It's July 18 and the Philly area is starting another heat wave today. And of course that means that the radio and TV will be reminding everyone to check on the elderly.
(Me holding chin, eyes looking up and the start of dream sequence music).......But I wonder if they ever found an old person a year later that had died in a heat wave because he was too cheap to splurge for a $12 box fan at Walmart. And when they showed up....it was just a human skeleton holding....get ready - here it comes...holding only a handmade paper hand fan. And on that fan was pictures of popsicles and penguins. The words "stay cool Poppy - Love Timmy" were chicken scratched onto the fan - the "L" of course was spelled backwards so they had to find a mirror to hold it up to so they could decipher it. The problem is when they try to pull the fan out of his hand, the whole hand comes off with it.
My question is this: If it were another heat wave (and understanding that Poppy was already dead) - would it be wrong to use the hand fan with creepy skeleton hand still on it to beat the heat while you looked around the house to make sure there were no other survivors (or skeletons)? Of course you wouldn't be making a mockery of the situation by dancing around and saying, "Look at me - I've got a skeleton hand -I've got a 'bone' to pick with you'" - and immature stuff like that.
While you wonder that age long riddle my ass is heading down to Sea Isle City. So looooong suckers! Oh...that reminds me I've got to pack a sweater. I likes to crank up the air.