I think I played this a long time ago on TBY. It's Brad Nealy's Baby Cakes. Lies.
This is a hysterical video. What do you think? I just really think that this is brilliant and would love to meet this dude and try to get inside his head. I'm not sure if anyone in Hollywood has tapped him yet but come on. This is just great!
I've been blogging for a while. And I've always made it a point to write posts about other blogs that I like. Most people that have been reading my blog for a while know that I've been really generous when it comes to the amount of bloggers that I link to in posts.
And it's not just so they'll link back to me. Even though they do. I really do love to watch a blog that has nobody reading it start to grow. And even though I write all this crazy stuff, I love the people that are writing these posts. It's such a part of my life now. Nothing like being out and around and having a bunch of comments to read on my blackberry.
It took me ages to have people read my blog. If you look at the early days of my blog - nobody was reading it. Nobody. I'd write a post then ask, "What do you think?" (cricket, cricket) But all it really took was to start commenting on other blogs.
So here's a post from Candy that really made me feel great. Really great. To view it, click here.
And on a related note. Are you a lurker or someone that hasn't left a comment in a while? Go ahead, leave one now.
Waiting for Guffman is on my top 10 list of funniest movies ever. If you haven't seen it, go rent it now. Here's the song "Nothing Ever Happens on Mars" featuring Christopher Guest, Catherine O'Hara and crew.
And Eugene Levy as the Martian.
Seriously, if you're looking for a movie that is super dry, this is it. It's even better than Spinal Tap.
If this live version of Mockingbird with James Taylor and Carley Simon doesn't put a smile on your face...you're brain dead.
YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS NOW!!
I thought today was the Chester County Hospital May Festival but it's actually May 26. Which is perfect. Because I was thinking about going there, getting in the moon bounce and then putting on these:
They're aerator shoes.
Then as the deflation of the giant moon bounce begins the screams of joy will turn to screams of horror. Parents will frantically pull through the folds of the still flapping rubber looking for their children.
Someone will drop to their knees and scream, "Why??"
Just as the last child is pulled from the wreckage I will emerge from what's left of the moon bounce wearing my fancy ass aerator shoes. Everyone will look at me with confusion and anger at which point I'll get all pissed and innocently say,
"WHAT????....(looking around) WHAT?? I thought that....Oh forget it!"
Then I'll stomp away all pissed off.
I'm going to ask you to do something a bit unconventional here:
1) Get two brooms and duct tape them into the shape of a cross.
2) Drape some manly fabric over the horizontal broom.
3) Tape a photo of a celebrity that you think looks like me - upside down - onto a bucket and place it on the top of the vertical broom.
(pause and go get your dancing shoes)
Now after saying, "I dedicate this song to new time reader and funny commenter Samsmama and my great blogger friend Fancy "Claven" Schmancy "- (one of my favorite smart asses in the blogosphere). ...pretend that the ridiculous contraption you made is me and start dancing with it to Bobby Darin singing "Beyond the Sea"
221 followers and slowly growing. ....like a Chia Pet.
...and that man was me.
Yesterday I was in the Produce Junction in Exton and some lady was bending over looking at flowers. You could totally see a lot of her boobage. So I took a quick peek. I was just about to move on then she bent over again so - like metal drawn to a magnet I took another quick glance.
Nothing too creepy I thought.
Then she saw me looking and quickly stood up.
I was going to say, "Do you even know who I am?"..but didn't want to embarrass her. Why do you ladies even wear stuff and expose the boobs to us if you don't want us to look? Jesus.
So do you like when we take a look or not? Let's just settle this once and for all. Is there a proper amount of time to look? Should we not smile, nod our heads, put hands on hips, swirl head around and say, "Oh you got it goin' on sister - YOU GOT.IT GOIN.OOOOOONNNNN" (snaps fingers then twirls then snaps again then does the bump twice)?
What are are the rules?
Here's a Sesame Street song that will be stuck in your head. The catchy diddy "The Lady Bug Picnic".
And listen to the great use of the kazoos and jews harp. Well done.
Here are some random things about some bloggers that read my blog. Maybe I'll make this a regular feature. Please visit their blogs and tell them Zibbs sent you. Remember, the more we mention each other's blogs, the more popular our blogs become. But of course it makes much more sense to mention a blog like mine - because it's a famous one. Choose wisely.
- Wendy B is a sweetheart and I love her smile. And she's a great jewelry designer.
- Earl and Slyde are two dudes that are as close to my group of real life guy friends that I know in my blogosphere.
- Ask Alice - is someone that has been absent on TBY for ages but I'm glad she's back. It kind of bums me out the number of people that have dropped out since last fall. I hope she's back for good.
- Jill from Caffeine Court is a long time reader. We're the same age and she went to a neighboring high school. I'd be surprised if we didn't meet within the next year. She lives in the same neighborhood as Springsteen you know.
- I think Scandalous Housewife is sexy. I'm glad that she decided to finally comment on my blog after I guilted her into it.
- I'm offering to help Shawn with her saggy boob issues. Except it's going to be really hard to help without seeing them. I'm a doctor damn it. Maybe she could do one of those construction paper silhouette deals that 1st graders do of their big ass heads. At least it would be a starting point for my diagnosis.
So are any of you fans of any of these bloggers? Also, do you want to be like me? Why don't YOU write a blog post about some other bloggers. Might as well start with highlighting me..just in case you're nervous and all.....
The lovely Peggy from the blog Stir Crazy in the Suburbs sent me this video. This theme always cracks me up. Something terrible happens then someone makes fun of it. In this case it's a cat playing piano.
I watched these a few times and giggled like an idiot. YOU HAVE TO WATCH THESE. Tell me what you think.
http://www.playhimoffkeyboardcat.com/
Just a few questions about the retards that stand outside of the Today Show with their signs:
- Do they make their signs before traveling? And roll them up and consider it carry on? Holding it like precious gold the entire way?
- Or perhaps the first stop they make in New York is to a drugstore so they can pick up sign making supplies.
- Do some of the signs have even worse sayings on the back and even crappier handwriting because it was their first draft?
- For years to come, do they tell tell the story of how their sign made it onto The Today Show for 3 seconds and Al Roker almost made a comment about it until he saw the "Super Moms from Michigan" sign.
And lastly, do these people have any idea that there's much more interesting things to do in New York?
If you've had "finding the gayest Star Trek video" on your list - go about your regular chores because I found it.
Also, I did see the new Star Trek movie this weekend in Downingtown. It was pretty good. Wasn't great but it's worth seeing.
Did anyone else see it? What did you think? As I said on Twitter (follow my gripping words by clicking the sidebar icon) I really liked the dude that did Spock. The Kirk actor wasn't too bad either.
A few years ago my daughter left a shampoo cap off of the bottle in the tub. The slippery shampoo seeped out of the bottle. I was showering up my nude body (including the sexy reproductive areas) when I slipped and fell out of the tub.
I landed with my upper body on the outside of the tub and my lower body on the inside of the tub. I ended up with a black and blue mark the size of a basketball.
This could have been a much funnier bathroom story if it had involved a toilet, or if it had happened to you - not me. Because it hurt like hell and I wasn't laughing.
But it brings me to this question. Has anyone ever fallen into the toilet because the toilet seat was up? Because that's funny.
Please tell your story.
Foster Brooks was born today. Here's a really funny clip of him roasting Don Rickles at a Dean Martin celebrity roast.
His pretend drunkenness cracks me up but the reaction of the other people makes it even funnier.
But I still think Ed Norton and Ralph Kramden on The Honeymooners were funnier drunks when they drank grape juice and thought they were drunk. Does anyone remember that episode?
I've never called for anyone to be fired but after reaching for deodorant this morning that's all changed.
I was out of my own deodorant so I was fishing around in the closet and found Ban Vanilla Scented Deodorant. I guess it'll be fine to wear for a day. I don't really smell so I only wear deodorant because I'm a very compassionate person and I don't want stinky people to feel different.
Well guess what's on the label of this vanilla scented Ban bottle? I'm not lying here. It says, "limited edition packaging"!!
How in the hell is this a selling benefit? How many levels of the marketing department saw this and thought it was a good idea to make it "limited edition"? I could see if it were in a train shaped glass bottle like those crappy Avon colognes but it's in the regular shaped plastic bottle.
Or maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I should hoard as many as I can and in fifty years I can bring a case of them on Antiques Roadshow.
"What you have here Dr Zibbs is a perfect vanilla scented Ban bottle. Notice how it's light green instead of dark green. I've seen pomegranate scented bottles go for $5000 at auction but I don't recall ever seeing vanilla. Congratulations."
"Wow. I could sell it but I guess the wise thing to do will be to keep it in the family as it's such a part of our family history."
So I'm home to change after a funeral I went to and now I'm going back to my sister's house. Many of my extended family will be there from all over the country as it was my Uncle from Chicago that died.
Since we might be swimming in her heated pool and attached hot tub this is the quickest video I could find. Monkeys in a hot tub in Japan. Look at them go!
First of all. I hope people weren't too pissed because of the joke I pulled on my blog today.
Where I come from, instead of saying sorry, we offer the person a song. Sometimes we sing it. Sometimes we write the lyrics out in calligraphy on a brown paper bag and burn the edges to make it look all old and shit. And other times we just fling the record at the person and say, "Here. Mom made me say sorry."
So please listen to Men Without Hats singing "Safety Dance" and lets all move on. Shall we?
And this Friday Send Off Song is dedicated to Mo Stoneskin. Check out his blog and tell him Zibbs sent ye'.
A drumroll please........
Taaadaaa! Since I still want to stay kind of anonymous, I've posted a picture from about 18 - 20 years ago. I know it's over 16 years old because I have butt in my hand.
OK. Before everyone jumps in and says I'm a nerd, this is a very old picture of me AND I have contacts now. I also don't have a cheesy ass mustache anymore. And I'm much thinner now too. Damn have I aged well.
Do you know what I do have though? I still have that shirt..better get rid of that thing.
But I don't have the computer. I'm strictly a laptop man now.
So there you go. You've seen me.
I will be posting a picture of myself tomorrow. Yes. It's true. I may leave it up all day or maybe I'll just post it for a few hours so you better be checking out my blog.
And anyone who copies and pastes it onto their blog will get the wrath of me. When it's gone it's gone. So you might want to team up and take shifts.
So in anticipation, I will play this Carly Simon song, "You're so Vain". (You're..meaning me)
Good luck trying to sleep tonight.
I love watching people.
And I like to rate people with numbers. Before I meet someone, it's obviously based just on looks. Like when you're walking through the mall or down the boardwalk and you see a couple, you rate them on a scale of one to ten.
Don't lie - you do it too.
But then if someone has a really great, charismatic personality, or they're really funny, really interesting or super sweet (chicks only), they may get a few more points from me. It's my scale and that's how it works.
Usually, couples are pretty close to their partner in number though. It's not that often that I'm thinking, "What the hell is she doing with him? Once in a while but it's not that often.
Then, once in a while you get the four point people difference. It's pretty rare. "Wait a minute!You're a five but she's an nine! What up wit dat brudda?" I find that it's usually money. Rich goofy ass dudes matched with good looking chicks that don't feel like working.
Have you ever met a couple that was more than four points apart?
And on a related subject, do you chicks ever tell your girl friends that they've got to sleep with some dude because he's so great in bed? I like to think that you do. And that it's happened to me. You know - because I'm so great in bed. Seriously. Your head would spin. I'm not making this up.
Except make sure to freshen up.
Seeing the That Blue Yak merchandise on my last post got me thinking about the early days of my blog. And that got me thinking about my video for the Gypsy Foot Care Factory.
It's an original video made by me - Dr Zibbs. I post it up on my famous blog about every few months not just to torture my older readers but to treat my new readers who may have never seen it. And listen to one of my crazzzzy voices in that video. It doesn't even sound like me - does it?
What do you think?
It's true! Someone bought 2 That Blue Yak mugs from here:
buy unique That Blue Yak gifts at Zazzle
Was it you? Maybe it was you? Or perhaps (looking around)....wait....was it YOU?
Seriously, was it you? And don't lie.
And my good real life friend McGlinch from Feed the Ogre did the design a long time ago so check out his blog if you want to see a great music blog that talks about music (half of which are groups I've never heard of).
But check out his blog anyway and tell him I sent you because he promised me a few sips of the $6 he made off of the mugs he sold. Maybe I'll get a full beer if he gets enough visitors.
And if you're wondering why he gets the money from TBY stuff it's because he did the art for free and I told him if I ever start selling a lot of stuff I'll just dump him. It happens.
Now go and buy some TBY stuff. Thanks.
So Sunday night, after an exhausting weekend of going to a wedding Saturday then a Communion on Sunday and basically just being fabulous, I was ready to get to bed early.
Until I turned the TV on.
And there he was. Paul Williams. In a 1974 movie called Phantom of the Paradise. I like to think that I'm pretty versed in pop culture. Especially the 60's, 70's and 80's but I'm totally embarrassed to say I've never,ever heard of Phantom of the Paradise, I've never seen it in a book and I've never heard anyone refer to it.
How can this happen????
Because look how awesomely craptacular it is!!!! Has anyone else heard of this movie? I only saw the last half hour but I'll be renting it very shortly. And studying it. Scene by crappy scene.
Except for the male bloggers, I encourage all my readers to post pictures of themselves in various stages of undress. Like Phat Mama did here. And look how I was mentioned. I'm famous.
And if you read the comments of that post, you'll see that Phat Mama was unsure if sending me X-rated pics would be OK. Let me make something perfectly clear: (talking into bull horn) YES. IT IS OK.
In fact, it's also encouraged. And if you think about it, it's very,very natural. And you don't want to be un-natural do you? Seriously, we're all adults here.
And I won't repost them or anything.
And if you're too shy, some might think to take pictures of their roommates while they're sleeping or really drunk and forward those as well. Or perhaps wear a mask. It's really up to you. Remember, just be yourself.
And if I really do have Jesusy powers like I'm starting to think - I will reserve a spot for you in heaven.
Today I was in church for my nephew's Communion. Here are some random thoughts:
- I was able to sit in the very back pew. Sweet.
- The sermon was about how sheep can be "really stupid animals and they'll always be stupid unless they have a shepherd. And a priest is a shepherd". Are you kidding me? I swear he said this.
- Some 14 year old girl was about to puke and her mom had to run her out of the church. She was waving to people to get out of the way.
- There was this hot lady that I met before at a business function and I was checking her out during the mass. She looked kind of sad though. Like Sarah Connor from the Terminator.
- When it was time to kneel I was trying to put the pew down and my brother whispered. "You've got to be kidding me?" I couldn't stop laughing the rest of the mass. And then I was thinking how I wanted to pass him a note saying how much Jesus hated him (courtesy of Pru) and it just got me laughing more.
- When the collection plate came around I was thinking, "there's no way I'm putting a dime in". The five year old in front of me was given a $20 bill to put in. Is that the going rate?
Gotta go. The Simpsons are on in five minutes.
And a bit of Tenacious D for you. It's a Cosmic Shame.
Seriously, it is...because "that shit came off of the top a my fuckin' head ya'll"
Enjoy it Holmes....
What the hell is this goofy ass bird? It's just a wooden sculpture that adds a little whimsy to my famous THE THAT BLUE YAK GARDEN OF HOPE - that's all. My famous West Chester, PA garden that is.
The problem is you see - it doesn't have a name. Would you like to name it? Leave your name suggestion in the comments section. I will then refer to the creature as your name. If you win that it.
And feel free to come up with a back story/legend or the use that this creature performs in my garden.
Now get to work.
Happy Friday. The Friday Send Off Song is dedicated to Phat Mama since she mentioned me in a post. I'm not really sure if she's fat or not so no disrespect but the song is Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.
Why don't YOU mention me in a post. Give it at try. Don't be shy.
Crank it up and enjoy! TGIF!
215 bloggers and growing. Slowly for some reason.
Here are some real questions that I'd like some answers to:
- I wonder how I should approach Twitter to get more blog followers? And where does this all end? Am I just wasting my time?
- Does anyone else think The Office has jumped the shark?
- Is there any subject that you'd really like me to blog about?
- How long until voice recognition works really good so I can write blog posts while driving?
- I need to get one of those man scaping razors. But where to start?
- Does anyone have a really, really great coleslaw recipe?
- Does anyone do TM? How long does it take a person to really get good at it? And I have ADHD so I have a very short attention span so take that into consideration.
