so lets just say I walk in pretending that I may have paid.

It all started about eight or nine months ago. I was going to the movies and I had to take a number one so I just walked past the paying booth and into the bathroom. When I came out I noticed that there was no person standing there to tear the ticket so I just kind of walked in. I did get nervous though. I would have been mortified if the usher came in and busted me. I concocted a story in my head that I was meeting someone there and she already paid for tickets and she was late so I just went into the movie*. Then I figured I would just sneak out when he left.

I've probably done it about ten times. But I'm not sure I'm going to do it anymore because I have this fear that they've been videotaping me every time and when the cops come they're going to ask me if I've ever done it before. And of course I'll say no. But then they'll show me a compilation of me sneaking in every time. And I'll have to be like, "Nope. That's not me."

And they'll be like, "Sir you're wearing the same shirt."

"Um...it's a popular shirt?" Trust me. They'll break me in a minute. I'm a terrible liar.

To tell you the truth though I don't feel that guilty though. The way I rationalize it is that the studio gets 95% of the money from the ticket sales. And with some of the terrible movies I have to sit through maybe I deserve a few free movies. And also, I do write about movies on my blog here. Which sends people to the movies. And are they paying me for this? No. Are they reaping the benefits? Yes. Slavery ended years ago Hollywood! Who am I? Kunta Kinte?

As for the theater, they make all their money from the food. But they mark up their popcorn 900%! Whuuuuu???!!! It's true. And plus I'm in the theater yucking it up thus making the movie experience that much better for paying customers. Do I charge for that? No I do not. And it's not like I stole a candy bar and they have one less candy bar. The seat was going to be there whether my supple ass was in it or not.

OK so that's my rationalization.

*My backup excuse is to look confused and say, "Oh my God I....I can't believe I did that! I was in the bathroom and came out and wasn't thinking." You know. Act dumb.

I Want To Do This In A Movie Theater. Jeffrey Dean Morgan And Javier Bardem Twins.

I went last week to see the movie The Possession with my daughter. Meh. It was OK. Some scary parts. She was really scared though.

I was telling her that whenever I see a horror movie in the theater and there are only a few people in there I think about this thing I want to do. About half way though the movie I want to stand up. Then I just stand for about a minute. Then I slooooooooowly walk toward the back of the theater. Then I walk and sit behind two people and sit directly behind them without saying a thing.

What do you think they would do? Would they get up and leave? Would they say anything? Maybe if they didn't say anything after a few minutes I would put my hand on one of their shoulders. Or just whisper, "It's about to happen." What do think?

And holy crap! I just discovered this when putting the link up there for The Possession! The lead in it was Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Here's his picture:

I totally thought it was Javier Bardem (the No Country For Old Men) actor! Look at his picture:

They look like identical twins!! Am I right?? But guess what? I just Googled both of their names and put in the word "twins" and a million other people think this as well. I guess I'm late to the party on this one.

It's A Cookbook! Scary Moments As A Kid. The Devil's Rain. To Serve Man.

Remember those moments as a child when you watch something on TV and it scares you so badly you look back and think, "I can't believe I didn't have a heart attack."

The other day I was thinking of when my son and I were on a run of watching horror movies. My son was about nine. And a friend of mine looked at me like a was crazy. But to tell you the truth he was never that scared. He thought the movies were fascinating. In fact, the more we watched the more I thought, "Is something wrong with him? Why don't these movies scare him?"

Then it all changed. We had been watching mostly modern day movies but I picked up some Twilight Zone episodes. Remember the episode, "To Serve Man?" With Lurch from The Addams Family as the alien? And the aliens seem friendly. They have a book called, "To Serve Man."

Well at the end of the episode as people  are getting on the space ship it's revealed that, "To Serve Man! (get ready...here it comes) It's a COOKBOOK!"

My son grabs by arm and starts yelling, "OH MY GOD! AHHHHHH!!!!"

And proceeds to freak out. He was spooked for the next few weeks. He said later it was so terrifying to him because of the shock that people were innocently getting on the ship they had no idea they were going to be eaten. Pretty spooky huh?

To read a post about a movie that scared me as a kid click here

And to read the Wiki page for To Serve Man click here
. 

Has Anyone Seen The Movie Lawless? Jeniffer Chastain. Hot.

Has anyone seen the movie Lawless? It got mixed reviews but I'd like to recommend it. It's really good! It's a period* piece about some Virginia County bootleggers during prohibition. Some really good performances. Especially noteworthy is a character played by Guy Pearce. Super creepy. I wish they had more back story on that nance** (as he was called).

And Jessica Chastain (beautiful  red head above was also good). Everyone really. Tom Hardy? Shia LaBeouf? Bot really good. But I do think Guy Pearce should get an Oscar nomination.

So there you go. Check it out.

*Uh...he said "period."
**an effeminate male

When You're Acting and You're REALLY Acting. The Campaign.

Here are some random thoughts on acting in some movies that I've seen lately

The Campaign - Pretty funny. Zack Galifianakis is a riot. Great to see him play a role that's completely different from what he usually plays. Not great but enough laughs to make it worth it. Some laugh out loud parts.

Total Recall - This movie didn't get the best reviews but I liked it. I never really liked the original to tell you the truth. And Kate Beckinsale of course is hot and plays a badass. Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaaaaahhh.

Hope Springs - This is about an older couple that doesn't have a love/sex life anymore. I enjoyed it but pretty depressing. You're basically watching a couple go through marriage counseling. Meryl Streep as usual is phenomenal. I'm thinking of calling her up to see if she wants to do a project together. When it was over I heard one lady say to another, "Now I'm depressed."

The Dark Knight Rises - Pretty good movie as Comic Book movies go. (As you know I'm not a huge fan). Joseph Gordon Levitt was great however. I'm predicting he's going to be an A-lister soon. And of course Michael Caine was great.

Moonrise Kingdom - Another quirky movie by Wes Anderson. It takes place in the early sixties on a small island off of New England. A boy and girl run away together. I liked it. No standout performances but Kara Hayward - the girl - is good given that this was her first movie.

There you go. Did anyone see any of these movies?

Thoughts About The Movie Ted. East Whiteland Theater.

I saw the movie Ted the other day. I give it 7 out of 10 stars. There are some hysterical parts where I was laughing like crazy. But just like The Family Guy so much of it just tries to be outrageous and it gets annoying. And as usual the blow hards in the theater that were guffawing and over laughing at everything were making me ill. (And repeating lines as if nobody heard the line).

And having Set MacFarlane do the voice of Ted was distracting the entire movie because it's the exact voice of Peter Griffin (Family Guy). And they even made a joke about it but still..stupid choice. I do think he is brilliant but he just goes over the top too often and it bothers me when people laugh at the obvious jokes but the not the really funny jokes that are subtle.

Other thoughts:

- Giovanni Ribisi was GREAT! Great creepy character!

- I love that Norah Jones was in it. Her new haircut is cute. I still need to see her in concert.

- If you were a Flash Gordon (from the 80's) fan you'll love this movie because Sam J. Jones was in it. His scenes are so funny.

- There's a part where Mila Kunis has to pick up a poop that had me rolling on the floor.

So did any of you see it? And it made $54 million! I knew it was going to make a lot. I think it will make at least $200 million by the end of July.

Chester County Man Practices Slow Clap.

Nothing beats the slow clap for adding drama and drawing attention to yourself. I'm thinking I'm going to start the slow clap for minor things like when someone does something slightly embarrassing like tripping or for random things like someone successfully placed their sandwich order.

Don't forget to join in if you see me out there in the field starting a slow clap. OK, now to review these movie slow claps and practice the proper technique.

Is John Travolta A Homosexual? Proof. Staying Alive.

Is John Travolta indeed a homosexual? That is the question that everyone is asking. So I decided to do a little research.  I started with the video of Greased Lightening....

And it's kind of hard to tell if he is gay from the video. I can tell two things. One, he's really not that great of a dancer. And two, Jeff Conaway is an public nuisance. 

So I did a bit more digging and came across a picture of John Travolta from Staying Alive. And after looking at the picture I can conclude that he is indeed....a homosexual. 

The proof...

is in.....

the pudding....

The Avengers Was Terrible. Big Letdown In East Whiteland Theater.

I don't know why I even thought I would like The Avengers. The only super hero/comic book movie I ever really liked was Sin City.

But I'm probably the only person in America that didn't like it because on Rotten Tomatoes it got a 90 plus from critics and common folk.

Why did I hate it? First off, it was boring. I also can't stand the stupid dialog. Here's an example:

Captain America: We need a plan of attack.

Iron Man: I have a plan. Attack. (then he attacks and everyone cheers).

The fight scenes are also absurd. Except for Iron Man (and maybe the Hulk) how can the others have a 25 minute fight scene and not get a scratch on them? They do have skin you know.

And as for the "humor", everytime a "joke" would be be told there would be people in the audience that would guffaw as if it was the funniest thing they'd every heard. Trust me, if they were at home they wouldn't be laughing at at all. But that's a pet peeve of mine too. People who laugh extra loud in theaters because they want to draw attention to themselves.

OK. If you thought it was good tell me why. I won't cut you down.

Chester County Man Sees The Artist At The Downingtown Theater.

Oh my God did you guys see the movie The Artist? If you didn't then rush out and see it! I didn't think I was going to love it but I did. Oh. And that's Berenice Bejo in the picture above. She's one of the stars.

It was such a great movie. After yelling for the first five minutes, "We can't heeeeaaaaar it....Turn the sound up pleaaaaaasse..." I realized it was a silent film and settled in. And you would think that being a silent film would make it boring but it didn't. It's just a really touching story. But I don't think I would have loved it so much if it weren't for the two lead actors. Just great performances and so likeable.

I think I'll add it to my favorite movies of all time which include: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, American Beauty, Waiting for Guffman, Goodfellas and uhhh...uhhh.. God that's all I can think of now. I'll add some more in the comments when I remember.

Now back to Berenice Bejo. Oh baby. Just love her. But I'm a sucker for women with perfect features, big eyes, face that lights up when they smile and you can tell that they're super sweethearts. And her character has a great sense of humor in the film too. So she's got it all.

Yup. That's my type. Here's another picture of her:

Downingtown Regal Theater Badass Incident. Courage.

I finally blew my stack at the movie theater.

You might recall I told old people to shuusssh a few months ago by saying, "Will you please stop talking??"

Well this time it was a pack of kids. A wolfpack if you will. I'm guessing they were about 12 years old. But they were wolfey. AND scrappy.. And they wouldn't shut their yappers. I did the classic head turn first. Trying to show I was pissed. I don't think they even heard me.

I was thinking maybe I would walk to the back row all creepy style and say, "This is a theater. You don't talk in theaters. So I need it quiet. And for the damage you've done so far I'm going to take your popcorn. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to return to my seat and TRY to get back into the zone of letting myself go."

Instead I just blurted out, "SHUUUTTTT UUUPP!!"

I was kind of pissed because I was hoping the other in the people in the theater would start clapping. Or I would hear someone say something like, "Stanley why don't YOU have the courage to do something like that?" As she leans her head trying to get of glimpse of me. Wondering, "Who IS that man?'

But instead it went silent. A few of them laughed. Friggin' punks.

Of course then I was stewing so when the 15 year old usher came in I whistled and waved him over.

Me: I need you to kick the back row out. They won't shut up.

The usher walks to the back then returns.

Usher: I told them to be quiet. I'll come back in ten minute sir and you let me know if they're still talking.

They actually did shut up. So when the usher came back he looked at me and I gave him the OK signal. I was going to give him the thumbs up but thought they might be taken as, "kick them out."

In closing. Shut up at the movies.

Worst Casting Of The Year In The Sitter. Kylie Bunbury.

I think I wrote about my relationship number dating theory. It's this: You rarely see more than a 4 point difference in the looks department of people. Meaning if you're a 4, you probably won't be dating a 9.

There are exceptions. If the dude is really rich. Or maybe SUPER charismatic. Or if the dude is kinda of mental. And maybe if he's really religious. But lets face it. Do you ever see more than a 4 point difference?

(SPOILER ALERT)

And I was reminded of this when I saw trailer for The Sitter. I saw the movie a few weeks ago. Pretty funny. But a still heavy Jonah Hill ends up with Kylie Bunbury. He's a 2 and she's a 9.5. Sooooooo unbelievable! And I hope it doesn't come off as shallow but you would never see this in real life. And it makes even less sense given the context of the movie.

And actors do this all the time. Hear this Adam Sandler? You and Kate Beckinsale? I don't think so. Even though that one made more sense than this.

And below is the picture of Kylie Bunbury. You be the judge.


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